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random funny saying generated randomly from our collections

easter motivational quotes,famous baseball quotes,famous golf sayings,funny teen quotes,quotes about good vs evil,

   Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishnessIt's the men who are discriminated againstThey can't bear childrenAnd no one's likely to do anything about that
 ~quotes about Mothers Day by Golda Meir

   Get married, in any case. If you happen to get a good mate, you will be happy; if a bad one, you will become philosophical, which is a fine thing in itself.
 ~random funny saying by Socrates, in Diogenes Laertius, Lives

   The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
 ~saying on Golf by Ernest Hemingway

   How do people make it through life without a sister?
 ~random funny saying by Sara Corpening

   Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.
 ~random by Mark Twain, Note-Book, 1935

   The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
 ~sayings about random by Foe Ancis

   The real differences around the world today are not between Jews and Arabs; Protestants and Catholics; Muslims, Croats, and Serbs. The real differences are between those who embrace peace and those who would destroy it; between those who look to the future and those who cling to the past; between those who open their arms and those who are determined to clench their fists.
 ~quotes about Peace by William J. Clinton, 1997

   Woman didn't get the short end of every stick. At least God gave us handheld massaging shower heads.
 ~random funny saying by Rhann Morgan

   Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.
 ~saying on Baseball by Bill Veeck

   The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
 ~random funny saying by Calvin Trillin

   An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate.
 ~random by Chateaubriand, Le Génie du Christianisme, 1802

   You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
 ~sayings about random by Mark Twain

   Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.
 ~quotes about Living by Jerome K. Jerome, The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow, 1889

   Man alone, of all god’s creatures, can change himself for the better
 ~random funny saying by

   The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
 ~saying on Religion by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
 ~random funny saying by Mark Twain

   Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams.
 ~random by Fyodor Dostoevski

   My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
 ~sayings about random by Errol Flynn

   Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Author Unknown

   A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses
 ~random funny saying by H. L. Mencken

   I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
 ~saying on Helping by Author Unknown

   Hair brings one's self-image into focus; it is vanity's proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices.
 ~random funny saying by Shana Alexander

   The least lack of discipline starts to erode our
self-esteem.
 ~random by Jim Rohn

   The mother's heart is the child's school-room.
 ~sayings about random by Henry Ward Beecher

   Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness.
 ~quotes about Adversity by André Gide, L'immoraliste

   In college, Yuppies major in business administration. If to meet certain requirements they have to take a liberal arts course, they take Business Poetry.
 ~random funny saying by Dave Barry

   Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
 ~saying on Living by Euripides, Alexander

   God has given a great deal to man, but man would like something from man.
 ~random funny saying by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   The moment a child is born, the mother is also bornShe never existed beforeThe woman existed, but the mother, neverA mother is something absolutely new
 ~random by Rajneesh

   The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune.
 ~sayings about random by Boris Pasternak

   I'm not an environmentalist. I'm an Earth warrior.
 ~quotes about Environment by Darryl Cherney, quoted in Smithsonian, April 1990

   So many pictures, so little time!
 ~random funny saying by Author Unknown

   Creativity arises out of the tension between spontaneity and limitations, the latter (like the river banks) forcing the spontaneity into the various forms which are essential to the work of art or poem
 ~saying on Creativity by Rollo May

   What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
 ~random funny saying by George Eliot

   Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.
 ~random by From the movie The Color of Money

   Be an opener of doors for such as come after thee, and do not try to make the universe a blind alley.
 ~sayings about random by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   If everybody contemplates the infinite instead of fixing the drains, many of us will die of cholera.
 ~quotes about Philosophy by John Rich

   Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything
 ~random funny saying by Katherine Hepburn

   A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.
 ~saying on Death by Thomas Mann

   Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough.
 ~random funny saying by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Those who set out to serve both God and Mammon soon discover that there is no God.
 ~random by Logan Pearsall Smith

   Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.
 ~sayings about random by Hugh Miller, Snow on the Wind

   See love is not who you can live with it's the one you can't live without.
 ~quotes about Love by

   Be ready when opportunity comes. Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.
 ~random funny saying by Roy D. Chapin, Jr.

   With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog.
 ~saying on Dogs by Edward Jesse, Anecdote of Dogs

   Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.
 ~random funny saying by Eric Hoffer, Passionate State of Mind, 1955

   Love is a symbol of eternityIt wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end
 ~random by Author Unknown

   Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.
 ~sayings about random by St. Augustine

   We are not who we are because of our abilities...
We are who we are because of our choices....
 ~quotes about Attitude by

   My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character
 ~random funny saying by Charles Barkley

   Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.
 ~saying on Education by John Dewey

   The first attribute that characterizes the greater man from the moron is his thicker layer of inhibition.
 ~random funny saying by Martin H. Fischer

   It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit to forgive them for having witnessed your own.
 ~random by Jessamyn West

   We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness
 ~sayings about random by David Weatherford

   Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.
 ~quotes about Adversity by Hugh Miller, Snow on the Wind

   Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
 ~random funny saying by Helen Rowland

   Every American child should grow up knowing a second language, preferably English.
 ~saying on Language by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success
 ~random funny saying by Ingrid Bergman

   Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers.
 ~random by Leo Rosten


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