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Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be. Punishment is now unfashionable... because it creates moral distinctions among men, which, to the democratic mind, are odious. We prefer a meaningless collective guilt to a meaningful individual responsibility. Photography deals exquisitely with appearances, but nothing is what it appears to be. The historian reports to us, not events themselves, but the impressions they have made on him. It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. There are children playing in the streets who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago. If you’re not enthusiastic about your job you are in the wrong job. If at all possible change it. Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are. Do not despair, every new born baby is a potential prophet If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them! Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. It is wholesome and bracing for the mind to have its faculties kept on the stretch. Only that day dawns to which we are awake. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't. He wrapped himself in quotations - as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors. To leave footprints on the sands of time, wear work shoes. We didn't starve, but we didn't eat chicken unless we were sick, or the chicken was. Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going As the poet said, only God can make a tree - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends. I conceive that the land belongs to a vast family of which many are dead, few are living, and countless numbers are still unborn A mind always employed is always happyThis is the true secret, the grand recipe, for felicity When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news. Children, don't speak so coarsely, said Mr. Webster, who had a vague notion that some supervision should be exercised over his daughters' speech, and that a line should be drawn, but never knew quite when to draw it. He had allowed his daughters to use his library without restraint, and nothing is more fatal to maidenly delicacy of speech than the run of a good library. If my devils are to leave me, I am afraid my angels will take flight as well. We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver. Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others. One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty A man that should call everything by its right name would hardly pass the streets without being knocked down as a common enemy. Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase. Nonviolence is about speaking the whole complicated truth, the truth of our rage, the truth of our longing, the truth of our tears and our laughter, the truth of our smallest fears and our grandest dreams I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength. Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think. [M]ovie-making is the process of turning money into light. All they have at the end of the day is images flickering on a wall. Give all to love; obey thy heart. I couldn't help but say to [Mr. Gorbachev], just think how easy his task and mine might be in these meetings that we held if suddenly there was a threat to this world from another planet[We'd] find out once and for all that we really are all human beings Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it. America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless. I am sure that nothing has such a decisive influence upon a man's course as his personal appearance, and not so much his appearance as his belief in its attractiveness or unattractiveness. In an earlier stage of our development most human groups held to a tribal ethic. Members of the tribe were protected, but people of other tribes could be robbed or killed as one pleased. Gradually the circle of protection expanded, but as recently as 150 years ago we did not include blacks. So African human beings could be captured, shipped to America and sold. In Australia white settlers regarded Aborigines as a pest and hunted them down, much as kangaroos are hunted down today. Just as we have progressed beyond the blatantly racist ethic of the era of slavery and colonialism, so we must now progress beyond the speciesist ethic of the era of factory farming, of the use of animals as mere research tools, of whaling, seal hunting, kangaroo slaughter and the destruction of wilderness. We must take the final step in expanding the circle of ethics. Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them. An artist cannot talk about his art any more than a plant can discuss horticulture. Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it Living is being born slowly. It would be a little too easy if we could borrow ready-made souls. I don't agree with mathematics; the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure. The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go. Religion: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. It matters more what's in a woman's face than what's on it. 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