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A margin of life is developed by Nature for all living things - including man. All life forms obey Nature's demands - except man, who has found ways of ignoring them. There are three religious truths: 1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. To the aesthete it is an art form, an athletic ballet. To the spiritually inclined it is a religion. If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. In the hope to meet, Shortly again, and make our absence sweet. The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called 'Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film It is not love that is blind, but jealousy. There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen. Healthy people are invalids who don't know it. We find comfort in those who agree with us, but growth in those who don’t agree. Half the interest of a garden is the constant exercise of the imagination. Although I am almost illiterate mathematically, I grasped very early in life that any one who can count to ten can count upward indefinitely if he is fool enough to do so. Nobody ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have while trying to write one Without labor nothing prospers. It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence. A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. We're finally going to get the bill for the Industrial Age. If the projections are right, it's going to be a big one: the ecological collapse of the planet. Home is not where you live but where they understand you. There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope. Desert rains are usually so definitely demarked that the story of the man who washed his hands in the edge of an Arizona thunder shower without wetting his cuffs seems almost credible. Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity. A man who has no office to go to - I don't care who he is - is a trial of which you can have no conception. [Psychoanalysis] is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, You're tearing up the grass. We're not raising grass, Dad would reply. We're raising boys. You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. I bake all the time, but I don't like to eat the cookies when they're done. I just like the dough Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours. It has been left to our generation to discover that you can move heaven and earth to save five minutes and then not have the faintest idea what to do with them when you have saved them. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote To alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems You can't fall off the floor. There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. How many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards? You can subtract it as many times as you want, and it leaves 76 every time. If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is In Rome you long for the country; in the country - oh inconstant! - you praise the distant city to the stars. Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them. Bread and butter, devoid of charm in the drawing-room, is ambrosia eating under a tree. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought. Unfortunately, it is also true that the age's interests often color the past with unhistoric hues. Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. Most people are willing to pay more to be amused than to be educated. ...a final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless. Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. Suppose some mathematical creature from the moon were to reckon up the human body; he would at once see that the essential thing about it was that it was duplicate. A man is two men, he on the right exactly resembling him on the left. Having noted that there was an arm on the right and one on the left, a leg on the right and one on the left, he might go further and still find on each side the same number of fingers, the same number of toes, twin eyes, twin ears, twin nostrils, and even twin lobes of the brain. At last he would take it as a law; and then, where he found a heart on one side, would deduce that there was another heart on the other. And just then, where he most felt he was right, he would be wrong. Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. Gardening is civil and social, but it wants the vigor and freedom of the forest and the outlaw. 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