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Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as the earth I just think it's important to be direct and honest with people about why you're photographing them and what you're doing. After all, you are taking some of their soul. Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. If you're going through hell, keep going. The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does. It is unfortunate we can't buy many business executives for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth. If the universe has any purpose more important then topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I have never heard of it Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it Question: I understand that Congress is considering a so-called 'flat' tax system. How would this work? Answer: If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to fill out any complicated forms, and there would be no loopholes for politically connected groups, and normal people would actually understand the tax laws, and giant talking broccoli stalks would come around and mow your lawn for free, because Congress is NOT going to pass a flat tax, you pathetic fool. Money was invented so we could know exactly how much we owe Don't be too harsh to these poems until they're typed. I always think typescript lends some sort of certainty: at least, if the things are bad then, they appear to be bad with conviction. If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves History is an argument without end. It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back. Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. Oratory is the power to talk people out of their sober and natural opinions. One must learn a different... sense of time, one that depends more on small amounts than big ones. The past is never dead, it is not even past. Carry laughter with you wherever you go. We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them. Why is there only one ball for 22 players? If you gave a ball to each of them, they'd stop fighting for it. Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. Call on God, but row away from the rocks. Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. Eggs cannot be unscrambled. If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina. Let's hope the institution of marriage survives its detractors, for without it there would be no more adultery and without adultery two thirds of our novelists would stand in line for unemployment checks. The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than polish. Soul meets soul on lovers' lips. Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. He bites his tongue who speaks in haste. Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future. Most smiles are start by other smiles so smile first. I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. Nations have recently been led to borrow billions for war; no nation has ever borrowed largely for education. Probably, no nation is rich enough to pay for both war and civilization. We must make our choice; we cannot have both. Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate! Business is a combination of war and sport. Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new type program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright. Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds. A photographer gets people to pose for him. A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves. The things we hate about ourselves aren't more real than things we like about ourselves. The most violent element in society is ignorance. Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. Automobiles are not ferocious.... it is man who is to be feared. Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. 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