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inspirational saying funny generated randomly from our collections

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   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
 ~quotes about Money by Earl Wilson

   An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Unfortunately, it is also true that the age's interests often color the past with unhistoric hues.
 ~saying on History by Wendell H. Stephenson

   Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Jean Anouilh

   Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
 ~inspirational by Ambrose Bierce

   Most people are willing to pay more to be amused than to be educated.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Robert C. Savage, Life Lessons

   ...a final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works
 ~quotes about Patriot Day by T.E. Kalem

   Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Mark Twain

   Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless.
 ~saying on Civilization by B.F.Skinner

   Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Lao Tzu

   Suppose some mathematical creature from the moon were to reckon up the human body; he would at once see that the essential thing about it was that it was duplicate. A man is two men, he on the right exactly resembling him on the left. Having noted that there was an arm on the right and one on the left, a leg on the right and one on the left, he might go further and still find on each side the same number of fingers, the same number of toes, twin eyes, twin ears, twin nostrils, and even twin lobes of the brain. At last he would take it as a law; and then, where he found a heart on one side, would deduce that there was another heart on the other. And just then, where he most felt he was right, he would be wrong.
 ~inspirational by Gilbert Keith Chesterton, The Paradoxes of Christianity, Orthodoxy

   Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Rita Rudner

   Gardening is civil and social, but it wants the vigor and freedom of the forest and the outlaw.
 ~quotes about Gardens by Henry David Thoreau

   Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Helen Rowland

   I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge
 ~saying on Women's Greetings by Paula Poundstone

   O great spirit, never let me find fault with anyone until I have walked two weeks in his moccasins. Any fool can criticize and most fools do. No training needed.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Indian

   Recognize meat for what it really is: the antibiotic- and pesticide-laden corpse of a tortured animal.
 ~inspirational by Ingrid Newkirk, National Director of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

   The wastebasket is a writer's best friend.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Isaac Bashevis Singer

   Minorities are the stars of the firmament; majorities, the darkness in which they float.
 ~quotes about Conformity by Martin H. Fischer

   The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time.
 ~inspirational saying funny by David Shoup

   You take my life when you do take the means whereby I live.
 ~saying on Unemployment by William Shakespeare

   God doesn't measure His bounty, but oh how we do!
 ~inspirational saying funny by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
 ~inspirational by Winston Churchill

   A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time.
 ~sayings about inspirational by William C. Feather

   It’s impure thoughts that produce the secretions that create passion.
 ~quotes about Happiness by

   Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
 ~inspirational saying funny by

   I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam
 ~saying on Y by 0

   I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves - such an ethical basis I call more proper for a herd of swine. The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Albert Einstein, What I Believe, Forum and Century, 1930

   The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him?
 ~inspirational by Chuang Tzu

   Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Rita Rudner

   Friendship is Love, without his wings.
 ~quotes about Friendship by Lord Byron, L'Amitié est l'Amour sans Ailes

   Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

   I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich
 ~saying on Mothers Day by M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

   Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Daniele Vare

   In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences.
 ~inspirational by Robert Greene Ingersoll, The New Testament, Some Reasons Why, 1881

   The happiness which is lacking makes one think even the happiness one has unbearable.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Joseph Roux

   I hate music, especially when it's played.
 ~quotes about Funny Saying by Jimmy Durante

   Children have more need of models than of critics.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Carolyn Coats, Things Your Dad Always Told You But You Didn't Want to Hear

   I don't rent space to anyone in my head.
 ~saying on Conformity by Anonymous man on Candid Camera, answering Allen Funt's question about why he had not gotten upset

   The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.
 ~inspirational saying funny by John Madden

   I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker.
 ~inspirational by Voltaire

   If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Haim Ginott

   For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But here was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that this was my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there
is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way
 ~quotes about Happiness by Alfred D Souza

   That's the classical mind at work, runs fine inside but looks dingy on the surface.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Robert T. Pirsig

   [A]ll deities reside in the human breast.
 ~saying on Religion by William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

   Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man, however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giantized cankers of cities, false opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant.
 ~inspirational saying funny by R.A. Lafferty, written in the late 1800s, as quoted in Adbusters, Spring 1996

   Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.
 ~inspirational by Babatunde Olatunji

   The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Tommy Smothers

   A straight path never leads anywhere except to the objective.
 ~quotes about Goals by Andre Gide

   Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell
 ~inspirational saying funny by Emily Dickinson, "Parting"

   The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
 ~saying on Marriage by H.L. Mencken

   In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Robert Benchley

   A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to.
 ~inspirational by Louis J. Camuti

   Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
 ~sayings about inspirational by Elbert Hubbard

   Let new thought make you a new man. Be you renewed by the renewing of your mind.
 ~quotes about Maturing Altruistically by

   A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Marian Sandmaier

   HELP: The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the Help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning a damn thing
 ~saying on Computers by Computer

   A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.
 ~inspirational saying funny by Carl Sandburg

   I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I canI want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live
 ~inspirational by George Bernard Shaw


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