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If wisdom and diamonds grew on the same tree we could soon tell how much men loved wisdom. Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. America is a tuneIt must be sung together I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. Memory itself is an internal rumour. The best things said come last. People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart. Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own Forgiving saves the high cost of anger and the higher cost of hating. Faith is courage; it is creative while despair is always destructive. Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. They say genes skip generations. Maybe that's why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable. How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born. Man is an intelligence in servitude to his organs. He fed his spirit with the bread of books. Human destiny is bound to remain a gamble, because at some unpredictable time and in some unforeseeable manner nature will strike back. A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave Death ends a life, not a relationship Who sees all beings in his own Self, and his own Self in all beings, loses all fear. Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage. Invent a past for the present. It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterwards. Scrapbooking fills my days - not to mention my living room, bedroom and closets! Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still. The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it? God made everything out of nothing. But the nothingness shows through. You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda. Bass fishermen watch Monday night football, drink beer, drive pickup trucks and prefer noisy women with big breasts. Trout fishermen watch MacNeil-Lehrer, drink white wine, drive foreign cars with passenger-side air bags and hardly think about women at all. This last characteristic may have something to do with the fact that trout fishermen spend most of the time immersed up to the thighs in ice-cold water. If food is your best friend, it's also your worst enemy. No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment. Prejudices subsist in people's imagination long after they have been destroyed by their experience. Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action. Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing Embraceable You in spats. Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. Wait, I just remembered something! You're boring and my legs work A free press can be good or bad, but, most certainly, without freedom a press will never be anything but bad. A leader or a man of action in a crisis almost always acts subconsciously and then thinks of the reasons for his action. Go ahead and squander your chi. But I guarantee you heaven isn't in Miss March's pussy.... Heaven is on the other side of that feeling you get when you're sitting on the couch and you get up and make a triple-decker sandwich. It's on the other side of that, when you don't make the sandwich. It's about sacrifice.... It's about giving up the things that basically keep you from feeling. That's what I believe, anyway. I'm always asking, What am I going to give up next? Because I want to feel. I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. It is easy to understand God as long as you don't try to explain him. The purpose of life is a life of purpose. Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known Inspiration: a peculiar effect of divine flatulence emitted by the Holy Spirit which hisses into the ears of a few chosen of God. If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from? Suppose, however, that God did give this law to the Jews, and did tell them that whenever a man preached a heresy, or proposed to worship any other God that they should kill him; and suppose that afterward this same God took upon himself flesh, and came to this very chosen people and taught a different religion, and that thereupon the Jews crucified him; I ask you, did he not reap exactly what he had sown? What right would this god have to complain of a crucifixion suffered in accordance with his own command? Never measure your progress by your income, but by your bank account. Remember the man in the mirror at 70 or 80. Buying a Nikon doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner. Enjoy present pleasures in such a way as not to injure future ones Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. 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