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good funny quotes generated randomly from our collections

inspirational message and poem,famous italian sayings,famous golf quote,better democracy famous saying,funny yearbook quote,

   The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.
 ~quotes about Living by Abraham Maslow

   California, that advance post of our civilization, with its huge aircraft factories, TV and film studios, automobile way of life... its flavourless cosmopolitanism, its charlatan philosophies and religions, its lack of anything old and well-tried rooted in tradition and character.
 ~good funny quotes by J.B. Priestley

   To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
 ~saying on Anger by William H. Walton

   What a country calls its vital... interests are not things that help its people live, but things that help it make war. Petroleum is a more likely cause of international conflict than wheat.
 ~good funny quotes by Simone Weil, Ecrits historiques et politiques, 1960

   If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people.
 ~funny by Karel C(apek

   Never eat more than you can lift.
 ~sayings about funny by Miss Piggy

   When Steve and I die, we are going to be buried in the same cemetery, 60-feet 6-inches apart.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Tim McCarver, who caught all of Steve Carlton's games, 1977

   If your dreams turn to dust....vacuum
 ~good funny quotes by Unknown

   It's terrifying to see someone inside of whom a vital spring seems to have been broken. It's particularly terrifying to see him in your mirror.
 ~saying on Self-Discovery by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Hope is grief's best music.
 ~good funny quotes by Author Unknown

   The Grand Canyon is carven deep by the master hand; it is the gulf of silence, widened in the desert; it is all time inscribing the naked rock; it is the book of earth.
 ~funny by Donald Culross Peattie, The Road of a Naturalist, 1941

   Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
 ~sayings about funny by Henry David Thoreau, Walden

   Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel.
 ~quotes about Flowers by The Washington Post

   Our government has become too responsive to trivial or ephemeral concerns, often at the expense of more important concerns or an erosion of our liberty, and it has made policy priorities more dependent on where TV journalists happen to point their cameras.... As a nation we have lost our sense of tragedy, a recognition that bad things happen to good people. A nation that expects the government to prevent churches from burning, to control the price of bread or gasoline, to secure every job, and to find some villain for every dramatic accident, risks an even larger loss of life and liberty.
 ~good funny quotes by William A. Niskanen, For a Less Responsive Government, Cato Policy Report, 1996

   If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while
 ~saying on Party Invitations by Joseph Schenck

   The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart.
 ~good funny quotes by Iris Murdoch, The Red and the Green

   Jealousy is the great exaggerator.
 ~funny by Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Conspiracy of Fiesco, 1783

   Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down
 ~sayings about funny by Phyllis Diller

   America is just the country that shows how all the written guarantees in the world for freedom are no protection against tyranny and oppression of the worst kind. There the politician has come to be looked upon as the very scum of society.
 ~quotes about America by Peter Kroptkin, speech, 1891

   The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself.
 ~good funny quotes by Edward Bulwer-Lytton

   The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.
 ~saying on Wisdoms by Ayn Rand

   A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.
 ~good funny quotes by Douglas Pagels

   We're all born brave, trusting, and greedy, and most of us remain greedy.
 ~funny by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spreadThe sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come near
 ~sayings about funny by Rebecca Harding Davis

   I think it's bad to talk about one's present work, for it spoils something at the root of the creative act. It discharges the tension.
 ~quotes about Writing by Norman Mailer

   I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it
 ~good funny quotes by Mark Twain

   All great work is preparing yourself for the accident to happen.
 ~saying on Opportunities by Sidney Lumet

   Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into.
 ~good funny quotes by Henry Beecher, Life Thoughts, 1858

   Without the rain, sunshine wouldnt be so appreciated
 ~funny by Not Sure

   We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.
 ~sayings about funny by William Ewart Gladstone

   We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.
 ~quotes about Books Reading by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
 ~good funny quotes by Erma Bombeck

   To teach is to learn twice.
 ~saying on Teachers by Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842

   Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
 ~good funny quotes by Abraham Lincoln

   Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.
 ~funny by Charles W. Eliot

   Hunger is the best sauce in the world.
 ~sayings about funny by Cervantes

   Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning
 ~quotes about Freedom by Frederick Douglass

   Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.
 ~good funny quotes by John De Paola

   Every mile is two in winter
 ~saying on Groundhog Day by George Herbert

   A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
 ~good funny quotes by Lao-Tzu

   He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation... For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent.... We, therefore... solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States.
 ~funny by The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies, 1776

   Better have a friend who does both good and evil, than one who does neither.
 ~sayings about funny by

   Money is important, but I don't want to spend all my life working for it
 ~quotes about Financial by Robert Kiyosaki

   I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
 ~good funny quotes by Agatha Christie

   A book is a garden, an orchard, a storehouse, a party, a company by the way, a counsellor, a multitude of counsellors.
 ~saying on Books Reading by Henry Ward Beecher

   Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.
 ~good funny quotes by Roger Miller

   The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week
 ~funny by Robert Frost

   Men are probably nearer the central truth in their superstitions than in their science.
 ~sayings about funny by Henry David Thoreau

   Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
 ~quotes about Goals by T.S. Eliot

   I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant.
 ~good funny quotes by Ursula K. Le Guin, The Language of the Night

   A dream is a microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our soul.
 ~saying on Dreams by Erich Fromm (Thank you, Sarah.)

   If at first you do succeed - try to hide your astonishment.
 ~good funny quotes by Author Unknown

   True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes, but the firm resolve of virtue and reason
 ~funny by Alfred North Whitehead

   May your love be filled with life and may your life be filled with love.
 ~sayings about funny by

   The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be.
 ~quotes about Speaking by Edgar Allan Poe

   Wanna make God laugh? Plan your future
 ~good funny quotes by Unknown

   It actually giggles at you as it goes by.
 ~saying on Baseball by Rick Monday, on Phil Niekro's knuckleball, quoted in Sports Illustrated, 1 August 1983

   Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.
 ~good funny quotes by The Women's Petition Against Coffee, 1674

   Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events.
 ~funny by E.T. Cy Eberhart


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