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The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's. It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like. May you have warm words on a cool evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother. Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an antigay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole. Christmas, children, is not a dateIt is a state of mind One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me. The jealous bring down the curse they fear upon their own heads. Love is not consolation. It is light. One dog barks at something, and a hundred bark at the bark. Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety. Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. Freedom is the oxygen of the soul The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down. Who can hope to be safe? who sufficiently cautious? Guard himself as he may, every moment's an ambush. Expect an early death - it will keep you busier. First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. Can we actually know the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini? Life is its own journey, presupposes its own change and movement, and one tries to arrest them at one's eternal peril. Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up. Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work a company work, a society work, a civilization work No one person can possibly combine all the elements supposed to make up what everyone means by friendship When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough. A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. But the freedom that they fought for, and the country grand they wrought for,Is their monument to-day, and for aye. There are natures that go to the streams of life in great cities as the hart goes to the water brooks. The moment a man claims a right to control the will of a fellow being by physical force, he is at heart a slaveholder. Your life is something opaque, not transparent, as long as you look at it in an ordinary human way. But if you hold it up against the light of God's goodness, it shines and turns transparent, radiant and bright. And then you ask yourself in amazement: Is this really my own life I see before me? I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church. Tomorrow is no place to place your better days. Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it. One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. If man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live Those who have compared our life to a dream were right.... We sleeping wake, and waking sleep. Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust - we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper. Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey. Consider what you think justice requires, and decide accordingly. But never give your reasons; for your judgment will probably be right, but your reasons will certainly be wrong. If you call a thing bad you do little, if you call a thing good you do much. Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly. He that will have a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless. Work isn't to make money; you work to justify life. Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on. 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