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funny work quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   War is never a solution; it is an aggravation.
 ~quotes about War by Benjamin Disraeli

   Walking isn't a lost art - one must, by some means, get to the garage.
 ~funny work quotes by Evan Esar

   I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death
 ~saying on Business by Thomas Paine

   Our ideals, like the gods of old, are constantly demanding human sacrifices.
 ~funny work quotes by George Bernard Shaw

   But you don't have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do.
 ~work by Sam Snead, to Ted Williams, arguing which was more difficult, to hit a moving baseball or a stationa

   Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or Pure consciousness without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity.
 ~sayings about work by Swami Sivananda

   God's last name is not Dammit.
 ~quotes about God by Author Unknown

   If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal
 ~funny work quotes by Emma Goldman

   Emotion turning back on itself, and not leading on to thought or action, is the element of madness.
 ~saying on Emotions by John Sterling

   A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
 ~funny work quotes by Ella Harris

   A hundred hearts would be too few, To carry all my love for you.
 ~work by Author Unknown

   The tie which links mother and child is of such pure and immaculate strength as to be never violated.
 ~sayings about work by Washington Irving

   Men grow old, pearls grow yellow, there is no cure for it.
 ~quotes about Chinese Saying by Chinese Proverb

   God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you?
 ~funny work quotes by William A. Ward

   In your heart, keep one still secret spot where dreams may go and be sheltered so they may thrive and grow
 ~saying on Dreams by Louise Driscoll

   The triumph of machine over people.
 ~funny work quotes by Fred Allen, about television

   What was any art but a mould in which to imprison for a moment the shining elusive element which is life itself - life hurrying past us and running away, too strong to stop, too sweet to lose.
 ~work by Willa Cather

   Tongue - a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of a dead cow.
 ~sayings about work by Bob Ekstrom

   Never judge a book by its movie.
 ~quotes about Books Reading by J.W. Eagan

   In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing
 ~funny work quotes by Robert Ingersoll

   No one remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.
 ~saying on Self-Discovery by Thomas Mann

   There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
 ~funny work quotes by George Santayana, War Shrines, Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies, 1922

   Almsgiving tends to perpetuate poverty; aid does away with it once and for all.
 ~work by Eva Perón

   Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.
 ~sayings about work by Carl Sandburg, New York Times, 13 February 1959

   Blondes hav more fun but brunettes can read
 ~quotes about Attitude by

   Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear three - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.
 ~funny work quotes by Edward Everett Hale

   Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.
 ~saying on Art by John Anthony Ciardi

   The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
 ~funny work quotes by Lynn Lavner

   The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
 ~work by E. Joseph Cossman

   You should have ten penthouses in ten Park Avenue buildings and in each one you should have a gorgeous blonde waiting to do your every wish and in front of each of these ten buildings you should have a Rolls Royce with a chauffeur and every morning you should get into each car and your chauffeur should drive you to a different doctor and not one doctor should know what's wrong with you
 ~sayings about work by Yiddish Curse

   The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.
 ~quotes about Failure by Lloyd Jones

   Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it.
 ~funny work quotes by Hannah Arendt

   A room without a book is like a body without a soul.
 ~saying on Attitude by Marcus Tullius Cicero

   There are some remedies worse than the disease.
 ~funny work quotes by Publilius Syrus

   One might be asked How can you prove that a god does not exist? One can only reply that it is scarcely necessary to disprove what has never been proved.
 ~work by David A. Spitz

   Your Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquidsThis attraction is strongest just before an important meeting
 ~sayings about work by Scott Adams

   Money is human happiness in the abstract: he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes his heart entirely to money
 ~quotes about Money by Arthur Schopenhauer

   The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.
 ~funny work quotes by William Safire

   I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription
 ~saying on Get Well Soon by Finley Peter Dunne

   The ability and inclination to use physical strength is no indication of bravery or tenacity to life. The greatest cowards are often the greatest bullies. Nothing is cheaper and more common than physical bravery.
 ~funny work quotes by Clarence Darrow, Resist Not Evil

   Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
 ~work by G.B. Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionists, 1898

   Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
 ~sayings about work by Author Unknown

   One kind word can warm three winter months.
 ~quotes about Winter by Japanese Proverb

   The groves were God's first temples.
 ~funny work quotes by William Cullen Bryant, A Forest Hymn

   In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
 ~saying on Language by Mark Twain

   Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head, and knows not that it brings abundance to drive away the hunger.
 ~funny work quotes by Saint Basil

   I try to teach my heart not to want things it can't have.
 ~work by Alice Walker

   Fare thee well! and if for ever,Still for ever, fare thee well.
 ~sayings about work by Lord Byron

   Through dancing many maidens have been unmaidened, whereby I may say it is the storehouse and nursery of bastardy.
 ~quotes about Dancing by John Northbrooke

   It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
 ~funny work quotes by Leo Tolstoy

   Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
 ~saying on Grammar by Mark Twain

   Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end.
 ~funny work quotes by Max Eastman

   A lake carries you into recesses of feeling otherwise impenetrable.
 ~work by William Wordsworth

   The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway
 ~sayings about work by Henry Boye

   The greatest discoveries of science have always been those that forced us to rethink our beliefs about the universe and our place in it
 ~quotes about Columbus Day by Robert L. Park, in The New York Times, 7 December 1999

   When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.
 ~funny work quotes by Chinese Proverb

   For me, yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself.
 ~saying on Yoga by Mary Glover, Health Profile: Yoga leaves aches and pains behind, Arizona Republic, 6 April 2004 (pag

   The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man's natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future.
 ~funny work quotes by Franz Rosenthal, Gambling in Islam, 1975

   Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.
 ~work by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


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