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funny witty quote generated randomly from our collections

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   Until we extend the circle of our compassion to all living things, we will not ourselves find peace.
 ~quotes about Compassion by Albert Schweitzer

   Love is also like a coconut which is good while it is fresh, but you have to spit it out when the juice is gone, what's left tastes bitter
 ~funny witty quote by Bertolt Brecht

   But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
 ~saying on Life by Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum

   Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning, you get off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking.
 ~funny witty quote by Gene Mauch

   Education should be exercise; it has become massage.
 ~witty by Martin H. Fischer

   Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier.
 ~sayings about witty by Author Unknown

   Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
 ~quotes about Sex by Woody Allen

   America is another name for opportunityOur whole history appears like a last effort of divine providence on behalf of the human race
 ~funny witty quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   A machine has value only as it produces more than it consumes - so check your value to the community.
 ~saying on Community by Martin H. Fischer

   It is better to be bold than too circumspect, because fortune is of a sex which likes not a tardy wooer and repulses all who are not ardent.
 ~funny witty quote by Machiavelli

   The Game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears and score your points when you get the opportunity
 ~witty by

   I enjoy waking up and not having to go to workSo I do it three or four times a day
 ~sayings about witty by Gene Perret

   Democracy: The state of affairs in which you consent to having your pocket picked, and elect the best man to do it
 ~quotes about Election Day by Benjamin Lichtenberg

   Most of us believe in trying to make other people happy only if they can be happy in ways which we approve.
 ~funny witty quote by Robert S. Lynd

   Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one
 ~saying on Money by Benjamin Franklin

   A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
 ~funny witty quote by Chauncey Mitchell Depew

   The sun, the moon and the stars would have disappeared long ago... had they happened to be within the reach of predatory human hands.
 ~witty by Havelock Ellis, The Dance of Life, 1923

   Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.
 ~sayings about witty by Author Unknown

   The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition.
 ~quotes about Environment by Carl Sagan

   If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
 ~funny witty quote by Source Unknown

   Reading about baseball is a lot more interesting than reading about chess, but you have to wonder: Don't any of these guys ever go fishing?
 ~saying on Fishing by Dave Shiflett, quoted in Houston Chronicle, 29 April 1990

   It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
 ~funny witty quote by Aristotle

   When your suffering is a little greater than my suffering I feel that I am a little cruel.
 ~witty by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   He is also partly idle who could be better employed.
 ~sayings about witty by

   One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man.
 ~quotes about Feminism by Marlo Thomas

   For me, in fact, the mark of the historic is the nonchalance with which it picks up an individual and deposits him in a trend, like a house playfully moved by a tornado.
 ~funny witty quote by Mary McCarthy, On the Contrary

   Public opinion... requires us to think other men's thoughts, to speak other men's words, to follow other men's habits.
 ~saying on Conformity by Walter Bagehot, Biographical Studies, 1907

   The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
 ~funny witty quote by Thomas Jefferson

   In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.
 ~witty by Bill Cosby, Fatherhood, 1986

   Never mistake motion for action.
 ~sayings about witty by Ernest Hemingway

   Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction
 ~quotes about Commitment Ceremonies by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

   When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them
 ~funny witty quote by Chinese Proverb

   Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.
 ~saying on Wise Words by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

   Be sincere; be brief; be seated.
 ~funny witty quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt, on speechmaking

   There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.
 ~witty by Freya Stark, The Journey's Echo

   There is precious little hope to be got out of whatever keeps us industrious, but there is a chance for us whenever we cease work and become stargazers
 ~sayings about witty by H.M. Tomlinson

   To exaggerate is to weaken.
 ~quotes about Exaggeration by Jean François de La Harpe, Melanie, 1770

   Love does not care to define and is never in a hurry to do so.
 ~funny witty quote by Charles du Bos

   Can anyone remember when times were not hard and money was scare?
 ~saying on Financial by

   Man performs and engenders so much more than he can or should have to bear. That's how he finds that he can bear anything.
 ~funny witty quote by William Faulkner

   Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
 ~witty by William Arthur Ward

   All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness.
 ~sayings about witty by Mark Kennedy

   Coolidge was known for his terse speech and reticence. A woman bet her friend that she could get Coolidge to speak to her, which was something he was reluctant to do. She went up to him and said: Hello, Mr. President, I bet my friend that I could get you to say three words to me. You lose, Coolidge replied dryly, and walked away.
 ~quotes about Insults by Author Unknown

   It is only by softening and disguising dead flesh by culinary preparation that it is rendered susceptible of mastication or digestion, and that the sight of its bloody juices and raw horror does not excite intolerable loathing and disgust.
 ~funny witty quote by Percy Bysshe Shelley, Queen Mab Notes

   When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn
 ~saying on Hang in There by Harriet Beecher Stowe

   It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace.
 ~funny witty quote by Christopher Morley

   We're Americans - with a capital A! And do you know what that means? Do you? It means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.
 ~witty by From the movie Stripes

   If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.
 ~sayings about witty by Malcolm X

   This nation was built by men who took risks - pioneers who were not afraid of the wilderness, business men who were not afraid of failure, scientists who were not afraid of the truth, thinkers who were not afraid of progress, dreamers who were not afraid of action.
 ~quotes about Risk by Brooks Atkinson

    Hungry not only for bread -- but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing -- but naked for human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks -- but homeless because of rejection.
 ~funny witty quote by Mother Teresa

   Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
 ~saying on Summer by Erma Bombeck

   It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness.
 ~funny witty quote by Cicero

   No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
 ~witty by Ambrose Bierce

   He who travels in search of something which he has not got, travels away from himself and grows old even in youth among old things.
 ~sayings about witty by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

   The fireworks begin todayEach diploma is a lighted matchEach one of you is a fuse
 ~quotes about Graduation by Edward Koch

   I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies' hands - after all, one must start somewhere.
 ~funny witty quote by Sacha Guitry

   Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.
 ~saying on Carpe Diem by Ruth Ann Schabacker

   Most unhappy and frustrated people are that way because they’re trying to do something nature didn’t equip them for.
 ~funny witty quote by

   When you're a young man, Macbeth is a character part. When you're older, it's a straight part.
 ~witty by Laurence Olivier


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