funny wise sayings and quotations on wise sayings

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funny wise sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   The wise man in the storm prays God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear.
 ~quotes about Fear by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals, 1833

   I've left Bethlehem, and I feel free. I've left the girl I was supposed to be, and some day I'll be born.
 ~funny wise sayings by Paula Cole, Tiger, This Fire

   Your mind works very simply: you are either trying to find out what are God's laws in order to follow them; or you are trying to outsmart Him.
 ~saying on God by Martin H. Fischer

   How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strongBecause someday in your life you will have been all of these
 ~funny wise sayings by George Washington Carver

   The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road.
 ~wise by Angelo Patri

   Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need to do is start the war on education. If it's anywhere near as successful as our war on drugs, in no time we'll all be hooked on phonics.
 ~sayings about wise by Leighann Lord

   All that I know I learned after I was thirty.
 ~quotes about Experience. by Georges Clemenceau

   Instruction ends in the schoolroom, where real education starts.
 ~funny wise sayings by

   Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.
 ~saying on Golf by Author Unknown

   When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.
 ~funny wise sayings by Louis Nizer

   I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.
 ~wise by Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

   They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers.
 ~sayings about wise by James G. Watt, quoted in Newsweek, 8 March 1982

   Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
 ~quotes about Changes by Irene Peter

   Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
 ~funny wise sayings by Anton Chekhov

   If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.
 ~saying on Gratitude by Robert Quillen

   You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay?
 ~funny wise sayings by Dennis Miller

   Can we conceive what humanity would be if it did not know the flowers?
 ~wise by Maurice Maeterlinck

   The shortest answer is doing.
 ~sayings about wise by Lord Herbert

   To feel keenly the poetry of a morning's roses, one has to have just escaped from the claws of this vulture which we call sickness.
 ~quotes about Health by Henri Frederic Amiel

   You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind-legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.
 ~funny wise sayings by Max Beerbohm

   Democracy is an experiment, and the right of the majority to rule is no more inherent than the right of the minority to rule; and unless the majority represents sans, righteous, unselfish public sentiment, it has no inherent right.
 ~saying on Government by William Allen White

   Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul.
 ~funny wise sayings by Henry Van Dyke, The Prison and the Angel

   You see, eventually your music will help put an end to war and poverty, it will align the planets and bring them into universal harmony, allowing meaningful contact with all forms of life
 ~wise by George Carlin

   A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts.
 ~sayings about wise by Colette

   That ephemeral sheet,... the newspaper, is the natural enemy of the book, as the whore is of the decent woman.
 ~quotes about Media Journalism by E. and J. de Goncourt, Journal, July 1858

   You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough.
 ~funny wise sayings by Frank Crane

   If you are serious about success, you’ll make GOAL SETTING your first love and SELF MASTERY your second.
 ~saying on Success by

   It is always the secure who are humble.
 ~funny wise sayings by Gilbert Keith Chesterton

   Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.
 ~wise by Stella Adler

   Without general elections, without unrestricted freedom of press and assembly, without a free struggle of opinion, life dies out in every public institution, becomes a mere semblance of life, in which only the bureaucracy remains as the active element
 ~sayings about wise by Rosa Luxemburg

   It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.
 ~quotes about Self Discipline by Aesop

   O, she is the antidote to desire.
 ~funny wise sayings by William Congreve, Love for Love, 1695

   A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
 ~saying on Jobs by Fats Domino

   Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.
 ~funny wise sayings by Italian Proverb

   Our faults are more readily forgiven than our obvious efforts to hide them.
 ~wise by

   A man may fall many times, but he won't be a failure until he says that someone pushed him.
 ~sayings about wise by Elmer G. Letterman

   Dodging and burning are steps to take care of mistakes God made in establishing tonal relationships.
 ~quotes about Photography by Ansel Adams

   Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children
 ~funny wise sayings by Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family

   Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
 ~saying on Golf by Tommy Armour

   War is never a solution; it is an aggravation.
 ~funny wise sayings by Benjamin Disraeli

   Walking isn't a lost art - one must, by some means, get to the garage.
 ~wise by Evan Esar

   I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death
 ~sayings about wise by Thomas Paine

   Our ideals, like the gods of old, are constantly demanding human sacrifices.
 ~quotes about Ideals by George Bernard Shaw

   But you don't have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do.
 ~funny wise sayings by Sam Snead, to Ted Williams, arguing which was more difficult, to hit a moving baseball or a stationa

   Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or Pure consciousness without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity.
 ~saying on Meditation by Swami Sivananda

   God's last name is not Dammit.
 ~funny wise sayings by Author Unknown

   If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal
 ~wise by Emma Goldman

   Emotion turning back on itself, and not leading on to thought or action, is the element of madness.
 ~sayings about wise by John Sterling

   A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
 ~quotes about Men by Ella Harris

   A hundred hearts would be too few, To carry all my love for you.
 ~funny wise sayings by Author Unknown

   The tie which links mother and child is of such pure and immaculate strength as to be never violated.
 ~saying on Mothers by Washington Irving

   Men grow old, pearls grow yellow, there is no cure for it.
 ~funny wise sayings by Chinese Proverb

   God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you?
 ~wise by William A. Ward

   In your heart, keep one still secret spot where dreams may go and be sheltered so they may thrive and grow
 ~sayings about wise by Louise Driscoll

   The triumph of machine over people.
 ~quotes about Television by Fred Allen, about television

   What was any art but a mould in which to imprison for a moment the shining elusive element which is life itself - life hurrying past us and running away, too strong to stop, too sweet to lose.
 ~funny wise sayings by Willa Cather

   Tongue - a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of a dead cow.
 ~saying on Vegetarianism by Bob Ekstrom

   Never judge a book by its movie.
 ~funny wise sayings by J.W. Eagan

   In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing
 ~wise by Robert Ingersoll


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