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funny tv quote generated randomly from our collections

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   Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.
 ~quotes about Spring by W. Earl Hall

   Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it.
 ~funny tv quote by From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off

   Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker
 ~saying on I Love You by Author Unknown

   Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
 ~funny tv quote by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

   We cannot carry our father's corpse with us everywhere we go.
 ~tv by Guillaume Apollinaire, The Cubist Painters, 1913

   Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress.
 ~sayings about tv by Author Unknown

   Nothing risqué, nothing gained.
 ~quotes about Sex by Alexander Woollcott

   Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.
 ~funny tv quote by Orson Rega Card

   I cannot forget my mother. [S]he is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely.
 ~saying on Mothers by Renita Weems

   Never set a standar in the love your looking for coz you'll end up eating your words. For love comes with the unlikely person and if you ask God why? He will answer: LOVE JUST MOVES IN A MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!
 ~funny tv quote by Judith >"'<

   Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?
 ~tv by Pierre Troubetzkoy

   I would not exchange my leisure hours for all the wealth in the world.
 ~sayings about tv by Comte de Mirabeau

   Good habits are hard to acquire but easy to live with.
 ~quotes about Personality by

   The happiest hours of mankind are recorded on the blank pages of history.
 ~funny tv quote by Thomas Carlyle, Life of Frederick the Great

   I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school.
 ~saying on Parenting by Author Unknown

   What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight.
 ~funny tv quote by Joseph Joubert

   Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day.
 ~tv by Carol Krucoff

   We need an America with the wisdom of experienceBut we must not let America grow old in spirit
 ~sayings about tv by Hubert H. Humphrey

   Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.
 ~quotes about Statistics by William W. Watt

   The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
 ~funny tv quote by Sydney J. Harris

   For every fact there is an infinity of hypotheses.
 ~saying on Science by Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, 1974

   Hair is vitally personal to children. They weep vigorously when it is cut for the first time; no matter how it grows, bushy, straight or curly, they feel they are being shorn of a part of their personality.
 ~funny tv quote by Charles Chaplin, My Autobiography, 1964

   A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
 ~tv by Alexander Pope, in Swift, Miscellanies

   I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
 ~sayings about tv by Bella Abzug

   No rage is equal to the rage of a contented right-thinking man when he is confronted in the marketplace by an idea which belongs in the pulpit.
 ~quotes about Religion by Thurman W. Arnold

   A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
 ~funny tv quote by Paul Valery

   The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely
 ~saying on Baseball by Ted Williams

   If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
 ~funny tv quote by Lily Tomlin

   The first and highest law must be the love of man to man. Homo homini Deus est - this is the supreme practical maxim, this is the turning point of the world's History.
 ~tv by Ludwig Feuerbach, The Essence of Christianity

   For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long?
 ~sayings about tv by Rebecca Harding Davis

   The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
 ~quotes about Personality by Buddha

   Women should be obscene and not heard.
 ~funny tv quote by Groucho Marx

   Courage is a peculiar kind of fear.
 ~saying on Courage by Charles Kennedy

   To waste, to destroy our natural resources, to skin and exhaust the land instead of using it so as to increase its usefulness, will result in undermining in the days of our children the very prosperity which we ought by right to hand down to them amplified and developed.
 ~funny tv quote by Theodore Roosevelt, seventh annual message, 3 December 1907

   When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.
 ~tv by Author Unknown

   America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
 ~sayings about tv by Bobcat Goldthwaite

   Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
 ~quotes about Age by Author Unknown

   There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
 ~funny tv quote by Josh Billings

   I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.
 ~saying on Imagination by Duane Michals, Real Dreams

   If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
 ~funny tv quote by Voltaire

   It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
 ~tv by Buddha

   Fields can lie fallow, but we can't; we have less time.
 ~sayings about tv by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.
 ~quotes about Language by Larry King, about political correctness, How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Go

   For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun. Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian.
 ~funny tv quote by Mabel Maney

   When truth is divided, errors multiply.
 ~saying on Honesty by Eli Siegel, Damned Welcome

   Physics is geometric proof on steroids.
 ~funny tv quote by S. Sachs

   Raising your voice lower your power. Little people talk big. Big ones listen big.
 ~tv by

   After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her - and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.
 ~sayings about tv by Helen Rowland

   A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Joey Adams

   You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out.
 ~funny tv quote by Martha Graham

   If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.
 ~saying on America by Dave Barry

   A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done.
 ~funny tv quote by Author Unknown

   Advertising is an environmental striptease for a world of abundance.
 ~tv by Marshall McLuhan, introduction to Wilson Bryan Key, Subliminal Seduction: Ad Media's Manipulation of

   The past is malleable and flexible, changing as our recollection interprets and re-explains what has happened.
 ~sayings about tv by Peter Berger

   Barbarism is needed every four or five hundred years to bring the world back to life. Otherwise it would die of civilization.
 ~quotes about Civilization by Edmond and Jules de Goncourt, Journal, 3 September 1855

   We are spirits clad in veils.
 ~funny tv quote by Christopher P. Cranch

   It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
 ~saying on Crying by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

   If you just set people in motion they'll heal themselves.
 ~funny tv quote by Gabrielle Roth

   I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.
 ~tv by Jack Tatum


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