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funny tee shirt saying generated randomly from our collections

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   Nobody ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have while trying to write one
 ~quotes about Books by Robert Byrne

   Without labor nothing prospers.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Sophocles

   It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence.
 ~saying on Letters by Jacques Barzun, God's Country and Mine, 1954

   A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Martin H. Fischer

   We're finally going to get the bill for the Industrial Age. If the projections are right, it's going to be a big one: the ecological collapse of the planet.
 ~tee shirt by Jeremy Rifkin, World Press Review, 30 December 1989

   Home is not where you live but where they understand you.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by Christian Morgenstern

   There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope.
 ~quotes about Hope by Edgar Howe

   Desert rains are usually so definitely demarked that the story of the man who washed his hands in the edge of an Arizona thunder shower without wetting his cuffs seems almost credible.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Administration in the State of Arizona, U.S. public relief program, 1935-1943

   Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.
 ~saying on Sex by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   A man who has no office to go to - I don't care who he is - is a trial of which you can have no conception.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by George Bernard Shaw

   [Psychoanalysis] is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
 ~tee shirt by Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts, 1945

   My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, You're tearing up the grass. We're not raising grass, Dad would reply. We're raising boys.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by Harmon Killebrew

   You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job
 ~quotes about For a Friend by Laurence J. Peter

   Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Gerald Vaughan

   I bake all the time, but I don't like to eat the cookies when they're done. I just like the dough
 ~saying on Celebrity by Sharon Stone

   Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Author unknown, supposedly from a Washington Post reader submission word contest in which readers we

   I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
 ~tee shirt by John F. Kennedy

   It has been left to our generation to discover that you can move heaven and earth to save five minutes and then not have the faintest idea what to do with them when you have saved them.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by C.E.M. Joad

   Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote
 ~quotes about Election Day by George Jean Nathan

   To alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Homer Simpson

   You can't fall off the floor.
 ~saying on Philosophical by Author Unknown

   There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself
 ~funny tee shirt saying by John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

   If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
 ~tee shirt by Edgar Watson Howe

   How many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards? You can subtract it as many times as you want, and it leaves 76 every time.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by Author Unknown

   If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
 ~quotes about Smiles by Andy Rooney

   Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Author Unknown

   In Rome you long for the country; in the country - oh inconstant! - you praise the distant city to the stars.
 ~saying on Cities by Horace, Satires

   Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Marcel Proust

   Bread and butter, devoid of charm in the drawing-room, is ambrosia eating under a tree.
 ~tee shirt by Elizabeth Russell

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by Earl Wilson

   An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought.
 ~quotes about Writing by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Unfortunately, it is also true that the age's interests often color the past with unhistoric hues.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Wendell H. Stephenson

   Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.
 ~saying on Gifts by Jean Anouilh

   Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Ambrose Bierce

   Most people are willing to pay more to be amused than to be educated.
 ~tee shirt by Robert C. Savage, Life Lessons

   ...a final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works
 ~sayings about tee shirt by T.E. Kalem

   Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
 ~quotes about Travel by Mark Twain

   Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by B.F.Skinner

   Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
 ~saying on Nature by Lao Tzu

   Suppose some mathematical creature from the moon were to reckon up the human body; he would at once see that the essential thing about it was that it was duplicate. A man is two men, he on the right exactly resembling him on the left. Having noted that there was an arm on the right and one on the left, a leg on the right and one on the left, he might go further and still find on each side the same number of fingers, the same number of toes, twin eyes, twin ears, twin nostrils, and even twin lobes of the brain. At last he would take it as a law; and then, where he found a heart on one side, would deduce that there was another heart on the other. And just then, where he most felt he was right, he would be wrong.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Gilbert Keith Chesterton, The Paradoxes of Christianity, Orthodoxy

   Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
 ~tee shirt by Rita Rudner

   Gardening is civil and social, but it wants the vigor and freedom of the forest and the outlaw.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by Henry David Thoreau

   Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Helen Rowland

   I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Paula Poundstone

   O great spirit, never let me find fault with anyone until I have walked two weeks in his moccasins. Any fool can criticize and most fools do. No training needed.
 ~saying on Indian Saying by Indian

   Recognize meat for what it really is: the antibiotic- and pesticide-laden corpse of a tortured animal.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Ingrid Newkirk, National Director of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

   The wastebasket is a writer's best friend.
 ~tee shirt by Isaac Bashevis Singer

   Minorities are the stars of the firmament; majorities, the darkness in which they float.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by Martin H. Fischer

   The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time.
 ~quotes about Poker by David Shoup

   You take my life when you do take the means whereby I live.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by William Shakespeare

   God doesn't measure His bounty, but oh how we do!
 ~saying on Humankind by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Winston Churchill

   A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time.
 ~tee shirt by William C. Feather

   It’s impure thoughts that produce the secretions that create passion.
 ~sayings about tee shirt by

   Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
 ~quotes about Humor by

   I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam
 ~funny tee shirt saying by 0

   I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves - such an ethical basis I call more proper for a herd of swine. The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.
 ~saying on Integrity by Albert Einstein, What I Believe, Forum and Century, 1930

   The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him?
 ~funny tee shirt saying by Chuang Tzu

   Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
 ~tee shirt by Rita Rudner


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