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funny t shirt saying and picture generated randomly from our collections

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   You know you've reached middle age when a doctor, not a policeman, tells you to slow down, all you exercise are your prerogatives and it takes you longer to rest than to get tired.
 ~quotes about Age by Author Unknown

   Before you consult your wants, consult your purse.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by

   It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes.
 ~saying on Clothing by Henry David Thoreau

   Harmony seldom makes a headline.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Silas Bent

   I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.
 ~t shirt picture by Abraham Lincoln

   Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Diogenes

   Some people say soccer's a matter of life or death, but it isn't. It's much more important than that.
 ~quotes about Soccer by Variation of a famous saying

   Have you hugged yourself today?
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Anonymous

   There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's.
 ~saying on Weather by Clyde Moore

   Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Chinese Proverb

   To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful.
 ~t shirt picture by Agnes De Mille

   Put a grain of boldness into everything you do.
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Baltasar Gracian

   Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind.
 ~quotes about Honesty by Austin O'Malley

   Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by H.L. Mencken, 1956

   ...this planet is covered with sordid men who demand that he who spends time fishing shall show returns in fish.
 ~saying on Fishing by Leonidas Hubbard, Jr.

   Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Paul Boese

   I also realized that the philosophers, far from ridding me of my vain doubts, only multiplied the doubts that tormented me and failed to remove any one of them. So I chose another guide and said, Let me follow the Inner Light; it will not lead me so far astray as others have done, or if it does it will be my own fault, and I shall not go so far wrong if I follow my own illusions as if I trusted to their deceits.
 ~t shirt picture by Jean Jacques Rousseau

   A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by George Rosenbaum

   It seemed to be a necessary ritual that he should prepare himself for sleep by meditating under the solemnity of the night sky... a mysterious transaction between the infinity of the soul and the infinity of the universe.
 ~quotes about Night by Victor Hugo

   It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary be rich
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Alan Alda

   Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.
 ~saying on Courage by Michel de Montaigne

   My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Ellen DeGeneres

   To find and fill his right place is success for everyone.
 ~t shirt picture by

   I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Elaine Boosler

   Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying(Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more oftenUsually it makes the kid laughSometimes it s
 ~quotes about Mothers Day by P.J. O'Rourke

   I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Erma Bombeck

   The finest clothing made is a person's skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
 ~saying on Clothing by Mark Twain

   Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by H.H. Breaker Morant

   The clearer you are about the consequences of your actions and the more intensely you desire to enjoy the consequences that your behaviors may lead to, the more motivated you will be.
 ~t shirt picture by Brian Tracy

   Scientific discovery consists in the interpretation for our own convenience of a system of existence which has been made with no eye to our convenience at all.
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Norbert Wiener, The Human Use of Human Beings, 1950

   Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle; Old Age a regret.
 ~quotes about Curmudgeons by Benjamin Disraeli, Coningsby

   Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973

   When we're unemployed, we're called lazy; when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression.
 ~saying on Racism by Jesse Jackson

   The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Robert Graves

   I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.
 ~t shirt picture by Jennifer Greene Duncan

   I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them?
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Leo Durocher

   Life begins at retirement
 ~quotes about Retirement by Author Unknown

   Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Author Unknown

   Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable
 ~saying on Unity by Kenyan Proverb

   Every day you guys look worse and worse. And today you played like tomorrow.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by John Mariucci

   To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
 ~t shirt picture by A.A. Milne

   A ballplayer spends a good piece of his life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Jim Bouton

   The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
 ~quotes about Listening by Peter F. Drucker

   Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel.... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man - with his mouth.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Mark Twain

   Your body is built for walking.
 ~saying on Walking by Gary Yanker

   The great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Albert Schweitzer

   Great things are done when men and mountains meet. This is not done by jostling in the street.
 ~t shirt picture by William Blake

   The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Buddha

   Our modern industrial economy takes a mountain covered with trees, lakes, running streams and transforms it into a mountain of junk, garbage, slime pits, and debris.
 ~quotes about Environment by Edward Abbey

   There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Walt Streightiff

   Most people who possess anything like an acre, or half of it, contribute weekly to the support of a gentleman known as Jobbing Gardener. You are warned of the danger that he may prove to be Garden Pest no 1.
 ~saying on Gardens by C.E. Lucas-Phillips, The New Small Garden

   The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by English Proverb

   The best and most efficient pharmacy is within your own system.
 ~t shirt picture by Robert C. Peale

   The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work
 ~sayings about t shirt picture by Harry Golden

   We are happy when for everything inside us there is a corresponding something outside us.
 ~quotes about Self by W.B. Yeats

   Ladies, here's a hint. If you're up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Billie Jean King

   Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.
 ~saying on Poverty by Norman Vincent Peale

   The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes.
 ~funny t shirt saying and picture by Agatha Christie

   It is not the employer who pays the wages. He only handles the money. It is the product that pays the wages.
 ~t shirt picture by Henry Ford, 1922, also sometimes quoted as It is the customer that pays the wages


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