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funny sports quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor.
 ~quotes about Civilization by Arnold Toynbee

   The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.
 ~funny sports quotes by Tacitus, Annals

   You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
 ~saying on Society by Earl Wilson

   If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody.
 ~funny sports quotes by J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye

   If you hate your lot but wouldn't trade it, it's not your lot you hate.
 ~sports by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   I take it that what all men are really after is some form of, perhaps only some formula of, peace.
 ~sayings about sports by James Conrad

   Aphorism, n.: A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
 ~quotes about Quotations by James Alexander Thom

   It is well that you should celebrate your Arbor Day thoughtfully, for within your lifetime the nation's need of trees will become serious. We of an older generation can get along with what we have, though with growing hardship; but in your full manhood an
 ~funny sports quotes by Theodore Roosevelt, 1907 Arbor Day Message

   Men may come, men may go, but I go on forever
 ~saying on Attitude by

   Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
 ~funny sports quotes by Art Buchwald

   In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.
 ~sports by Blaise Pascal

   If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
 ~sayings about sports by Will Rogers

   As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them
 ~quotes about Veterans Day by John Fitzgerald Kennedy

   Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart
 ~funny sports quotes by Author Unknown

   How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy
 ~saying on Independence Day by Paul Sweeney

   A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.
 ~funny sports quotes by Mark Twain

   Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.
 ~sports by Alice Walker

   I am a part of all that I have met.
 ~sayings about sports by Alfred Lord Tennyson

   To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet.
 ~quotes about Self-Discovery by Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, 1825

   All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality; all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides, and it is necessary for one side to beat another side.
 ~funny sports quotes by Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own, 1929

   I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he'd be dead within the year.
 ~saying on Marriage by Bette Davis

   There are sufferings that have lost their memory and do not remember why they are suffering.
 ~funny sports quotes by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
 ~sports by Oscar Wilde

   A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow
 ~sayings about sports by Charles Brower

   You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
 ~quotes about Friendship by Laurence J. Peter

   An artist, in giving a concert, should not demand an entrance fee but should ask the public to pay, just before leaving as much as they like. From the sum he would be able to judge what the world thinks of him - and we would have fewer mediocre concerts.
 ~funny sports quotes by Kit Coleman, Kit Coleman: Queen of Hearts

   A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job
 ~saying on Retirement by Ella Harris

   Love and business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man's starving.
 ~funny sports quotes by O. Henry, Heart of the West, 1907

   We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their ploughs but to secure liberty for their souls.
 ~sports by Robert J. McCracken

   When we lost I couldn't sleep at night. When we win I can't sleep at night. But when you win, you wake up feeling better
 ~sayings about sports by Joe Torre

   The history of the world is the record of a man in quest of his daily bread and butter.
 ~quotes about History by Hendrik Wilhelm van Loon, The Story of Mankind

   Friends are God's apology for relations.
 ~funny sports quotes by Hugh Kingsmill

   Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
 ~saying on Friendship by Menclus

   Man creates problems. Government and bureaucrats magnify them 100 times
 ~funny sports quotes by George Van Valkenburg

   Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, political parties, nations, and eras it's the rule.
 ~sports by Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, 1886

   Faith is a passionate intuition.
 ~sayings about sports by William Wordsworth

   If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
 ~quotes about Perspective by Carl Sagan

   Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law
 ~funny sports quotes by Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

   A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
 ~saying on Smiles by Charles Gordy

   Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive.
 ~funny sports quotes by Havelock Ellis, On Life and Sex: Essays of Love and Virtue, 1937

   Any workout which does not involve a certain minimum of danger or responsibility does not improve the body - it just wears it out.
 ~sports by Norman Mailer

   If money be not thy servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him
 ~sayings about sports by Francis Bacon

   Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!
 ~quotes about Food by Author Unknown

   Curiosity is only vanity. Most frequently we wish not to know, but to talk. We would not take a sea voyage for the sole pleasure of seeing without hope of ever telling.
 ~funny sports quotes by Blaise Pascal, Pensées

   The sound of a car door opening in front of you is similar to the sound of a gun being cocked.
 ~saying on Bicycling by Amy Webster

   Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.
 ~funny sports quotes by Gloria Steinem, New York Times, 26 August 1971

   "What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than the blink of an eye?...I learned a long time ago, Reuven, that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something...."
 ~sports by David Malter in _The Chosen_ by Chaim Potok

   Prayer is not merely an occasional impulse to which we respond when we are in trouble: prayer is a life attitude.
 ~sayings about sports by Walter A. Mueller

   A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
 ~quotes about Weeds by Doug Larson

   Charm is a glow within a woman that casts a most becoming light on others.
 ~funny sports quotes by John Mason Brown

   Born free, taxed to death
 ~saying on Death by Unknown

   I do not like eating meat because I have seen lambs and pigs killed. I saw and felt their pain. They felt the approaching death. I could not bear it. I cried like a child. I ran up a hill and could not breathe. I felt that I was choking. I felt the death of the lamb.
 ~funny sports quotes by Vaslav Nijinsky

   Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.
 ~sports by William Ralph Inge

   The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
 ~sayings about sports by Peter De Vries

   A mental stain can neither be blotted out by the passage of time nor washed away by any waters.
 ~quotes about Mind by Cicero

   I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
 ~funny sports quotes by Bob Hope

   History is the sum total of the things that could have been avoided.
 ~saying on History by Konrad Adenauer

   Architecture begins where engineering ends.
 ~funny sports quotes by Walter Gropius

   Don't accept rides from strange men - and remember that all men are as strange as hell.
 ~sports by Robin Morgan


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