funny short sayings and quotations on short sayings

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funny short sayings generated randomly from our collections

inspirational sports sayings,quotes on love,inspirational dream quotes,inspirational military quote,funny sexual saying,

   When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
 ~quotes about Changes by Victor Frankl

   Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.
 ~funny short sayings by David Sarnoff

   Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow-creatures is amusing in itself.
 ~saying on Animal Rights by James Anthony Froude, Oceana, 1886

   Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination.
 ~funny short sayings by Immanuel Kant

   Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man. But they don't bite everybody.
 ~short by Stanislaw Lec, Unkempt Thoughts, 1962

   To accept a favor is to confer one. To refuse one is an insult. The open hand becomes the closed fist.
 ~sayings about short by

   What a miserable thing life is: you're living in clover, only the clover isn't good enough.
 ~quotes about Gratitude by Bertolt Brecht, Jungle of Cities, 1924

   In its famous paradox, the equation of money and excrement, psychoanalysis becomes the first science to state what common sense and the poets have long known - that the essence of money is in its absolute worthlessness
 ~funny short sayings by Norman O. Brown

   If you judge people you have no time to love them.
 ~saying on Prejudice by Mother Teresa

   I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
 ~funny short sayings by Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann

   The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter
 ~short by Winston Churchill

   Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
 ~sayings about short by George Bernard Shaw

   The poet's darling.
 ~quotes about Flowers by William Wordsworth, To the Daisy

   Daily ask yourself: How can I do this task quicker, cheaper, better, or more easily?
 ~funny short sayings by

   How many things are there which I do not want.
 ~saying on Simplicity by Socrates

   I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
 ~funny short sayings by Tommy Cooper

   [T]his is California. Blondes are like the state flower or something.
 ~short by From the television show Beverly Hills 90210

   Learning is not easy, but hard; culture is severe. The steps to Parnassus are steep and terribly arduous.
 ~sayings about short by John Jay Chapman

   [A] genuine tattoo.... tells a story. I like stories and tattoos, no matter how well done, and if they don't tell a story that involves you emotionally, then they're just there for decoration, then they're not a valid tattoo. There has to be some emotional appeal or they're not, to my way of thinking, a real tattoo. It tells people what you are and what you believe in, so there's no mistakes.
 ~quotes about Tattoos by Leo, tattooist, 1993, quoted in Margo DeMello, Bodies of Inscription, 2000

   If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it.
 ~funny short sayings by Author Unknown

   Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while
 ~saying on Groundhog Day by Kin Hubbard

   It is an old habit with theologians to beat the living with the bones of the dead.
 ~funny short sayings by Robert G. Ingersoll

   Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act
 ~short by Truman Capote

   He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
 ~sayings about short by Clarence Budington Kelland

   Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
 ~quotes about Confidence by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
 ~funny short sayings by Maureen Murphy

   Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it.... Success is shy - it won't come out while you're watching.
 ~saying on Success by Tennessee Williams

   There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept.
 ~funny short sayings by Ansel Adams

   Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 ~short by Will Rogers (verification of author per The Estate of Will Rogers, CMG Worldwide)

   Everyone smiles in the same language.
 ~sayings about short by Author Unknown

   Experience teaches only the teachable.
 ~quotes about Maturing Altruistically by Aldous Huxley

   No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical.
 ~funny short sayings by Niels Bohr

    The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work
 ~saying on Worry by Robert Frost

   In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
 ~funny short sayings by Terry Pratchett

   Solvitur ambulando, St. Jerome was fond of saying. To solve a problem, walk around.
 ~short by Gregory McNamee

   Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism.
 ~sayings about short by William James

   Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.
 ~quotes about Carpe Diem by Scottish Proverb

   The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without his teacher.
 ~funny short sayings by Elbert Hubbard

   War is fear cloaked in courage.
 ~saying on War by William Westmoreland

   You mix two jiggers of scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license
 ~funny short sayings by Rocky Bridges

   All our lives we are putting pennies - our most golden pennies - into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty.
 ~short by Logan Pearsall Smith

   There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them
 ~sayings about short by Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

   You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
 ~quotes about Society by Art Buchwald

   History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
 ~funny short sayings by Joseph Heller, Good as Gold

   Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get.
 ~saying on Dental by George D. Prentice

   [H]istory gives answers only to those who know how to ask questions.
 ~funny short sayings by Hajo Holborn, History and the Humanities

   The historian has been the hearth at which the soul of the country has been kept alive.
 ~short by John Morley, Notes on Politics and History

   Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
 ~sayings about short by John F. Kennedy

   The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.
 ~quotes about Dancing by Mata Hari

   Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
 ~funny short sayings by Albert Camus

   'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark our coming, and look brighter when we come.
 ~saying on Love by Lord Byron

   Somebody recently figured out that we have 35 million laws to enforce the ten commandments.
 ~funny short sayings by Attributed to both Bert Masterson and Earl Wilson

   The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
 ~short by A.P. Herbert

   What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.
 ~sayings about short by Franklin P. Jones

   Sleep lingers all our lifetime about our eyes, as night hovers all day in the boughs of the fir-tree.
 ~quotes about Sleep by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break.
 ~funny short sayings by William Hale White

   We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion and put to death by reality
 ~saying on Death by Judy Garland

   I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
 ~funny short sayings by Frank Lloyd Wright, quoted, 14 August 1966

   I like the silence of a church, before the service begins better than any preaching.
 ~short by Ralph Waldo Emerson


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