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funny sex quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   He who angers you conquers you.
 ~quotes about Anger by Elizabeth Kenny

   The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground.
 ~funny sex quotes by Buddha

   Men are idolaters and want something to look at and kiss and hug, or throw themselves down before; they always did, they always will; and if you don't make it out of wood, you must make it out of words.
 ~saying on Miscellaneous by Oliver Wendell Holmes, The Poet at the Breakfast Table, 1872

   Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
 ~funny sex quotes by Charles Schulz

   We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.
 ~sex by Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732

   Patience is the companion of wisdom.
 ~sayings about sex by St. Augustine

   No.
 ~quotes about Conformity by President Jimmy Carter's daughter Amy, when asked if she had any message for the children of America

   The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth.
 ~funny sex quotes by Dan Rather

   Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently
 ~saying on Freedom by Rosa Luxemburg

   The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
 ~funny sex quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

   God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools.
 ~sex by John Muir

   If u look at what u dont have in life, u dont have any thing, if u look at what u have in life, u have every thing
 ~sayings about sex by Tupac

   A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road
 ~quotes about Comedy by Henry Ward Beecher

   Children lack morality, but they also lack fake morality.
 ~funny sex quotes by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   A goal is a dream with a deadline.
 ~saying on Dreams by Napoleon Hill

   Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?
 ~funny sex quotes by Mary Manin Morrissey author

   Love one another and you will be happyIt's as simple and as difficult as that
 ~sex by Michael Leunig

   There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and a tired man who wants a book to read.
 ~sayings about sex by G.K. Chesterton

   I never saw a discontented tree. They grip the ground as though they liked it, and though fast rooted they travel about as far as we do. They go wandering forth in all directions with every wind, going and coming like ourselves, traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day, and through space heaven knows how fast and far!
 ~quotes about Trees by John Muir

   There have been periods of history in which episodes of terrible violence occurred but for which the word violence was never used.... Violence is shrouded in justifying myths that lend it moral legitimacy, and these myths for the most part kept people from recognizing the violence for what it was. The people who burned witches at the stake never for one moment thought of their act as violence; rather they thought of it as an act of divinely mandated righteousness. The same can be said of most of the violence we humans have ever committed.
 ~funny sex quotes by Gil Bailie

   We cannot get grace from gadgets. In the Bakelite house of the future, the dishes may not break, but the heart can. Even a man with ten shower baths may find life flat, stale and unprofitable.
 ~saying on Prosperity by J.B. Priestley

   Life was a damned muddle - a football game with everyone offside and the referee gotten rid of - everyone claiming the referee would have been on his side.
 ~funny sex quotes by F. Scott Fitzgerald

   A man's life is interesting primarily when he had failed – for it's a sign that he tried to surpass himself.
 ~sex by Georges Clemenceau

   Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight
 ~sayings about sex by Josh Billings

   Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
 ~quotes about Adversity by Norman Vincent Peale

   If God dropped acid, would he see people?
 ~funny sex quotes by Steven Wright

   I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
 ~saying on Dogs by Gilda Radner

   The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
 ~funny sex quotes by Lane Olinghouse

   History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
 ~sex by Abba Eban

   To be dragged in the wake of the passive flock and to pass a hundred and one times beneath the shears of the shepherd, or to die alone like a brave eagle on a rocky crag of a great mountain: that is the dilemma.
 ~sayings about sex by Praxedis Guerrero, RegeneraciÓn, 18 February 1911

   Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
 ~quotes about Love by Albert Einstein

   No modern idea has affected history more than the passion of nationalism.
 ~funny sex quotes by Charles R. Poinsatte, Understanding History Through the American Experience

   He stands out among the beacon lights of history as a man of vision dominated by a definite purpose
 ~saying on Columbus Day by John George Jones

   Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.
 ~funny sex quotes by Carl Sandburg

   In business for yourself, not by yourself.
 ~sex by Ray Kroc

   Dance is a song of the body. Either of joy or pain.
 ~sayings about sex by Martha Graham

   Love is a symbol of eternityIt wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end
 ~quotes about I Love You by Author Unknown

   Not fact-finding, but attainment to philosophy is the aim of science.
 ~funny sex quotes by Martin H. Fischer

   How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.
 ~saying on Being Yourself by Gabrielle Coco Chanel

   To be in hell is to drift aimlessly; to be in heaven, is to be steering toward rich port.
 ~funny sex quotes by

   When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
 ~sex by Charles A. Beard

   We will either find a way, or make one.
 ~sayings about sex by Hannibal

   Bound as our lives are to the tyranny of time, it is through what we know of history that we are delivered from our bonds and escape - into time.
 ~quotes about History by A.L. Rowse, The Use of History

   To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to keep your soul alive.
 ~funny sex quotes by Robert Louis Stevenson

   Pursue one great decisive aim with force and determination.
 ~saying on Goals by Karl von Clausewitz

   An amateur is someone who supports himself with outside jobs which enable him to paint. A professional is someone whose wife works to enable him to paint.
 ~funny sex quotes by Ben Shahn

   There is always some specific moment when we realize our youth is gone; but years after, we know it was much later.
 ~sex by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them
 ~sayings about sex by Margaret Mitchell

   Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.
 ~quotes about Men by Erica Jong

   I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.
 ~funny sex quotes by Elaine Dundy

   A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
 ~saying on Men by Helen Rowland

   The capacity to blunder slightly is the real marvel of DNA. Without this special attribute, we would still be anaerobic bacteria and there would be no music.
 ~funny sex quotes by Lewis Thomas

   The two most engaging powers of an author are to make new things familiar and familiar things new.
 ~sex by Samuel Johnson

   Very little of the great cruelty shown by men can really be attributed to cruel instinct. Most of it comes from thoughtlessness or inherited habit. The roots of cruelty, therefore, are not so much strong as widespread. But the time must come when inhumanity protected by custom and thoughtlessness will succumb before humanity championed by thought. Let us work that this time may come.
 ~sayings about sex by Albert Schweitzer

   All know the way; few actually walk it.
 ~quotes about Action by Bodhidharma

   Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.
 ~funny sex quotes by David Frost

   That theory is worthless. It isn't even wrong!
 ~saying on Science by Wolfgang Pauli

   Sometimes I think it should be a rule of war that you have to see somebody up close and get to know him before you can shoot him.
 ~funny sex quotes by M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

   To crush out fanaticism and revere the infinite, such is the law. Let us not confine ourselves to falling prostrate beneath the tree of creation and contemplating its vast ramifications full of stars. We have a duty to perform, to cultivate the human soul, to defend mystery against miracle, to adore the incomprehensible and to reject the absurd; to admit nothing that is inexplicable excepting what is necessary, to purify faith and obliterate superstition from the face of religion, to remove the vermin from the garden of God.
 ~sex by Victor Hugo


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