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funny seinfeld quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   The imperfections of a man, his frailties, his faults, are just as important as his virtues. You can't separate them. They're wedded.
 ~quotes about Perfection by Henry Miller

   Good, honest, hardheaded character is a function of the home. If the proper seed is sown there and properly nourished for a few years, it will not be easy for that plant to be uprooted.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by George A. Dorsey

   I've often thought, if I got really hungry for a good milk shake, how much would I pay for one? People will pay a hundred dollars for a bottle of wine; to me that's not worth it. But I'm not going to say it is foolish or wrong to spend that kind of money, if that's what you want. So if a guy wants to bet twenty or thirty thousand dollars in a poker game, that is his privilege.
 ~saying on Poker by Jack Binion

   Many people have sighed for the 'good old days' and regretted the 'passing of the horse,' but today, when only those who like horses own them, it is a far better time for horses.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by C.W. Anderson

   Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.
 ~seinfeld by Arthur Miller

   Habit rules the unreflecting herd.
 ~sayings about seinfeld by William Wordsworth, Ecclesiastical Sonnets, 1822

   They need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, their souls really won't be at peace unless they can latch on to an established and proven worry and having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit and go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and they know it and that too worries them no end.
 ~quotes about Worry by Jack Kerouac

   Who wants to live with one foot in hell just for the sake of nostalgia? Our time is forever now!
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Alice Childress

   Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
 ~saying on Risk by James Bryant Conant

   What was good enough yesterday isn't good enough today
What's good enough today won't be good enough tomorrow
Good enaogh.....isn't!
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by

   My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.
 ~seinfeld by A.A. Milne

   I am not a lover of lawns. Rather would I see daisies in their thousands, ground ivy, hawkweed, and even the hated plantain with tall stems, and dandelions with splendid flowers and fairy down, than the too-well-tended lawn.
 ~sayings about seinfeld by W.H. Hudson, The Book of a Naturalist, 1919

   The greatest delight the fields and woods minister is the suggestion of an occult relation between man and the vegetable. I am not alone and unacknowledged. They nod to me and I to them.
 ~quotes about Food by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.
 ~saying on Math by Carl Sandburg, Arithmetic

   Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Hal Borland

   I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.
 ~seinfeld by Norm Sloan, on zone defense

   How can we know the dancer from the dance?
 ~sayings about seinfeld by William Butler Yeats

   Life is a series of collisions with the future.
 ~quotes about Life by José Ortega y Gasset

   They who are of the opinion that Money will do everything, may very well be suspected to do everything for Money.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by George Savile, Complete Works, 1912

   No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse.
 ~saying on Marriage by Author Unknown

   In the presence of eternity, the mountains are as transient as the clouds.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Robert Green Ingersoll

   If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming
 ~seinfeld by Charles Barkley

   We are the products of editing, rather than authorship.
 ~sayings about seinfeld by George Wald, The Origin of Optical Activity, Annals of the New York Academy of Science, 1975

   Five great enemies to peace inhabit with us: avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride. If those enemies were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace.
 ~quotes about Peace by Francesco Petrarch

   Men are equal; it is not birth but virtue that makes the difference
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Voltaire

   Improvement begins with I.
 ~saying on Helping by Arnold Glasow

   Be a good animal, true to your animal instincts.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by David Herbert Lawrence, White Peacock, 1911

   Endurance is frequently a form of indecision.
 ~seinfeld by Elizabeth Bibesco, Haven, 1951

   I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live.
 ~sayings about seinfeld by Louis D. Brandeis

   All women become like their mothersThat is their tragedyNo man doesThat's his
 ~quotes about Mothers Day by Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895

   If you give what can be taken, you are not really giving. Take what you are given, not what you want to be given. Give what cannot be taken.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Idries Shah

   Books want to be born: I never make them. They come to me and insist on being written, and on being such and such.
 ~saying on Writing by Samuel Butler

   Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Bill Dodds

   Many politicians are in the habit of laying it down as a self-evident proposition that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedomThe maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story who resolved not to go into the water till he had lear
 ~seinfeld by Thomas Macaulay

   Mistakes are the portals of discovery
 ~sayings about seinfeld by James Joyce

   Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same timeThe man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host
 ~quotes about Party Invitations by Fred Allen

   Love and concern for all are not things some of us are born with and others are not. Rather, they are results of what we do with our minds: We can choose to transform our minds so that they embody love, or we can allow them to develop habits and false concepts of separation
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Sharon Salzberg

   Man goes nowhere. Everything comes to man, like tomorrow.
 ~saying on Time by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Buddha

   The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.
 ~seinfeld by Joseph Conrad, Under Western Eyes, 1911

   Life is one long process of getting tired.
 ~sayings about seinfeld by Samuel Butler

   The best way out of a problem is through it.
 ~quotes about Action by Author Unknown

   There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Robert Orben

   Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
 ~saying on Listening by Robert Fulghum

   The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Author Unknown

   A virgin forest is where the hand of man has never set foot.
 ~seinfeld by Author Unknown

   We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.
 ~sayings about seinfeld by Horace Hutchinson

   Patriotism, the virtue of the vicious.
 ~quotes about Patriotism by Oscar Wilde

   After all there is something about a wedding-gown prettier than in any other gown in the world.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Douglas William Jerrold

   Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
 ~saying on Procrastination by Author Unknown

   Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Paul Eldridge

   After a certain number of years, our faces become our biographies.
 ~seinfeld by Cynthia Ozick, The Paris Review

   Baseball is the only sport I know that when you're on offense, the other team controls the ball.
 ~sayings about seinfeld by Ken Harrelson, Sports Illustrated, 6 September 1976

   No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space
 ~quotes about Movie by Kirk

   Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by George Bernard Shaw

   Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.
 ~saying on Freedom by Albert Camus

   It is a mistake to suppose that people succeed through success; they often succeed through failures.
 ~funny seinfeld quotes by Author Unknown

   Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.
 ~seinfeld by Joseph Heller, Catch-22, 1955


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