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funny school quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Jefferson Machamer

   If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
 ~funny school quotes by Johnny Carson

   Is man a savage at heart, skinned o'er with fragile Manners? Or is savagery but a faint taint in the natural man's gentility, which erupts now and again like pimples on an angel's arse?
 ~saying on Manners by John Barth, The Sot-Weed Factor, 1960

   Why waste money on psychotherapy when you can listen to the B Minor Mass?
 ~funny school quotes by Michael Torke

    Hope has as many lives as a cat or a king
 ~school by Henry Wadsworth

   I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
 ~sayings about school by Jean Kerr, Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, The Snake Has All the Lines, 1958

   Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more.
 ~quotes about Attitude by

   When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender handThe frien
 ~funny school quotes by Henri Nouwen

   My life is my message
 ~saying on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Mahatma Ghandi

   Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning
 ~funny school quotes by Bill Gates, Business @ the Speed of Thought

   I can think of no more stirring symbol of man's humanity to man than a fire engine
 ~school by Kurt Vonnegut

   Man loves company even if it is only that of a small burning candle.
 ~sayings about school by Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

   Our siblings. They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long.
 ~quotes about Brothers by Susan Scarf Merrell

   When a man forgets his ideals he may hope for happiness, but not till then.
 ~funny school quotes by John Oliver Hobbes

   Fear is faith that it won't work out.
 ~saying on Fear by Sister Mary Tricky

   It is literally true, as the thankless say, that they have nothing to be thankful forHe who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fireNothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredi
 ~funny school quotes by W.J. Cameron

   If someone gives you advice, it is in his own interest. - Tunisian Proverb
 ~school by Tunisian Proverb

   The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
 ~sayings about school by Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988

   The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.
 ~quotes about Smoking by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   What's wrong with this world is, it's not finished yet. It is not competed to the point where man can put his final signature to the job and say, It is finished. We made it and it works.
 ~funny school quotes by William Faulkner, address, Wellesley, Massachusetts, 8 June 1952

   I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework
 ~saying on Teacher Appreciation by Lily Tomlin as "Edith Ann"

   Waste is a tax on the whole people.
 ~funny school quotes by Albert W. Atwood

   As the poet said, Only God can make a tree - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
 ~school by Woody Allen

   If experience was so important, we'd never have had anyone walk on the moon.
 ~sayings about school by Doug Rader

   The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun.
 ~quotes about Environment by Ralph Nader, quoted in Linda Botts, ed., Loose Talk, 1980

   The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left
 ~funny school quotes by Jerry M. Wright

   If you are a host to your guest, be a host to his dog also.
 ~saying on Guests by Russian Proverb

   By night, an atheist half believes in God.
 ~funny school quotes by Edward Young, Night Thoughts

   If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag
 ~school by Author Unknown

   My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
 ~sayings about school by Lee Trevino

   Never worry about the size of your Christmas treeIn the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall
 ~quotes about Christmas by Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas

   Peace - that was the other name for home.
 ~funny school quotes by Kathleen Norris

   Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
 ~saying on Honesty by Slovenian Proverb

   The only measure of your worth and your deeds will be the love you leave behind when you're gone
 ~funny school quotes by Fred Small

   The sweetest sounds to mortals given, Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.
 ~school by William Goldsmith Brown

   We didn't all come over on the same ship, but we're all in the same boat.
 ~sayings about school by Bernard M. Baruch

   Red serpents, fiery forms, and yelling hags,Fit company for mad adventurers.
 ~quotes about Halloween by Philip Freneau

   Drawing on my find command of language, I said nothing.
 ~funny school quotes by Robert Charles Benchley

   Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
 ~saying on Reality by Albert Einstein

   When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.
 ~funny school quotes by Author Unknown

   Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.
 ~school by Author Unknown

   Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another
 ~sayings about school by Anatole France, The Crime of Sylvestre Bonnard

   Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on.
 ~quotes about Compliments by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.
 ~funny school quotes by Sholem Asch

   I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
 ~saying on Drugs by Author Unknown

   I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day? I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day? My mom would always say, Every day is Kid's Day. To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
 ~funny school quotes by Rob Nash

   Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
 ~school by Gloria Naylor

   Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or yearEven when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols
 ~sayings about school by Thomas Mann

   The best thing about getting old is that all those things you couldn't have when you were young you no longer want.
 ~quotes about Age by L.S. McCandless

   Our children more attention pay, to what we do, than what we say. Training by example is easy and fast; by explaining long and difficult.
 ~funny school quotes by

   Nerves and butterflies are fine - they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager. You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick.
 ~saying on Worry by Steve Bull

   Why are men reluctant to become fathers? They aren't through being children.
 ~funny school quotes by Cindy Garner

   Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved.
 ~school by Christopher Paul Rubero

   After two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
 ~sayings about school by W.C. Fields

   Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
 ~quotes about Love by Michael Leunig

   Have no fear of robbers or murderers. They are external dangers, petty dangers. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murders. The great dangers are within us. Why worry about what threatens our heads or purses? Let us think instead of what threatens our souls.
 ~funny school quotes by Victor Hugo

   Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
 ~saying on Alcohol by Homer Simpson

   There are no facts, only interpretations.
 ~funny school quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche

   The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European
 ~school by Phil Neville


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