funny sarcastic sayings and quotations on sarcastic sayings

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funny sarcastic sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   Temperance and labor are the two true physicians of man.
 ~quotes about Labor by Jean Jacques Rousseau

   The world has achieved brilliance without conscience.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Omar Bradley

   Of course abortion isn't right. But it is even less right to bring unwanted children into lifelong suffering and to strip women of their choice. Making abortion illegal is not the way to prevent it. There is a much larger picture that starts with much deeper roots.
 ~saying on Abortion by Anonymous

   A half-baked idea is okay as long as it's in the oven.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Author Unknown

   He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
 ~sarcastic by Joseph Heller, Catch-22, 1961

   Thank you for your coffee, seignor. I shall miss that when we leave Casablanca
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Ingrid Bergman

   Positive attitude is an amazing catalyst to success.
 ~quotes about Attitude by Jose B. Cabajar

   It is in his pleasure that a man really lives; it is from his leisure that he constructs the true fabric of self.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Agnes Repplier

   The only guy I have to get better than is who I am right now.
 ~saying on Integrity by M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

   I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Alice Roosevelt Longworth

   The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.
 ~sarcastic by Benjamin Disraeli

   You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Franklin P. Jones, referring to the atomic bomb

   Silence was the last word we spoke, it filled the air heavy with forevers...
 ~quotes about Love by

    Anyone serious about playing indoor, you should play outdoor
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Sean Scott

   The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit
 ~saying on Graduation by Nelson Henderson

   Like a piece of ice on a hot stove the poem must ride on its own melting.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Robert Frost

   If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
 ~sarcastic by Paul Gallico

   Even when we know what is right, too often we fail to act. More often we grab greedily for the day, letting tomorrow bring what it will, putting off the unpleasant and unpopular.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Bernard M. Baruch

   God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
 ~quotes about Mothers by Jewish Proverb

   Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Cathy Carlyle

   Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music.
 ~saying on Dancing by William Stafford

   The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by C.S. Lewis

   Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
 ~sarcastic by Bill Cosby, Fatherhood, 1986

   Think positively about yourself.... ask God who made you to keep on remaking you.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Norman Vincent Peale

   We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.
 ~quotes about Society by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

   To Crystal, hair was the most important thing on earth. She would never get married because you couldn't wear curlers in bed.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Edna O'Brien

   The most persistent sound which reverberates through men's history is the beating of war drums.
 ~saying on War by Arthur Koestler, Janus: A Summing Up

   When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Peter O'Toole

   We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal. We worry away our lives.
 ~sarcastic by Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail, 1979

   From a worldly point of view there is no mistake so great as that of being always right.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Samuel Butler, Note-Books, 1912

   Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse.
 ~quotes about Men by Dave Barry

   Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Louis D. Brandeis

   Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings.
 ~saying on Goals by C.D. Jackson

   Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by M.G. Siriam

   Is death the last sleep? No--it is the last and final awakening
 ~sarcastic by Sir Walter Scott

   Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism

   The departure of our boys to foreign parts with the ever-present possibility that they might never return, taught the real value of photography to every father and mother. To many a mother the photograph of her boy in his country's uniform was the one never-failing consolation.
 ~quotes about Photography by Louis Fabian Bachrach

   In all things that are purely social we can be as separate as the fingers, yet one as the hand in all things essential to mutual progress.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Booker T. Washington

   The old theory was "Marry an older man, because they're more mature." But the new theory is: "Men don't matureMarry a younger one."
 ~saying on Women's Greetings by Rita Rudner

   Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Meryl Streep

   Obesity is really widespread.
 ~sarcastic by Joseph O. Kern II

   Sometimes we make love with our eyes. Sometimes we make love with our hands. Sometimes we make love with our bodies. Always we make love with our hearts.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Author Unknown

   what you do is what you get
 ~quotes about Career by

   I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Paul Merton

   Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
 ~saying on Missing You by Richard Bach

   To live remains an art which everyone must learn, and which no one can teach.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Havelock Ellis

   I knew a man who once said, death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.
 ~sarcastic by From the movie Gladiator

   Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Robert Quillen

   Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
 ~quotes about American football by George F. Will

   Maybe part of loving is learning to let go.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by From the television show The Wonder Years

   A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
 ~saying on Celebrity by Groucho Marx

   Do not... regard the critics as questionable patriots. What were Washington and Jefferson and Adams but profound critics of the colonial status quo?
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Adlai Stevenson

   America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.
 ~sarcastic by John Updike

   New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Hamilton Wright Mabie

   I am my kid's mom
 ~quotes about Children by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

   If we shall take the good we find, asking no questions, we shall have heaping measures.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I sometimes think of what future historians will say of us. A single sentence will suffice for modern man: He fornicated and read the papers.
 ~saying on Humankind by Albert Camus

   Likely as not, the child you can do the least with will do the most to make you proud.
 ~funny sarcastic sayings by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying.
 ~sarcastic by Author Unknown


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