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funny sarcastic saying generated randomly from our collections

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   The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.
 ~quotes about Smiles by Author Unknown

   If everyone is thinking alike then somebody isn't thinking.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by George S. Patton

   The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book.
 ~saying on Teachers by Author Unknown

   This is a linear sport. Something happens and then something else happens, and then the next man comes up and digs in at the plate. Here's the pitch, and here, after a pause, is the next. There's time to write it down in your scorecard or notebook, and then perhaps to look about and reflect on what's starting to happen out there now. It's not much like the swirl and blur of hockey and basketball, or the highway crashes of the NFL
 ~funny sarcastic saying by

   Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you
 ~sarcastic by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   There are more adventures on a chessboard than on all the seas of the world
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Pierre Mac ORLAN

   Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states.
 ~quotes about Exercise by Carol Welch

   All problems become smaller if you don't dodge them but confront them.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by William F. Halsey

   Men who never get carried away should be.
 ~saying on Attitude by Malcolm Forbes

   If you want work well done, select a busy man - the other kind has no time.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Elbert Hubbard

   God made so many different kinds of people. Why would he allow only one way to serve him?
 ~sarcastic by Martin Buber

   I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Maya Angelou

   There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.
 ~quotes about Sex by Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour

   The best kind of rain, of course, is a cozy rain. This is the kind the anonymous medieval poet makes me remember, the rain that falls on a day when you'd just as soon stay in bed a little longer, write letters or read a good book by the fire, take early tea with hot scones and jam and look out the streaked window with complacency.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Susan Allen Toth, England For All Seasons

   Men will often admit other women are oppressed but not you.
 ~saying on Feminism by Sheila Rowbotham

   A door opens to me. I go in and am faced with a hundred closed doors.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   If a man is called a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and Earth will pause to say, Here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.
 ~sarcastic by Martin Luther King, Jr.

   Law never made men a whit more just; and by means of their respect for it, even the well-disposed are daily made the agents of injustice. A common and natural result of an undue respect for law is that you may see a file of soldiers, colonel, captain, corporal, privates, powder-monkeys, and all marching in admirable order over hill and dale to the wars, against their wills, ay, against their common sense and consciences, which makes it very steep marching indeed, and produces a palpitation of the heart. They have no doubt that it is a damnable business in which they are concerned; they are all peaceably inclined. Now, what are they? Men at all? or small movable forts and magazines, at the service of some unscrupulous man in power? The mass of men serve the State thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies.... In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgment or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Henry David Thoreau, On the Duty of Civil Disobedience

   No one ever fails. They just quit trying. Many of our greatest men tried and fail so often they decided to quit – but tried once more – and won.
 ~quotes about Success by

   I am unable to understand how a man of honor could take a newspaper in his hands without a shudder of disgust.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Charles Baudelaire

   The twin killers of success are impatience and greed.
 ~saying on Attitude by Jim Rohn

   Our only security is our ability to change.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by John Lilly

   The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
 ~sarcastic by Mark Twain, attributed

   Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by James Thurber, Time, 15 August 1960

   I have great faith in fools - self-confidence, my friends call it
 ~quotes about April Fool's Day by Edgar Allan Poe

   Life has meaning only if one barters it day by day for something other than itself.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

   If we could all hear one another's prayers, God might be relieved of some of his burdens.
 ~saying on Helping by Ashleigh Brilliant

   I refuse to prove that I exist says God, for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing. Oh, says man, but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't. Q.E.D. Oh, I hadn't thought of that, says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

   Poverty is the mother of crime.
 ~sarcastic by Marcus Aurelius

   I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Tom Clark

   If I might comprehend Jesus Christ, I could not believe on Him. He would be no greater than myself. Such is my consciousness of sin and inability that I must have a superhuman Saviour.
 ~quotes about Jesus Christ by Daniel Webster

   Night time is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Catherine O'Hara

   I just could not stand the idea of eating meat - I really do think that it has made me calmer.... People's general awareness is getting much better, even down to buying a pint of milk: the fact that the calves are actually killed so that the milk doesn't go to them but to us cannot really be right, and if you have seen a cow in a state of extreme distress because it cannot understand why its calf isn't by, it can make you think a lot.
 ~saying on Vegetarianism by Kate Bush

   Chowder breathes reassurance. It steams consolation.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Clementine Paddleford

   If you are physically sick, you can elicit the interest of a battery of physicians; but if you are mentally sick, you are lucky if the janitor comes around.
 ~sarcastic by Martin H. Fischer

   True friends are those who know the worst about us, but allow for our intentions.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by

   If the mind, that rules the body, ever so far forgets itself as to trample on its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive the injury, but will rise and smite the oppressor.
 ~quotes about Body by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

   One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Oscar Wilde

   Language is the most imperfect and expensive means yet discovered for communicating thought.
 ~saying on Language by William James

   The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by John Buchan

   A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election
 ~sarcastic by Bill Vaughan

   Sadness flies away on the wings of time.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Jean de La Fontaine

   Feminism directly confronts the idea that one person or set of people [has] the right to impose definitions of reality on others.
 ~quotes about Feminism by Liz Stanley and Sue Wise

   What is more important in a library than anything else - than everything else - is the fact that it exists.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Archibald MacLeish, The Premise of Meaning, American Scholar, 5 June 1972

   The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
 ~saying on Feminism by Roseanne Barr

   Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Dale Carnegie

   Few of us write great novels; all of us live them.
 ~sarcastic by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   All kids need is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Earvin "Magic" Johnson

   The Bible may be the truth but it's not the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
 ~quotes about Religion by Samuel Butler

   False opinions are like false money, struck first of all by guilty men and thereafter circulated by honest people who perpetuate the crime without knowing what they are doing.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Joseph De Maistre

   Sadness flies away on the wings of time
 ~saying on Patriot Day by Jean de La Fontaine

   The one real object of education is to have a man in the condition of continually asking questions.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Bishop Mandell Creighton

   We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out.
 ~sarcastic by Julian Huxley, Essays of a Biologist, 1923

   Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope... and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
 ~sayings about sarcastic by Robert F. Kennedy

   We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still.
 ~quotes about Philosophical by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   For those who do not think, it is best at least to rearrange their prejudices once in a while.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Luther Burbank

   In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.
 ~saying on War by José Narosky

   Every actual state is corrupt. Good men must not obey laws too well.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it
 ~sarcastic by Graeme Le Saux


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