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funny relationship quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes, but the firm resolve of virtue and reason
 ~quotes about Patriot Day by Alfred North Whitehead

   May your love be filled with life and may your life be filled with love.
 ~funny relationship quotes by

   The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be.
 ~saying on Speaking by Edgar Allan Poe

   Wanna make God laugh? Plan your future
 ~funny relationship quotes by Unknown

   It actually giggles at you as it goes by.
 ~relationship by Rick Monday, on Phil Niekro's knuckleball, quoted in Sports Illustrated, 1 August 1983

   Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.
 ~sayings about relationship by The Women's Petition Against Coffee, 1674

   Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events.
 ~quotes about Humor by E.T. Cy Eberhart

   All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
 ~funny relationship quotes by Lucy Van Pelt

   If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world.
 ~saying on Education by Heinrich Heine

   Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Author Unknown

   Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
 ~relationship by P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome, 1922

   Music rots when it gets too far from the dance. Poetry atrophies when it gets too far from music.
 ~sayings about relationship by Ezra Pound

   We've arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology. We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. This is a prescription for disaster. We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces.
 ~quotes about Technology by Carl Sagan

   The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying This is mine, and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not anyone have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows, Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Jean Jacques Rousseau, A Discourse on the Origin of Inequality

   The public buys its opinions as it buys its meat, or takes in its milk, on the principle that it is cheaper to do this than to keep a cow. So it is, but the milk is more likely to be watered.
 ~saying on Conformity by Samuel Butler, Notebooks, 1912

   The answer to old age is to keep one's mind busy and to go on with one's life as if it were interminable. I always admired Chekhov for building a new house when he was dying of tuberculosis.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Leon Edel

   hEart has its own reason which eyes cannot see..
 ~relationship by

   If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings
 ~sayings about relationship by Welsh Proverb

   If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.
 ~quotes about Changes by Saint Augustine

   There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.
 ~funny relationship quotes by John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

   Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
 ~saying on Jobs by Confucius

   A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Lois Wyse

   The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.
 ~relationship by Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media

   If only I could leave everything as it is, without moving a single star or a single cloud. Oh, if only I could!
 ~sayings about relationship by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishnessIt's the men who are discriminated againstThey can't bear childrenAnd no one's likely to do anything about that
 ~quotes about Mothers Day by Golda Meir

   Get married, in any case. If you happen to get a good mate, you will be happy; if a bad one, you will become philosophical, which is a fine thing in itself.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Socrates, in Diogenes Laertius, Lives

   The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
 ~saying on Golf by Ernest Hemingway

   How do people make it through life without a sister?
 ~funny relationship quotes by Sara Corpening

   Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.
 ~relationship by Mark Twain, Note-Book, 1935

   The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
 ~sayings about relationship by Foe Ancis

   The real differences around the world today are not between Jews and Arabs; Protestants and Catholics; Muslims, Croats, and Serbs. The real differences are between those who embrace peace and those who would destroy it; between those who look to the future and those who cling to the past; between those who open their arms and those who are determined to clench their fists.
 ~quotes about Peace by William J. Clinton, 1997

   Woman didn't get the short end of every stick. At least God gave us handheld massaging shower heads.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Rhann Morgan

   Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.
 ~saying on Baseball by Bill Veeck

   The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Calvin Trillin

   An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate.
 ~relationship by Chateaubriand, Le Génie du Christianisme, 1802

   You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
 ~sayings about relationship by Mark Twain

   Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.
 ~quotes about Living by Jerome K. Jerome, The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow, 1889

   Man alone, of all god’s creatures, can change himself for the better
 ~funny relationship quotes by

   The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
 ~saying on Religion by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Mark Twain

   Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams.
 ~relationship by Fyodor Dostoevski

   My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
 ~sayings about relationship by Errol Flynn

   Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Author Unknown

   A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses
 ~funny relationship quotes by H. L. Mencken

   I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
 ~saying on Helping by Author Unknown

   Hair brings one's self-image into focus; it is vanity's proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Shana Alexander

   The least lack of discipline starts to erode our
self-esteem.
 ~relationship by Jim Rohn

   The mother's heart is the child's school-room.
 ~sayings about relationship by Henry Ward Beecher

   Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness.
 ~quotes about Adversity by André Gide, L'immoraliste

   In college, Yuppies major in business administration. If to meet certain requirements they have to take a liberal arts course, they take Business Poetry.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Dave Barry

   Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
 ~saying on Living by Euripides, Alexander

   God has given a great deal to man, but man would like something from man.
 ~funny relationship quotes by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   The moment a child is born, the mother is also bornShe never existed beforeThe woman existed, but the mother, neverA mother is something absolutely new
 ~relationship by Rajneesh

   The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune.
 ~sayings about relationship by Boris Pasternak

   I'm not an environmentalist. I'm an Earth warrior.
 ~quotes about Environment by Darryl Cherney, quoted in Smithsonian, April 1990

   So many pictures, so little time!
 ~funny relationship quotes by Author Unknown

   Creativity arises out of the tension between spontaneity and limitations, the latter (like the river banks) forcing the spontaneity into the various forms which are essential to the work of art or poem
 ~saying on Creativity by Rollo May

   What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
 ~funny relationship quotes by George Eliot

   Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.
 ~relationship by From the movie The Color of Money


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