funny redneck sayings and quotations on redneck sayings

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funny redneck sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself.
 ~quotes about Procrastination by Author Unknown

   I listen to feminists and all these radical gals - most of them are failures. They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man in the house. That's all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They're sexist. They hate men - that's their problem.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Jerry Falwell

   They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.
 ~saying on Death by Arthur Schopenhauer

   A teacher's task is to Poke, Provoke to a Reaction, Confront and Elevate.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Yogi Bhajan

   A woman should be an illusion.
 ~redneck by Ian Fleming

   Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns.
 ~sayings about redneck by William S. Gilbert

   Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. Your character is unleashed - you won't take anything sitting down.
 ~quotes about Yoga by Terri Guillemets

   If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don't wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Senegalese Proverb

   The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
 ~saying on Unemployment by Slappy White

   Some see a hopeless end, while others see an endless hope
 ~funny redneck sayings by Author Unknown

   The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them
 ~redneck by Karl Marx

   The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of a gun.
 ~sayings about redneck by P.G. Wodehouse

   When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there.
 ~quotes about Confidence by Cecil Selig

   I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Brent Musburger

   There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
 ~saying on Success by Christopher Morley

   The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Leo Aikman

   Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
 ~redneck by Robert Orben

   Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
 ~sayings about redneck by Marie Curie

   What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
 ~quotes about Men by Erma Bombeck

   Of all our infirmities, the most savage is to despise our being.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Michel de Montaigne

   Past and to come, seems best; things present, worse
 ~saying on Adversity by William Shakespeare, Henry IV

   My religious position: I think that God could do a lot better, and I'm willing to give Him the chance.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
 ~redneck by Mark Twain

   People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.
 ~sayings about redneck by Lee Mildon

   For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.
 ~quotes about Life by Albert Camus

   Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
 ~funny redneck sayings by James Matthew Barrie

   The secret to friendship is being a good listener
 ~saying on Friendship by Unknown

   Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Gordon B. Hinckley

   My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
 ~redneck by Henny Youngman

   The old theory was Marry an older man, because they're more mature. But the new theory is: Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
 ~sayings about redneck by Rita Rudner

   I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
 ~quotes about Golf by G.K. Chesterton

   A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

   The historian has before him a jigsaw puzzle from which many pieces have disappeared. These gaps can be filled only by his imagination.
 ~saying on History by Gaetano Salvemini, Historian and Scientist

   One can write, think and pray exclusively of others; dreams are all egocentric.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Evelyn Waugh

   It kills you to see them grow upBut I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't
 ~redneck by Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

   Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop
 ~sayings about redneck by Ovid

   A man’s best fortune, or his worst, is his wife. Ditto for wife’s husband.
 ~quotes about Family by

   Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as the earth.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Henry David Thoreau

   Go and wake up your luck. Persian Saying
 ~saying on Luck by

   Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Jerry Seinfeld

   To him in whom love dwells, the whole world is but one family.
 ~redneck by Buddha

   You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience
 ~sayings about redneck by Author Unknown

   There are two kinds of light - the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures.
 ~quotes about Light by James Thurber

   I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Allen H. Neuharth

   Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
 ~saying on America by Robert Orben

   I know God will not give me anything I can't handleI just wish that He didn't trust me so much
 ~funny redneck sayings by Mother Teresa

   It is good to be alone in a garden at dawn or dark so that all its shy presences may haunt you and possess you in a reverie of suspended thought.
 ~redneck by James Douglas, Down Shoe Lane

   A man hasn't got a corner on virtue just because his shoes are shined.
 ~sayings about redneck by Anne Petry

    Don't worry about what's ahead. Just go as far as you can go - from there you can see farther
 ~quotes about Worry by David Letterman

   Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Oscar Wilde

   In every age the good old days were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them.
 ~saying on Miscellaneous by Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951

   For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
 ~funny redneck sayings by Author Unknown

   When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.
 ~redneck by Joyce Brothers

   If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.
 ~sayings about redneck by Author Unknown

   If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost.
 ~quotes about Fear by Lloyd Douglas

   A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death
 ~funny redneck sayings by Albert Einstein

   I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
 ~saying on Baseball by Rogers Hornsby

   When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas timeWhy are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
 ~funny redneck sayings by G.K. Chesterton

   The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
 ~redneck by Ambrose Bierce


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