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funny quotes and phrase generated randomly from our collections

free inspirational saying,inspirational quotes for volunteer,famous athlete quotes,funny south park quotes,good man quotes,

   Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.
 ~quotes about God by Eugene O'Neill, The Great God Brown, 1926

   Capital punishment: The income tax.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Jeff Hayes

   The world just does not fit conveniently into the format of a 35mm camera.
 ~saying on Photography by W. Eugene Smith

   The gap in our economy is between what we have and what we think we ought to have - and that is a moral problem, not an economic one.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Paul Heyne

   Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal
 ~phrase by Tupac Shakur

   Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister.
 ~sayings about phrase by Alice Walker

   It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you
 ~quotes about Independence Day by Dick Cheney

   You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Steven D. Woodhull

   All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
 ~saying on Religion by Cathy Ladman

   All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Chris Hart

   The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.
 ~phrase by Beatrice & Ira Freeman

   Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
 ~sayings about phrase by H.G. Wells, The Outline of History

   The good news: Computers allow us to work 100% faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more work
 ~quotes about Computers by Unknown

   One man with courage makes a majority.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Andrew Jackson

   Few women and fewer men have enough character to be idle.
 ~saying on Idleness by E.V. Lucas

   Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Cree Indian Proverb

   The man with a clear conscience probably has a poor memory.
 ~phrase by Author Unknown

   We cannot, by total reliance on law, escape the duty to judge right and wrong.... There are good laws and there are occasionally bad laws, and it conforms to the highest traditions of a free society to offer resistance to bad laws, and to disobey them
 ~sayings about phrase by Alexander Bickel

   A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad
 ~quotes about Graduation by Theodore Roosevelt

   If a man be gracious to strangers, it shows that he is a citizen of the world, and his heart is no island, cut off from other islands, but a continent that joins them.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Francis Bacon

   Human history begins with man's act of disobedience which is at the very same time the beginning of his freedom and development of his reason.
 ~saying on Civil Disobedience by Erich Fromm, Psychoanalysis and Religion

   It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Author Unknown

   Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at
 ~phrase by Author Unknown

   Wisdom is ofttimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar.
 ~sayings about phrase by William Wordsworth

   The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants.
 ~quotes about Gifts by John Andrew Holmes

   Courage is... the knowledge of how to fear what ought to be feared and how not to fear what ought not to be feared.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by David Ben-Gurion

   They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.
 ~saying on Money by Kahlil Gibran

   Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Scottish Proverb

   If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble
 ~phrase by Bob Hope

   The observances of the church concerning feasts and fasts are tolerably well-kept, since the rich keep the feasts and the poor keep the fasts.
 ~sayings about phrase by Sydney Smith

   Those obsessed with health are not healthy; the first requisite of good health is a certain calculated carelessness about oneself.
 ~quotes about Health by Sydney J. Harris

   If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Gelett Burgess

   I do like Christmas on the whole.... In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and GoodwillBut it is clumsier every year
 ~saying on Christmas by E.M. Forster

   Family is just accident.... They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't even mean to be your family, they just are.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Marsha Norman

   You know you've reached middle age when a doctor, not a policeman, tells you to slow down, all you exercise are your prerogatives and it takes you longer to rest than to get tired.
 ~phrase by Author Unknown

   Before you consult your wants, consult your purse.
 ~sayings about phrase by

   It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes.
 ~quotes about Clothing by Henry David Thoreau

   Harmony seldom makes a headline.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Silas Bent

   I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.
 ~saying on Patriotism by Abraham Lincoln

   Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Diogenes

   Some people say soccer's a matter of life or death, but it isn't. It's much more important than that.
 ~phrase by Variation of a famous saying

   Have you hugged yourself today?
 ~sayings about phrase by Anonymous

   There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's.
 ~quotes about Weather by Clyde Moore

   Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Chinese Proverb

   To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful.
 ~saying on Dancing by Agnes De Mille

   Put a grain of boldness into everything you do.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Baltasar Gracian

   Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind.
 ~phrase by Austin O'Malley

   Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
 ~sayings about phrase by H.L. Mencken, 1956

   ...this planet is covered with sordid men who demand that he who spends time fishing shall show returns in fish.
 ~quotes about Fishing by Leonidas Hubbard, Jr.

   Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Paul Boese

   I also realized that the philosophers, far from ridding me of my vain doubts, only multiplied the doubts that tormented me and failed to remove any one of them. So I chose another guide and said, Let me follow the Inner Light; it will not lead me so far astray as others have done, or if it does it will be my own fault, and I shall not go so far wrong if I follow my own illusions as if I trusted to their deceits.
 ~saying on Philosophy by Jean Jacques Rousseau

   A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by George Rosenbaum

   It seemed to be a necessary ritual that he should prepare himself for sleep by meditating under the solemnity of the night sky... a mysterious transaction between the infinity of the soul and the infinity of the universe.
 ~phrase by Victor Hugo

   It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary be rich
 ~sayings about phrase by Alan Alda

   Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.
 ~quotes about Courage by Michel de Montaigne

   My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Ellen DeGeneres

   To find and fill his right place is success for everyone.
 ~saying on Success by

   I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
 ~funny quotes and phrase by Elaine Boosler

   Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying(Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more oftenUsually it makes the kid laughSometimes it s
 ~phrase by P.J. O'Rourke


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