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funny quote on shirt generated randomly from our collections

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   Make sure to send a lazy man the angel of death
 ~quotes about Death by Jewish Proverb

   I believe there are more urgent and honorable occupations than the incomparable waste of time we call suffering.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Colette

   Men weary as much of not doing the things they want to do as of doing the things they do not want to do.
 ~saying on Being Yourself by Eric Hoffer

   Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
 ~funny quote on shirt by David Star Jordan, The Philosophy of Despair

   The only fully educated people are self-educated.
 ~shirt by

   The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
 ~sayings about shirt by Jacqueline Schiff

   Today is the last day of some of your life.
 ~quotes about Humorous by Author Unknown

   No place affords a more striking conviction of the vanity of human hopes than a public library.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Samuel Johnson

   I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.
 ~saying on Women by George Meredith

   We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way
 ~funny quote on shirt by Author Unknown

   I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
 ~shirt by Peter De Vries

   Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
 ~sayings about shirt by Anaïs Nin, Diary, 1969

   I've fallen in love many times... always with you
 ~quotes about I Love You by Author Unknown

   The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Epictetus

   Writers would be warm, loyal, and otherwise terrific people--if only they'd stop writing
 ~saying on Movie by Laura Miller

   This is perhaps the most beautiful time in human history; it is really pregnant with all kinds of creative possibilities made possible by science and technology which now constitute the slave of man - if man is not enslaved by it.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Jonas Salk

   From what we get, we can make a living;
what we give, however, makes a life.
 ~shirt by Arthur Ashe

   If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles
 ~sayings about shirt by Doug Larson

   All religions issue bibles against him, and say most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side.
 ~quotes about Perspective by Mark Twain, about the Devil

   Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible. I think it's in my basement... let me go upstairs and check.
 ~funny quote on shirt by M.C. Escher

   All men have a reason, but not all men can give a reason.
 ~saying on Perspective by John Henry Cardinal Newman

   We did not hesitate to call our movement an armyBut it was a special army, with no supplies but its sincerity, no uniform but its determination, no arsenal except its faith, no currency but its conscience
 ~funny quote on shirt by Martin Luther King, Jr., Why We Can't Wait, 1963

   Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep.
 ~shirt by Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750

   Western society has accepted as unquestionable a technological imperative that is quite as arbitrary as the most primitive taboo: not merely the duty to foster invention and constantly to create technological novelties, but equally the duty to surrender to these novelties unconditionally, just because they are offered, without respect to their human consequences.
 ~sayings about shirt by Lewis Mumford

   Give us this day our daily bread is probably the most perfectly constructed and useful sentence ever set down in the English language.
 ~quotes about Prayer by P.J. Wingate

   One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters
 ~funny quote on shirt by George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

   In most betting shops you will see three windows marked Bet Here, but only one window with the legend Pay Out.
 ~saying on Gambling by Jeffrey Bernard

   There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Mother Teresa

   Hear! hear! screamed the jay from a neighboring tree, where I had heard a tittering for some time, winter has a concentrated and nutty kernel, if you know where to look for it.
 ~shirt by Henry David Thoreau, 28 November 1858 journal entry

   Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
 ~sayings about shirt by Lillian Dickson

   There is a loftier ambition than merely to stand high in the world. It is to stoop down and lift mankind a little higher
 ~quotes about Mankind by Henry Van Dyke

   Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Francesca M. Cancian

   It's the menace that everyone loves to hate but can't seem to live without.
 ~saying on Television by Paddy Chayevsky

   I have made the tough decisions, always with an eye toward the bottom line. Perhaps it's time America was run like a business.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Donald Trump

   Socrates learned to dance when he was seventy because he felt that an essential part of himself had been neglected.
 ~shirt by Source Unknown

   A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
 ~sayings about shirt by Charles Evans Hughes

   Nothing is certain but death and taxes. Of the two, taxes happen annually
 ~quotes about Death by Joel Fox

   There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Edwin Denby

   Nature is the art of God.
 ~saying on Nature by Thomas Browne, Religio Medici, 1635

   Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
 ~funny quote on shirt by William Shakespeare

   Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.
 ~shirt by Jim Murray

   By the accident of fortune
a man may rule the world for a time,
but by virtue of love and kindness
he may rule the world forever.
 ~sayings about shirt by Lao-Tse

   Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
 ~quotes about Heartache by Charlie Brown

   My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1968

   Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single
 ~saying on Weddings by Author Unknown

   I hate American simplicity. I glory in the piling up of complications of every sort. If I could pronounce the name James in any different or more elaborate way I should be in favor of doing it.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Henry James

   True friends stab you in the front.
 ~shirt by Oscar Wilde

   Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
 ~sayings about shirt by Sam Levenson

   Flying is the second best thrill to cheerleaders; being caught is the first.
 ~quotes about Cheerleading by Author Unknown

   I hire tea by the tea bag.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Martin Amis, on renting the essentials of life after breaking up with a lover, Money: A Suicide Note

   Soul meets soul on lovers' lips
 ~saying on Valentine's Day by Percy Bysshe Shelley

   Life is made up of constant calls to action, and we seldom have time for more than hastily contrived answers.
 ~funny quote on shirt by Learned Hand

   If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.
 ~shirt by Toni Morrison

   If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken Him completely by surprise.
 ~sayings about shirt by P.Z. Pearce

   A private man, however successful in his own dealing, if his country perish is involved in her destruction; but if he be an unprosperous citizen of a prosperous city, he is much more likely to recover. Seeing, then, that States can bear the misfortunes of individuals, but individuals cannot bear the misfortunes of States, let us all stand by our country.
 ~quotes about Patriotism by Thucydides

   Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible
 ~funny quote on shirt by Marion C. Garretty

   I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared that the sense of being perfectly well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow.
 ~saying on Clothing by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims

   The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound.
 ~funny quote on shirt by George Bernard Shaw

   If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
 ~shirt by Clement Freud, The Observer, 27 December 1964


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