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funny quote by famous people generated randomly from our collections

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   When one tears away the veils and shows them naked, people's souls give off such a pungent smell of decay.
 ~quotes about Soul by Octave Mirbeau

   It would not be at all strange if history came to the conclusion that the perfection of the bicycle was the greatest incident of the nineteenth century.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Author Unknown

   Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are.
 ~saying on Compliments by Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1899

   Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Eric Hoffer

   Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
 ~by people by Author Unknown

   A slip of the foot, you’ll soon recover; a slip of the tongue may last forever.
 ~sayings about by people by

   Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
 ~quotes about Golf by Bob Hope

   If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation?
 ~funny quote by famous people by Author Unknown

   We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.
 ~saying on Community by Herman Melville

   Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever
 ~funny quote by famous people by Don Marquis

   If you want to understand today, you have to search yesterday.
 ~by people by Pearl Buck

   Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.
 ~sayings about by people by Edmund Burke

   Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
 ~quotes about Clothing by Benny Hill

   Boredom is a vital problem of the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it
 ~funny quote by famous people by Bertrand Russell, philosopher and logician

   If everyone were clothed with integrity, if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well-nigh useless, since their chief purpose is to make us bear with patience the injustice of our fellows.
 ~saying on Integrity by Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Misanthrope

   You must be the change you wish to see in the world
 ~funny quote by famous people by Mahatma Ghandi

   It is a revenge the devil sometimes takes upon the virtuous, that he entraps them by the force of the very passion they have suppressed and think themselves superior to.
 ~by people by George Santayana

   God gave burdens, also shoulders
 ~sayings about by people by Yiddish Proverb

   Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
 ~quotes about Humor by Mark Twain

   Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Mark Twain

   No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
 ~saying on Women by H.L. Mencken

   If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Ashleigh Brilliant

   A lawyer is a gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself.
 ~by people by Lord Brougham

   We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams
 ~sayings about by people by Arthur O'Shaughnessy

   Basketball, hockey and track meets are action heaped upon action, climax upon climax, until the onlooker's responses become deadened. Baseball is for the leisurely afternoons of summer and for the unchanging dreams.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Roger Kahn

   Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect!
 ~funny quote by famous people by Owens Lee Pomeroy

   Present your family and friends with their eulogies now - they won't be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin.
 ~saying on Relationships by Anonymous

   Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

   The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
 ~by people by Pete Dye

   Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
 ~sayings about by people by Zora Neale Hurston

   Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.
 ~quotes about Self Discipline by Stephen Covey

   This is either a forgery or a damn clever original.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Frank Sullivan

   We must not be forced to explore the universe in search of a new home because we have made the Earth inhospitable, even uninhabitable. For if we do not solve the environmental and related social problems that beset us on Earth - pollution, toxic contamination, resource depletion, prejudice, poverty, hunger - those problems will surely accompany us to other worlds.
 ~saying on Environment by Donald G. Kaufman and Cecilia M. Franz, Biosphere 2000: Protecting Our Global Environment, 1996

   If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Lee Trevino

   Mother Nature is wonderful. Children get too old for piggy-back rides just about the same time they get too heavy for them.
 ~by people by Author Unknown

   Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
 ~sayings about by people by Jeff Daly

   Hatred is one long wait.
 ~quotes about Hate by René Maran

   Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas.
 ~funny quote by famous people by J.K. Rowling, The Egg and The Eye, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, spoken by the characte

   A handful of pine-seed will cover mountains with the green majesty of a forestI too will set my face to the wind and throw my handful of seed on high
 ~saying on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Fiona MacLeod

   The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Doris Lessing

   There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
 ~by people by Ken Olson

   There are moments when art attains almost to the dignity of manual labor.
 ~sayings about by people by Author Unknown

   It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
 ~quotes about Men by Helen Rowland

   If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Leon Eldred

   Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven
 ~saying on Goodbye by Tryon Edwards

   The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before youThen do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily
 ~funny quote by famous people by Robert Louis Stevenson

   Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, It’s about dancing in the rain.
 ~by people by Nidokidos

   The expenses of government, having for their object the interest of all, should be borne by everyone, and the more a man enjoys the advantages of society, the more he ought to hold himself honored in contributing to those expenses.
 ~sayings about by people by Anne Robert Jacques Turgot

   No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
 ~quotes about Light by Terry Pratchett

   The only things needed for practicing yoga are a yoga mat, relaxing background music, comfortable exercise clothing, and bones made of rubber.
 ~funny quote by famous people by The Quote Garden

   Watch your thoughts; they become words.Watch your words; they become actions.Watch your actions; they become habits.Watch your habits; they become character.Watch your character; it becomes your destiny
 ~saying on Motivation by Frank Outlaw

   Let the credulous and the vulgar continue to believe that all mental woes can be cured by a daily application of old Greek myths to their private parts.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Vladimir Nabokov, 1951

   Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.
 ~by people by Robert A. Heinlein

   I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
 ~sayings about by people by Max Kauffman

   Yard by yard, all tasks are hard; inch by inch, they’re all cinch.
 ~quotes about Self Discipline by

   I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
 ~funny quote by famous people by George Bernard Shaw, 28 August 1896

   First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
 ~saying on Self Confidence by Mahatma Gandhi

   Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.
 ~funny quote by famous people by Ayn Rand

   As experience widens, one begins to see how much upon a level all human things are.
 ~by people by Joseph Farrell


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