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funny poem and sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   Justice is incidental to law and order.
 ~quotes about Justice by John Edgar Hoover

   Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Friedrich Nietzche, Human, All Too Human, 1879

   Live a balanced life - Learn some and think some, and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some
 ~saying on Dance by Robert Fulghum

   No one wants to hear about the labor pains, they just want to see the baby
 ~funny poem and sayings by Lou Brock

   The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.
 ~poem by Ronald Firbank

   England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example.
 ~sayings about poem by Robert Benchley

   At first sight, wise sayings seem monotonous, dull reading. But persist. They’ll become more thrilling than golf, fishing, or ordinary reading.
 ~quotes about Self Improvement by

   I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
 ~funny poem and sayings by George Carlin

   Dread of this horrible epidemic is a dim memory confined to history books. But antibiotic-resistant plague is alive and well. and if it is used as a weapon, no one will be safe
 ~saying on Death by Wendy Orent

   We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Aesop

   No, I don't take soup. You can't build a meal on a lake.
 ~poem by Elsie de Wolfe (Lady Mendl)

   To get to a woman's heart, a man must first use his own.
 ~sayings about poem by Mike Dobbertin, quoted in A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul

   Democracy cannot flourish half rich and half poor, any more than it can flourish half free and half slave.
 ~quotes about Government by Felix G. Rohatyn, New York Times, 3 June 1987

   No city should be too large for a man to walk out of in a morning.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Cyril Connolly

   I married beneath me - all women do.
 ~saying on Women by Nancy Astor, speech, Oldham, England, 1951

   Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out
 ~funny poem and sayings by Art Linkletter

   When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.
 ~poem by Larry Lujack

   We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart... and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together.... I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude.
 ~sayings about poem by Helen Hayes

   We have a world for each one, but we do not have a world for all.
 ~quotes about Humankind by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   The tattoo attracts and also repels precisely because it is different.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Margo DeMello, Bodies of Inscription: A Cultural History of the Modern Tattoo Community, 2000

   Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate.
 ~saying on Women by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   If you can speak three languages you're trilingual. If you can speak two languages you're bilingual. If you can speak only one language you're an American.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Author Unknown

   Not only is women's work never done, the definition keeps changing.
 ~poem by Bill Copeland

   Money does not pay for anything, never has, never will. It is an economic axiom as old as the hills that goods and services can be paid for only with goods and services.
 ~sayings about poem by Albert Jay Nock, Memoirs of a Superfluous Man, 1943

   Vanity is so secure in the heart of man that everyone wants to be admired: even I who write this, and you who read this.
 ~quotes about Vanity by Blaise Pascal

   You go into a community and they will vote 80 percent to 20 percent in favor of a tougher Clean Air Act, but if you ask them to devote 20 minutes a year to having their car emissions inspected, they will vote 80 to 20 against it. We are a long way in this country from taking individual responsibility for the environmental problem.
 ~funny poem and sayings by William D. Ruckelshaus, former EPA administrator, New York Times, 30 November 1988

   A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
 ~saying on Laughter by Irish Proverb

   The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Eli Khamarov, Surviving on Planet Reebok

   Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
 ~poem by Sydney J. Harris

   Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
 ~sayings about poem by Marcel Proust

   The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it
 ~quotes about Boss Day by Theodore Roosevelt

   A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Oscar Wilde

   All art requires courage.
 ~saying on Art by Anne Tucker

   In the end, poverty, putridity and pestilence; work, wealth and worry; health, happiness and hell, all simmer down into village problems.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Martin H. Fischer

   The horror of that moment, the King went on, "I shall never, never forget!" "You will, though," the Queen said, "if you don't make a memorandum of it
 ~poem by Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass, 1872

   It takes an athlete to dance, but an artist to be a dancer.
 ~sayings about poem by Shanna LaFleur

   In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.
 ~quotes about Optimism Pessimism by Daniel L. Reardon

   He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Harold Wilson

   They have stopped deceiving you, not loving you. And it seems to you that they have stopped loving you.
 ~saying on Hawww by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve

   They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.
 ~poem by William Shakespeare

   A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.
 ~sayings about poem by Author Unknown

   Boredom and monotony are sure ways of separating men from mere boys.
 ~quotes about Maturing Altruistically by

   The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Elizabeth Metcalf

   What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you.
 ~saying on Love by Author Unknown

   It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools
 ~funny poem and sayings by Spanish Proverb

   They say a reasonable amount 'o fleas is good fer a dog - keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog, mebbe.
 ~poem by Edward Westcott

   Economy is half the battle of life. If you spend all you earn as you go, you won’t go far.
 ~sayings about poem by

   A cruel story runs on wheels, and every hand oils the wheels as they run.
 ~quotes about Gossip by Ouida

   Deeds, not creeds, are the true measure of a man.
 ~funny poem and sayings by

   Without music life would be a mistake.
 ~saying on Music by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

   If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Robert G. Ingersoll

   How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
 ~poem by Barry Lopez, Arctic Dreams

   When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
 ~sayings about poem by From the movie When Harry Met Sally

   The insufferable arrogance of human beings to think that Nature was made solely for their benefit, as if it was conceivable that the sun had been set afire merely to ripen men's apples and head their cabbages.
 ~quotes about Environment by Savinien de Cyrano de Bergerac, États et empires de la lune, 1656

   You have it in your power to turn a bad-beat around simply by realizing this simple truth: The more bad beats you encounter, the luckier you are. It's a sign that you are playing against opponents who continually take the worst of it, and if you can't beat someone who always takes the worst of it, you can't beat anyone.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Lou Krieger

   Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.
 ~saying on Action by Baltasar Gracian

   The true peace of God begins at any spot a thousand miles from the nearest land.
 ~funny poem and sayings by Joseph Conrad

   Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.
 ~poem by Nicolas de Chamfort


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