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funny picture sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
 ~quotes about Dogs by Andy Rooney

   Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself.
 ~funny picture sayings by Gerald Brenan

   I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
 ~saying on Luck by Thomas Jefferson

   I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake.
 ~funny picture sayings by Author Unknown

   I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
 ~picture by Woody Allen

   In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years.
 ~sayings about picture by Jacques Barzun

   It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.
 ~quotes about Religion by G.K. Chesterton

   You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
 ~funny picture sayings by Anne Lamott

   Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
 ~saying on Grandparents by Doug Larson

   When the wine goes in, strange things come out
 ~funny picture sayings by Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799

   All the mistakes I make arise from forsaking my own station and trying to see the object from another person's point of view.
 ~picture by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.
 ~sayings about picture by Clarence Budington Kelland

   When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened
 ~quotes about Death by Sir Winston Churchill

   Nurses can take the pressure.
 ~funny picture sayings by Author Unknown

   All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.
 ~saying on Attitude by Martin Luther King, Jr.

   The concern that some women show at the absence of their husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them and being with them, but from their apprehension that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which they do not participate, and which, from their being at a distance, they have not the power of interrupting.
 ~funny picture sayings by Michel de Montaigne

   Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at batThen fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's moundPut first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three togetherOf course, in case of rain, you gott
 ~picture by Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

   Flip yoga backwards, throw in an n, and you've got agony.
 ~sayings about picture by The Quote Garden

   I just wish my mouth had a backspace key.
 ~quotes about Computers by Author Unknown

   Profit in business comes from repeat customers, customers that boast about your project or service, and that bring friends with them
 ~funny picture sayings by W. Edwards Deming

   I think we may safely trust a good deal more than we do.
 ~saying on Chakras by Henry David Thoreau

   When we lose God, it is not God who is lost.
 ~funny picture sayings by Author Unknown

   Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
 ~picture by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.
 ~sayings about picture by Charles Pierce, 1980

   Look to this day; for it is life, the very life of life! In its brief span lie all the opportunities of your existence, the bliss of growth, the glory of action, the splendor of adventure.
 ~quotes about Living by

   Half the promises people say were never kept, were never made.
 ~funny picture sayings by Edgar Watson Howe

   Nothing is more precious than time – nor less valued. It’s richest treasure. Invest it profitably.
 ~saying on Self Improvement by

   No man does right by a woman at a party.
 ~funny picture sayings by Harry Golden

   By gaming we lose both our time and treasure - two things most precious to the life of man.
 ~picture by Owen Felltham

   The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
 ~sayings about picture by Author Unknown

   I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
 ~quotes about Quotations by Michel De Montaigne

   Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be.
 ~funny picture sayings by Wayne Gretzky

   Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children
 ~saying on Mothers Day by Marilyn Penland

   If you keep your mouth shut you will never put your foot in it.
 ~funny picture sayings by Austin O'Malley

   Lady Liberty needs glasses
 ~picture by Tupac Shakur

   Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another.
 ~sayings about picture by John Dewey

   Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
 ~quotes about Attitude by Robert Brault

   Don't think you're on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.
 ~funny picture sayings by Author Unknown

   War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting?
 ~saying on Homosexuality by The Value of Families

   Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.
 ~funny picture sayings by Edward de Bono, Observer, 12 June 1977

   There is always something left to love. And if you haven't learned that, you ain't learned nothing
 ~picture by Lorraine Hansberry

   My only fear of death is coming back reincarnated
 ~sayings about picture by Tupac Shakur

   Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
 ~quotes about Virtue by Henry David Thoreau

   Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
 ~funny picture sayings by Author Unknown

   Fame is proof that the people are gullible.
 ~saying on Society by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!
 ~funny picture sayings by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Tell me what you read and I'll tell you who you are is true enough, but I'd know you better if you told me what you reread.
 ~picture by François Mauriac

   Strange...a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness multiplied seventy times seven and invented Hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!
 ~sayings about picture by Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger

   Tennis is an addiction that once it has truly hooked a man will not let him go.
 ~quotes about Tennis by Russell Lynes

   When I was twelve, I went hunting with my father and we shot a bird. He was laying there and something struck me. Why do we call this fun to kill this creature [who] was as happy as I was when I woke up this morning.
 ~funny picture sayings by Marv Levy

   Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
 ~saying on Being Yourself by Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905

   Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away
 ~funny picture sayings by Unknown

   We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.
 ~picture by Seneca

   Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome
 ~sayings about picture by Isaac Asimov

   A veteran USDA meat inspector from Texas describes what he has seen: Cattle dragged and choked... knocking 'em four, five, ten times. Every now and then when they're stunned they come back to life, and they're up there agonizing. They're supposed to be re-stunned but sometimes they aren't and they'll go through the skinning process alive. I've worked in four large [slaughterhouses] and a bunch of small ones. They're all the same. If people were to see this, they'd probably feel really bad about it. But in a packing house everybody gets so used to it that it doesn't mean anything.
 ~quotes about Vegetarianism by Slaughterhouse 1997

   The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
 ~funny picture sayings by Elbert Hubbard, The Note Book, 1927

   Steeds, steeds, what steeds! Has the whirlwind a home in your manes?
 ~saying on Horses by Nikolay Gogol

   Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
 ~funny picture sayings by Joseph Wood Krutch

   In most sciences one generation tears down what another has built and what one has established another undoes. In mathematics alone each generations adds a new story to the old structure.
 ~picture by Hermann Hankel


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