funny old sayings and quotations on old sayings

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funny old sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   I merely observe that all living things are manipulated. As long as there is a will, it is bent and twisted constantly. Only the dead are allowed the luxury of freedom, and then only because they want nothing, and therefore can't be thwarted.
 ~quotes about Conformity by Orson Scott Card

   You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.
 ~funny old sayings by Vernon Howard

   Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles.
 ~saying on Adversity by Maltbie D. Babcock

   Baseball is reassuring. It makes me feel as if the world is not going to blow up.
 ~funny old sayings by Sharon Olds, This Sporting Life, 1987

   What love is I don't know if it's not the response of our deepest natures to one another.
 ~old by William Carlos Williams

   Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
 ~sayings about old by Abraham Lincoln

   Happiness is a way station between too little and too much.
 ~quotes about Happiness by Channing Pollock, Mr. Moneypenny

   We live under a government of men and morning newspapers.
 ~funny old sayings by Wendell Phillips

   The dying process begins the minute we are born, but it accelerates during dinner parties.
 ~saying on Parties by Carol Matthau

   You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same
 ~funny old sayings by Unknown

   Man - a reasoning rather than a reasonable animal.
 ~old by Alexander Hamilton

   Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person
 ~sayings about old by Mother Teresa

   Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
 ~quotes about Life by Mark Twain

   Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker
 ~funny old sayings by Author Unknown

   I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
 ~saying on Kisses by Chico Marx

   Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving
 ~funny old sayings by W.T. Purkiser

   They... threw themselves into the interests of the rest, but each plowed his or her own furrow. Their thoughts, their little passions and hopes and desires, all ran along separate lines. Family life is like this - animated, but collateral.
 ~old by Rose Macaulay

   Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
 ~sayings about old by Langston Hughes

   Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Toby Harrah, 1983

   If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life.
 ~funny old sayings by Abraham H. Maslow

   The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree
 ~saying on Memorial Day by Thomas Campbell

   Pity the man who is content with what he is doing and thinking – where nothing inside him is urging him to something bigger and better – that bigger and grander man he was meant to be.
 ~funny old sayings by

   I am at two with nature.
 ~old by Woody Allen

   History never looks like history when you are living through it.
 ~sayings about old by John W. Gardner

   A man is only a leader when a follower stands beside him.
 ~quotes about Leadership by Mark Brouwer

   Don't vote, it only encourages them.
 ~funny old sayings by Author Unknown

   Science, in the very act of solving problems, creates more of them.
 ~saying on Science by Abraham Flexner, Universities, 1930

   Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt.
 ~funny old sayings by Clarence Darrow

   We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt...
 ~old by Dorothy Day

   Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money
 ~sayings about old by Author Unknown

   Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
 ~quotes about Ignorance by Author unknown, supposedly from a Washington Post reader submission word contest in which readers we

   No creature is fully itself till it is, like the dandelion, opened in the bloom of pure relationship to the sun, the entire living cosmos.
 ~funny old sayings by D.H. Lawrence

   Language is the dress of thought.
 ~saying on Language by Samuel Johnson

   Saints are sinners who kept on going.
 ~funny old sayings by Robert Louis Stevenson

   If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons.
 ~old by C.S. Lewis

   The truth brings with it a great measure of absolution, always.
 ~sayings about old by R.D. Laing

   There are no uninteresting subjects, only uninteresting people. Some folks learn more in a walk around the block than others in trip around the world.
 ~quotes about Self Improvement by

   Starkle, starkle little twink, who da hell you are i think. I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am. Besides I've only had tee martoonies and all day sober to Sunday up in. I fool so feelish, i don't know whos me yet, but the drunker I sit here, the longer I get
 ~funny old sayings by Unknown

   One of the greatest labor-saving inventions of today is tomorrow.
 ~saying on Procrastination by Vincent T. Foss

   A man without religion is like a horse without a bridle.
 ~funny old sayings by Latin Proverb

   If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family
 ~old by Lawrence Housman

   Hard work is often a lot of little things not done on time. Nothing saves us more time and worry than doing things when they should be done.
 ~sayings about old by

   We can often endure an extra pound of pain far more easily than we can suffer the withdrawal of an ounce of accustomed pleasure.
 ~quotes about Pleasure by Sydney J. Harris

   In solitude, where we are least alone.
 ~funny old sayings by George Gordon, Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

   School is basically about one point of view -- the one the teacher has.
 ~saying on Success by Alan Kay

   College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
 ~funny old sayings by David Wood

   Most of the money you'll win at poker comes not from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of your opponents.
 ~old by Lou Krieger

   It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
 ~sayings about old by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance, 1841

   Why are there men and women that while they are nigh me the sunlight expands my blood? Why when they leave me do my pennants of joy sink flat and lank?
 ~quotes about People by Walt Whitman

   Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends.... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
 ~funny old sayings by Henry David Thoreau

   The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book
 ~saying on Teacher Appreciation by Author Unknown

   You are a fortunate person, indeed, if you can begin each day accepting the fact that during that day there will be ups and downs, good breaks and bad ones, disappointments, surprises, unexpected turns of events.
 ~funny old sayings by Roy Benjamin

   Half the world’s troubles come from saying yes too soon and to often and no too late and to seldom.
 ~old by

   The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him.
 ~sayings about old by Leo J. Burke

   Who among us hasn't envied a cat's ability to ignore the cares of daily life and to relax completely?
 ~quotes about Cats by Karen Brademeyer

   One must spend time in gathering knowledge to give it out richly.
 ~funny old sayings by Edward C. Steadman

   He that has a house to put's head in has a good head-piece
 ~saying on Housewarming by William Shakespeare, King Lear

   I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.
 ~funny old sayings by Winston Churchill

   He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
 ~old by Abraham Lincoln


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