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funny office quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   God gave us memories that we might have roses in December.
 ~quotes about Memory by J.M. Barrie, Courage, 1922

   Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
 ~funny office quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   No man can climb out beyond the limitations of his own character.
 ~saying on Being Yourself by John Morley

   I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
 ~funny office quotes by Rita Rudner

   We are asleep with compasses in our hands.
 ~office by W.S. Merwin

   Light can be gentle, dangerous, dreamlike, bare, living, dead, misty, clear, hot, dark, violet, springlike, falling, straight, sensual, limited, poisonous, calm and soft.
 ~sayings about office by Sven Nykvist

   I'm on my way to the airport to catch a plane that leaves in 45 minutes. The traffic is not moving one inch. I am now fascinated - not frustrated, but fascinated. But I must admit, it doesn't work every time.
 ~quotes about Self Improvement by Jim Rohn

   Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul
 ~funny office quotes by Michel de Montaigne

   Those persons who are burning to display heroism may rest assured that the course of social evolution will offer them every opportunity.
 ~saying on Society by Havelock Ellis

   Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times and under all circumstances.
 ~funny office quotes by Saint Vincent de Paul

   Make your optimism come true.
 ~office by Author Unknown

   I'm on a 90-day wonder diet. Thus far, I've lost 45 days.
 ~sayings about office by Author Unknown

   I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west
 ~quotes about Cool by Richard Jeni

   Well done is better than well said.
 ~funny office quotes by Benjamin Franklin

   Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
 ~saying on Marriage by Dr. James C. Dobson

   The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone
 ~funny office quotes by Orison Swett Marden

   It matters more what's in a woman's face than what's on it.
 ~office by Claudette Colbert, quoted in Kindling the Spirit by Lois P. Frankel

   You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.
 ~sayings about office by Author Unknown

   Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't workSomeone would leaveSomeone always leavesThen we would have to say good-byeI hate good-byesI know what I needI need more hello
 ~quotes about Goodbye by Charles M. Schulz

   Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.
 ~funny office quotes by Napoleon Hill

   I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
 ~saying on Goals by Douglas Adams

   Then there's the joy of getting your desk clean, and knowing that all your letters are answered, and you can see the wood on it again.
 ~funny office quotes by Lady Bird Johnson

   Most anthologists of quotations are like those who eat cherries or oysters: first picking the best ones and winding up by eating everything.
 ~office by Sebastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort, Maxims, 1825

   One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.
 ~sayings about office by Abe Lemmons

   There is indeed, perhaps, no better way to hold communion with the sea than sitting in the sun on the veranda of a fishermen's cafe.
 ~quotes about Water by Joseph W. Beach

   When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.
 ~funny office quotes by Confucius

   Reading wise tips creates a vision of great new life.
 ~saying on Proverbs by

   Libraries are reservoirs of strength, grace and wit, reminders of order, calm and continuity, lakes of mental energy, neither warm nor cold, light nor dark.... In any library in the world, I am at home, unselfconscious, still and absorbed.
 ~funny office quotes by Germaine Greer

   Life is like an onion; you peel off layer after layer and then you find there is nothing in it.
 ~office by James Gibbons Huneker

   The precursor of the mirror is the mother's face.
 ~sayings about office by D.W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, 1971

   The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.
 ~quotes about Family by Thomas Jefferson

   People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is.
 ~funny office quotes by James L. Framo, Explorations in Marital & Family Therapy

   Antisthenes says that in a certain faraway land the cold is so intense that words freeze as soon as they are uttered, and after some time then thaw and become audible, so that words spoken in winter go unheard until the next summer.
 ~saying on Winter by Plutarch, Moralia

   Information's pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience.
 ~funny office quotes by Clarence Day, The Crow's Nest

   For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
 ~office by Jay Leno

   Yes, Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brain. So far you are correct. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat - at least, not with certainty. If the specimen composition you send is about your fair usual average, I should judge that a couple of whales would be all you would want for the present. Not the largest kind, but simply good middling-sized whales.
 ~sayings about office by Mark Twain

   Some people are so boring that they make you waste an entire day in five minutes.
 ~quotes about Bores by Jules Renard

   Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life
 ~funny office quotes by Herbert Asquith

   A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business
 ~saying on Graduation by Henry Ford

   One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human
 ~funny office quotes by George Santayana

   I think God is a callous bitch not making me a lesbian. I'm deeply disappointed by my sexual interest in men.
 ~office by Diamanda Galas

   If you cut a thing up, of course it will smell. Hence, nothing raises such an infernal stink at last, as human psychology.
 ~sayings about office by D.H. Lawrence

   He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels.
 ~quotes about Angels by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

   The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
 ~funny office quotes by Ellen Glasgow

   Never believe in mirrors or newspapers.
 ~saying on Wise Words by Tom Stoppard

   A good cheerleader is not measured by the height of her jumps but by the span of her spirit.
 ~funny office quotes by Author Unknown

   There can be no defence like elaborate courtesy.
 ~office by E.V. Lucas

   If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.
 ~sayings about office by Dolly Parton

   Radical historians now the tell the story of Thanksgiving from the point of view of the turkey.
 ~quotes about History by Mason Cooley

   I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet.
 ~funny office quotes by Tommy Docherty, 1980

   There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
 ~saying on Sex by Billy Joel

   We are imperfect. We cannot expect perfect government.
 ~funny office quotes by William Howard Taft

   Puritans will never believe it, but life is full of disagreeable things that aren't even good for you.
 ~office by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden
 ~sayings about office by Attributed to Claudia Ghandi

   Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.
 ~quotes about Action by Peter Marshall

   Man must feel the earth to know himself and recognize his values.... God made life simpleIt is man who complicates it
 ~funny office quotes by Charles A. Lindbergh, Reader's Digest, July 1972

   Are we going to be friends forever? Asked Piglet. Even longer, Pooh answered
 ~saying on Friends by Winnie the Pooh

   Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time
 ~funny office quotes by Jean Paul Richter

   The day will happen whether or not you get up.
 ~office by John Ciardi


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