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funny msn quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Upon the whole, I am inclined to think that the far greater part, if not all, of those difficulties which have hitherto amused philosophers, and blocked up the way to knowledge, are entirely owing to our selves. That we have first raised a dust, and then complain, we cannot see.
 ~quotes about Philosophy by George Berkeley

   Day, like a weary pilgrim, had reached the western gate of heaven, and Evening stooped down to unloose the latchets of his sandal shoon.
 ~funny msn quotes by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion

   Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacherThat is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number
 ~saying on Teacher Appreciation by Author Unknown

   Nothing got without pains but an ill name and long nails.
 ~funny msn quotes by Scottish Proverb

   Rain! whose soft architectural hands have power to cut stones, and chisel to shapes of grandeur the very mountains.
 ~msn by Henry Ward Beecher

   Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
 ~sayings about msn by David Dunham

   I remembered a story of how Bach was approached by a young admirer one day and asked, But Papa Bach, how do you manage to think of all these new tunes? My dear fellow, Bach is said to have answered, according to my version, I have no need to think of them. I have the greatest difficulty not to step on them when I get out of bed in the morning and start moving around my room.
 ~quotes about Miscellaneous by Laurens Van der Post

   Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
 ~funny msn quotes by Fred Allen

   I know a lot of people without brains who do an awful lot of talking.
 ~saying on Relationship by Scarecrow

   If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam.
 ~funny msn quotes by Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)

   I not only bow to the inevitable; I am fortified by it.
 ~msn by Thornton Wilder

   Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
 ~sayings about msn by Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975

   Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as the earth
 ~quotes about Earth Day by Henry David Thoreau

   I just think it's important to be direct and honest with people about why you're photographing them and what you're doing. After all, you are taking some of their soul.
 ~funny msn quotes by Mary Ellen Mark

   Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.
 ~saying on Mothers by William Makepeace Thackeray

   If you're going through hell, keep going.
 ~funny msn quotes by Winston Churchill

   The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does.
 ~msn by Phil Woosnam, 1974

   It is unfortunate we can't buy many business executives for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth.
 ~sayings about msn by Malcolm Forbes

   If the universe has any purpose more important then topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I have never heard of it
 ~quotes about Love by Rabert A. Henlein Lazarus Long

   Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.
 ~funny msn quotes by Shana Alexander

   I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to
 ~saying on Music by Elvis Presley

   The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it
 ~funny msn quotes by Moliere

   Question: I understand that Congress is considering a so-called 'flat' tax system. How would this work? Answer: If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to fill out any complicated forms, and there would be no loopholes for politically connected groups, and normal people would actually understand the tax laws, and giant talking broccoli stalks would come around and mow your lawn for free, because Congress is NOT going to pass a flat tax, you pathetic fool.
 ~msn by Dave Barry

   Money was invented so we could know exactly how much we owe
 ~sayings about msn by Cullen Hightower

   Don't be too harsh to these poems until they're typed. I always think typescript lends some sort of certainty: at least, if the things are bad then, they appear to be bad with conviction.
 ~quotes about Writing by Dylan Thomas, letter to Vernon Watkins, March 1938

   If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
 ~funny msn quotes by Louise Sammons

   Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude
 ~saying on Thanksgiving Day by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

   These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves
 ~funny msn quotes by Gilbert Highet

   History is an argument without end.
 ~msn by Pieter Geyl

   It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.
 ~sayings about msn by Mick Jagger

   Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
 ~quotes about Food by Fran Lebowitz

   Oratory is the power to talk people out of their sober and natural opinions.
 ~funny msn quotes by Joseph Chatfield

   One must learn a different... sense of time, one that depends more on small amounts than big ones.
 ~saying on Time by Sister Mary Paul

   The past is never dead, it is not even past.
 ~funny msn quotes by William Faulkner

   Carry laughter with you wherever you go.
 ~msn by Hugh Sidey

   We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them.
 ~sayings about msn by Charles C. West

   Why is there only one ball for 22 players? If you gave a ball to each of them, they'd stop fighting for it.
 ~quotes about Soccer by Author Unknown

   Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.
 ~funny msn quotes by Rita Rudner

   Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
 ~saying on Genius by Mark Twain

   Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
 ~funny msn quotes by Indian Proverb

   Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.
 ~msn by Bill Gates, Business @ the Speed of Thought

   Eggs cannot be unscrambled.
 ~sayings about msn by American Proverb

   If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.
 ~quotes about Golf by H.L. Mencken

   Let's hope the institution of marriage survives its detractors, for without it there would be no more adultery and without adultery two thirds of our novelists would stand in line for unemployment checks.
 ~funny msn quotes by Peter S. Prescott

   The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
 ~saying on Computers by Andrew Brown

   Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than polish.
 ~funny msn quotes by Anne Bradstreet

   Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.
 ~msn by Percy Bysshe Shelley, Prometheus Unbound

   Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.
 ~sayings about msn by Henry Ward Beecher

   He bites his tongue who speaks in haste.
 ~quotes about Haste by Turkish Proverb

   Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future.
 ~funny msn quotes by Gail Lumet Buckley

   Most smiles are start by other smiles so smile first.
 ~saying on Friendship by

   I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
 ~funny msn quotes by Jack Benny

   Nations have recently been led to borrow billions for war; no nation has ever borrowed largely for education. Probably, no nation is rich enough to pay for both war and civilization. We must make our choice; we cannot have both.
 ~msn by Abraham Flexner

   Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate!
 ~sayings about msn by Author Unknown

   Business is a combination of war and sport.
 ~quotes about Business by André Maurois

   Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new type program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
 ~funny msn quotes by Art Buchwald, Adding Insult to Injury, Have I Ever Lied to You?, 1966

   Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another
 ~saying on Love Quotes by H. L. Mencken

   I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.
 ~funny msn quotes by John Waters

   I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright.
 ~msn by Henry David Thoreau


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