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funny motivational saying generated randomly from our collections

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   [History is a] mixture of error and violence.
 ~quotes about History by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

   I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes.
 ~funny motivational saying by Sara Teasdale, The Philosopher

   You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
 ~saying on Determination by Dale Carnegie

   If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
 ~funny motivational saying by Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

   Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings
 ~funny by George Will

   A man alone is not a unit of society – nor a woman alone. It requires two. Reason alone, or feeling alone is not enough for important decisions. It requires both.
 ~sayings about funny by

   Wisdom begins at the end.
 ~quotes about Wisdom by Daniel Webster

   When science discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find they are not it.
 ~funny motivational saying by Bernard Baily

   Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother
 ~saying on Mothers Day by Oprah Winfrey

   All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
 ~funny motivational saying by Maurice Maeterlinck

   We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
 ~funny by Charles Kingsley

   You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He is more particular.... The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.
 ~sayings about funny by Robert Frost

   The Master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both
 ~quotes about Education by Zen Buddhist

   Flowers never emit so sweet and strong a fragrance as before a storm. When a storm approaches thee, be as fragrant as a sweet-smelling flower.
 ~funny motivational saying by Jean Paul Richter

   But my dear man, reality is only a Rorschach ink-blot, you know.
 ~saying on Psychology by Alan Watts

   It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.
 ~funny motivational saying by John Bulwer

   One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.
 ~funny by Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, Pavarotti, My Own Story

   When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best
 ~sayings about funny by Leslie Grossman

   Tears are Summer showers to the soul.
 ~quotes about Crying by Alfred Austin, Savonarola

   People seldom improve unless they have models greater than themselves. Adopt a few.
 ~funny motivational saying by

   Money for me has only one sound: liberty
 ~saying on Money by Gabrielle Chanel

   The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
 ~funny motivational saying by Honore de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage

   Before you can begin to cook up success, you have to realize that you’re the chef. Whether you cook up a three-star Michelin meal or an inedible mess, it all comes down to you!
 ~funny by Nisandeh Neta

   Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing
 ~sayings about funny by Harriet Braiker

   The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.
 ~quotes about Statistics by Joe Stalin, comment to Churchill at Potsdam, 1945

   The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
 ~funny motivational saying by Douglas Adams

   All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
 ~saying on Changes by Anatole France

   The most absurd apology for authority and law is that they serve to diminish crime. Aside from the fact that the State is itself the greatest criminal, breaking every written and natural law, stealing in the form of taxes, killing in the form of war and capital punishment, it has come to an absolute standstill in coping with crime. It has failed utterly to destroy or even minimize the horrible scourge of its own creation.
 ~funny motivational saying by Emma Goldman, Anarchism

   A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.
 ~funny by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
 ~sayings about funny by Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842

   If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow.
 ~quotes about Fate by William McFee

   You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you, too.
 ~funny motivational saying by Roy Campanella

   Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind
 ~saying on Graduation by Dr. Seuss

   There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it.
 ~funny motivational saying by Minnie Aumonier

   Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
 ~funny by Benjamin Disraeli

   One thing kids like is to be trickedFor instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse"Oh, no," I said"Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thoug
 ~sayings about funny by Jack Handey

   I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance.
 ~quotes about Dancing by George Balanchine

   Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.
 ~funny motivational saying by unknown

   To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring - these are some of the rewards of the simple life.
 ~saying on Simplicity by John Burroughs

   As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.
 ~funny motivational saying by Zachary Scott

   A subject that is beautiful in itself gives no suggestion to the artist. It lacks imperfection.
 ~funny by Oscar Wilde

   Where liberty dwells, there is my country
 ~sayings about funny by Benjamin Franklin

   Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.
 ~quotes about Goals by Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back

   Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
 ~funny motivational saying by Robert Byrne

   I shut my eyes in order to see. Paul Gauguin
 ~saying on Spiritual by Paul Gauguin

   I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
 ~funny motivational saying by Steven Wright

   I doubt whether the world holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice cream.
 ~funny by Heywood Broun

   Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
 ~sayings about funny by G.K. Chesterton

   I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
 ~quotes about Living by Martin Luther King, Jr.

   The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
 ~funny motivational saying by Author Unknown

   Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
 ~saying on Marriage by Irwin Corey

   To the lamp of love: may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial.
 ~funny motivational saying by Author Unknown

   Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
 ~funny by John Galsworthy

   I think I should not go far wrong if I asserted that the amount of genuine leisure available in a society is generally in inverse proportion to the amount of labor-saving machinery it employs.
 ~sayings about funny by E.F. Schumacher

   There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.
 ~quotes about Feminism by Florynce Kennedy

   The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
 ~funny motivational saying by Robert M. Pirsig

   Very little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost it.
 ~saying on America by Eric Nicol

   As for my next book, I am going to hold myself from writing it till I have it impending in me: grown heavy in my mind like a ripe pear; pendant, gravid, asking to be cut or it will fall.
 ~funny motivational saying by Virginia Woolf

   Every path hath a puddle.
 ~funny by George Herbert, Jacula Prudentum


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