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funny motivational quote generated randomly from our collections

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   There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
 ~quotes about Stress by Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

   Mr. Ward, what is it that the foulest bastards on earth denounce us for, among other things? Oh yes, for our motto of 'Business as usual.' Well--business as usual, Mr. Ward
 ~funny motivational quote by Ayn Rand

   To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.
 ~saying on Death by Samuel Butler

   One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it.
 ~funny motivational quote by George MacDonald

   If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
 ~funny by Frank Lloyd Wright

   Life is half spent before we know what it is.
 ~sayings about funny by George Herbert, Jacula Prudentum, 1651

   I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.
 ~quotes about Racism by Woody Allen, on the Ku Klux Klan

   Never say, oops. Always say, Ah, interesting.
 ~funny motivational quote by Author Unknown

   Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.
 ~saying on Unknown by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Children and lunatics cut the Gordian knot which the poet spends his life patiently trying to untie.
 ~funny motivational quote by Jean Cocteau

   A man to carry on a successful business must have imagination. He must see things as in a vision, a dream of the whole thing
 ~funny by Charles M Schwab

   Men fight for freedom, then they begin to accumulate laws to take it away from themselves.
 ~sayings about funny by Author Unknown

   A book reads the better which is our own, and has been so long known to us, that we know the topography of its blots, and dog's ears, and can trace the dirt in it to having read it at tea with buttered muffins.
 ~quotes about Books Reading by Charles Lamb, Last Essays of Elia, 1833

   The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
 ~funny motivational quote by J. Frank Dobie

   I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
 ~saying on Dogs by Author Unknown

   Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
 ~funny motivational quote by Groucho Marx

   Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.
 ~funny by Author Unknown

   Dancing in all its forms cannot be excluded from the curriculum of all noble education; dancing with the feet, with ideas, with words, and, need I add that one must also be able to dance with the pen?
 ~sayings about funny by Friedrich Nietzsche

   Be enthusiastic. Remember the placebo effect - 30% of medicine is showbiz.
 ~quotes about Attitude by Ronald Spark

   There are two kinds of light - the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.
 ~funny motivational quote by James Thurber

   Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
 ~saying on Golf by John Updike

   Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
 ~funny motivational quote by Albert Einstein

   I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
 ~funny by Mark Twain

   Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.
 ~sayings about funny by Gail Sheehy

   Good company upon the road is the shortest cut.
 ~quotes about Relationships by Author Unknown

   Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls
 ~funny motivational quote by David Thomas

   The animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren; they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth.
 ~saying on Animal Rights by Henry Beston, The Outermost House, 1928

   The expression to write something down suggests a descent of thought to the fingers whose movements immediately falsify it.
 ~funny motivational quote by William Gass, Habitations of the Word, Kenyon Review, October 1984

   We haven't come a long way, we've come a short way. If we hadn't come a short way, no one would be calling us baby.
 ~funny by Elizabeth Janeway

   Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
 ~sayings about funny by Robin Williams

   The trip across Arizona is just one oasis after another. You can just throw anything out and it will grow there, I like Arizona.
 ~quotes about Arizona by Will Rogers

   We give up leisure in order that we may have leisure, just as we go to war in order that we may have peace.
 ~funny motivational quote by Aristotle

   If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
 ~saying on Dogs by Andy Rooney

   Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
 ~funny motivational quote by Henry David Thoreau

   Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
 ~funny by Robert Frost

   A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.
 ~sayings about funny by Arnold Haultain

   If you don't know there's a trampoline in the room, you're not going to dust the ceiling for prints.
 ~quotes about Justice by From the television show Law & Order

   There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
 ~funny motivational quote by Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

   Of course I'm ambitious. What's wrong with that? Otherwise you sleep all day.
 ~saying on Goals by Ringo Starr

   When cerebral processes enter into sports, you start screwing up. It's like the Constitution, which says separate church and state. You have to separate mind and body.
 ~funny motivational quote by Bill Lee

   Follow Me Im A Bad Influence
 ~funny by

   Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
 ~sayings about funny by W.C. Fields

   Each cup of tea represents an imaginary voyage.
 ~quotes about Tea by Catherine Douzel

   The question is this: Is man an ape or an angel? I am on the side of the angels.
 ~funny motivational quote by Benjamin Disraeli

   We have enjoyed so much freedom for so long that we are perhaps in danger of forgetting how much blood it cost to establish the Bill of Rights
 ~saying on Patriotic by Felix Frankfurter

   Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups.
 ~funny motivational quote by Author Unknown

   No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.
 ~funny by George Bernard Shaw

   A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween
 ~sayings about funny by Erma Bombeck

   If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
 ~quotes about Politics by Jay Leno

   Call people back immediately. One of the biggest challenges most salespeople have is that they don't want to pick up messages and call people back. Return calls now. It's the only way you can build up a solid clientele.
 ~funny motivational quote by Tom Hopkins

   I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring.
 ~saying on Humility by James McNeill Whistler

   How seldom we weigh our neighbors in the same balance as ourselves.
 ~funny motivational quote by Thomas à Kempis

   [Poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great.
 ~funny by Walter Matthau

   Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
 ~sayings about funny by Wendell Johnson

   No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.
 ~quotes about Clothing by Frederick G. Banting

   What's another word for thesaurus?
 ~funny motivational quote by Steven Wright.

   The story of Harold Ross, the New Yorker and me is a mere footnote to the story of our time, and we might as well face the truth that to researchers of the future, poking about among the ruins of time, we shall all be tiny glitters. But then, so are diamonds.
 ~saying on Jewelry by James Thurber

   We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
 ~funny motivational quote by Oscar Wilde

   It must be hard to be a model, because you'd want to be like the photograph of you, and you can't ever look that way.
 ~funny by Andy Warhol


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