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funny money quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   In gardens, beauty is a by-product. The main business is sex and death.
 ~quotes about Gardens by Sam Llewelyn

   The language of friendship is not words but meanings
 ~funny money quotes by Henry David Thoreau

   I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.
 ~saying on Medical by James H. Boren

   Nobody is stronger, nobody is weaker than someone who came back.There is nothing you can do to such a person because whatever you could do is less than what has already been done to him. We have already paid the price
 ~funny money quotes by Elie Wiesel

   The theoretician believes in logic and believes that he despises dreams, intuition, and poetry. He does not recognize that these three fairies have only disguised themselves in order to dazzle him.... He does not know that he owes his greatest discoveries to them.
 ~money by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell

   If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.
 ~sayings about money by Italian Proverb

   The fear of life is the favorite disease of the 20th century.
 ~quotes about Life by William Lyon Phelps

   The most tragic paradox of our time is to be found in the failure of nation-states to recognize the imperatives of internationalism.
 ~funny money quotes by Earl Warren

   He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.
 ~saying on Belief by Thomas Fuller

   A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.
 ~funny money quotes by Thomas Paine

   Stolen kisses require an accomplice.
 ~money by Just One Fool Thing After Another: A Cowfolks' Guide to Romance

   Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
 ~sayings about money by Jules de Gaultier

   The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.
 ~quotes about Light by Vladimir Nabokov

   Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.
 ~funny money quotes by Etty Hillesum

   Injustice is relatively easy to bear; it is justice that hurts.
 ~saying on Justice by H.L. Mencken

   If you wait for enough time to start a big project, you’ll never start. Winners grab those five and ten minute periods between their regular tasks.
 ~funny money quotes by

   What a strange power there is in clothing.
 ~money by Isaac Bashevis Singer

   Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.
 ~sayings about money by Niccolo Machiavelli

   Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
 ~quotes about Driving by Lewis Mumford

   Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.
 ~funny money quotes by Booker T. Washington

   It is doubtless true that religion has been the world's psychiatrist throughout the centuries.
 ~saying on Religion by Karl Menninger

   Despair is anger with no place to go
 ~funny money quotes by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.
 ~money by Martin Buxbaum

   No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head.
 ~sayings about money by Terry Josephson

   If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.
 ~quotes about Jealousy by Charley Reese

   I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
 ~funny money quotes by Katherine Mansfield

   I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
 ~saying on Celebrity by Oscar Levant

   The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.
 ~funny money quotes by Robert Graves

   A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty
 ~money by Mark Twain

   Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
 ~sayings about money by P.G. Wodehouse

   Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
 ~quotes about Love by Hoosier Farmer

   The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke.
 ~funny money quotes by W.J. Cameron

   Boredom flourishes too, when you feel safe. It's a symptom of security.
 ~saying on Boredom by Eugene Ionesco

   Almost the whole of history is but a sequence of horrors.
 ~funny money quotes by Sébastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort, Maxims and Considerations

   What lies lurk in kisses.
 ~money by Heinrich Heine

   Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history.
 ~sayings about money by Joan Wallach Scott

   If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.
 ~quotes about Love by Emma Goldman, The Tragedy of Women's Emancipation

   If I were to say, ''God, why me?'' about the bad things, then I should have said, ''God, why me?'' about the good things that happened in my life.
 ~funny money quotes by Arthur Ashe

   Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.
 ~saying on Carpe Diem by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Moderation is a fatal thing; nothing succeeds like excess.
 ~funny money quotes by Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance, 1894

   Nature is impartial, too old-fashioned and square to be playing favorites.
 ~money by

   There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.
 ~sayings about money by Author Unknown

   There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
 ~quotes about Helping by Aldous Huxley, Time Must Have a Stop

   The best of my education has come from the public library... my tuition fee is a bus fare and once in a while, five cents a day for an overdue book. You don't need to know very much to start with, if you know the way to the public library.
 ~funny money quotes by Lesley Conger

   It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one.
 ~saying on Grandparents by Author Unknown

   Your distress about life might mean you have been living for the wrong reason, not that you have no reason for living.
 ~funny money quotes by Tom O'Connor

   The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
 ~money by Mark Twain

   We climb mountains because they are there, and worship God because He is not.
 ~sayings about money by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one
 ~quotes about Friends by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   There’s hope for every failure, as long as he doesn’t blame others for his fate.
 ~funny money quotes by

   When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.
 ~saying on Golf by Author Unknown

   Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast
 ~funny money quotes by Woody Allen

   I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
 ~money by John Cage

   A history in which every particular incident may be true may on the whole be false.
 ~sayings about money by Thomas Babington Macaulay

   The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.
 ~quotes about Goals by Author Unknown

   The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
 ~funny money quotes by Mad Magazine

   At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
 ~saying on Parties by Ann Landers

   Were there no God, we would be in this glorious world with grateful hearts and no one to thank.
 ~funny money quotes by Christina Rossetti

   I'll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time.
 ~money by Emily Dickinson


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