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funny money quote generated randomly from our collections

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   Our friends should be companions who inspire us, who help us rise to our best.
 ~quotes about Friendship by Joseph B. Wirthlin

   Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
 ~funny money quote by Confucius

   If you're alone, I'll be your shadowIf you want to cry, I'll be your shoulderIf you want a hug, I'll be your pillowIf you need to be happy, I'll be your smileBut anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me
 ~saying on For a Friend by Author Unknown

   Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.
 ~funny money quote by Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

   People often say that, in a democracy, decisions are made by a majority of the peopleOf course, that is not trueDecisions are made by a majority of those who make themselves heard and who vote - a very different thing
 ~money by Walter H. Judd

   The love of one's country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?
 ~sayings about money by Pablo Casals

   One is a member of a country, a profession, a civilization, a religion. One is not just a man.
 ~quotes about Community by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell

   Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
 ~funny money quote by John Lennon

   If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
 ~saying on Babies by Dave Barry

   If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. (It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft.) Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all the organizations with titles beginning with the word National.
 ~funny money quote by George Will

   Morality is a private and costly luxury.
 ~money by Henry B. Adams, The Education of Henry Adams

   Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.
 ~sayings about money by Sally Koch

   Every man should be born again on the first day of JanuaryStart with a fresh pageTake up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face
 ~quotes about New Year by Henry Ward Beecher

   Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
 ~funny money quote by Samuel Johnson

   It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
 ~saying on War by Voltaire, War

   AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences: suicide. Or murder.
 ~funny money quote by Susan Sontag

   The pleasure we obtain from music comes from counting, but counting unconsciously. Music is nothing but unconscious arithmetic.
 ~money by Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

   I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
 ~sayings about money by A. Whitney Brown

   Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience - unless they are still up.
 ~quotes about Sleep by Ellen Goodman

   Yoga in Mayfair or Fifth Avenue, or in any other place which is on the telephone, is a spiritual fake.
 ~funny money quote by Carl Jung

   You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.
 ~saying on Ignorance by Norman Juster

   Night travels faster than sound. That's why most people seem bright until you hear them speak.
 ~funny money quote by Author Unknown

   If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.
 ~money by Paul McCartney

   If the day and night be such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more immortal - that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself.
 ~sayings about money by Henry David Thoreau, Walden

   There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry... Yesterday and Tomorrow.
 ~quotes about Worry by Robert Jones Burdette

   Drinking without being thirsty and making love at any time, Madame, are the only things that distinguish us from other animals.
 ~funny money quote by Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, The Marriage of Figaro, 1784, translated

   A fool is like the big drum that beats fast but does not realize its hollowness
 ~saying on Malay Saying by Malay

   A large, still book is a piece of quietness, succulent and nourishing in a noisy world, which I approach and imbibe with a sort of greedy enjoyment, as Marcel Proust said of those rooms of his old home whose air was saturated with the bouquet of silence.
 ~funny money quote by Holbrook Jackson

   If you love animals called pets, why do you eat animals called dinner?
 ~money by As seen on a shirt

   Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly
 ~sayings about money by Proverb

   The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
 ~quotes about Humor by Woody Allen

   The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
 ~funny money quote by Eldridge Cleaver, Soul on Ice, 1968

   As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
 ~saying on School by Author Unknown

   Our profession is the only one which works unceasingly to annihilate itself.
 ~funny money quote by Martin H. Fischer

   In every department of physical science there is only so much science, properly so-called, as there is mathematics.
 ~money by Immanuel Kant

   How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted.
 ~sayings about money by Walter Scott

   Sometimes even to live is an act of courage
 ~quotes about Patriot Day by Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Letters to Lucilius

   Sickness comes on horseback, but goes away on foot.
 ~funny money quote by William C. Hazlitt

   A kind word never broke anyone's mouth.



 ~saying on Attitude by Irish Proverb

   When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools.
 ~funny money quote by William Shakespeare, King Lear

   The sane world will always be vunerable to madmen, because we cannot go where they go to conceive of such things.
 ~money by

   Animals give me more pleasure through the viewfinder of a camera than they ever did in the crosshairs of a gunsight. And after I've finished shooting, my unharmed victims are still around for others to enjoy. I have developed a deep respect for animals. I consider them fellow living creatures with certain rights that should not be violated any more than those of humans.
 ~sayings about money by Jimmy Stewart

   Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
 ~quotes about Effort by Will Rogers

   Better a thousand times careful than once dead.
 ~funny money quote by Proverb

   A gimme can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.
 ~saying on Golf by Author Unknown

   God waits to win back his own flowers as gifts from man's hands.
 ~funny money quote by Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds, 1916

   No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.
 ~money by Brendan Francis

   Everything in creation has its appointed painter or poet and remains in bondage like the princess in the fairy tale 'til its appropriate liberator comes to set it free.
 ~sayings about money by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I only remember two kisses - the first and the last. The first, with my love and the last, with death. The first brought happiness and the last relief
 ~quotes about Death by Srijit Prabhakaran

   When I split an infinitive, god damn it, I split it so it stays split.
 ~funny money quote by Raymond Chandler

   Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it
 ~saying on Motivation by Winston Churchill

   It is the deed that teaches, not the name we give it. Murder and capital punishment are not opposites that cancel one another, but similars that breed their kind.
 ~funny money quote by George Bernard Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionists

   Nothing can be more readily disproved than the old saw, You can't keep a good man down. Most human societies have been beautifully organized to keep good men down.
 ~money by John W. Gardner

   Every job should bring us three rewards: money, friends, and experience.
 ~sayings about money by

   When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.
 ~quotes about Age by Hugo L. Black

   Jim Bakker spells his name with 2 k's because 3 would be too obvious.
 ~funny money quote by Bill Maher

   I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
 ~saying on Dogs by Rita Rudner

   Generation Gap: A chasm, amorphously situated in time and space, that separates those who have grown up absurd from those who will, with luck, grow up absurd.
 ~funny money quote by Bernard Rosenberg, Dictionary for the Disenchanged, 1972

   Bach opens a vista to the universe. After experiencing him, people feel there is meaning to life after all.
 ~money by Helmut Walcha


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