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funny kid quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.
 ~quotes about Computers by Robert A. Heinlein

   I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
 ~funny kid quotes by Max Kauffman

   Yard by yard, all tasks are hard; inch by inch, they’re all cinch.
 ~saying on Self Discipline by

   I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
 ~funny kid quotes by George Bernard Shaw, 28 August 1896

   First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
 ~kid by Mahatma Gandhi

   Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.
 ~sayings about kid by Ayn Rand

   As experience widens, one begins to see how much upon a level all human things are.
 ~quotes about Equality Difference by Joseph Farrell

   Maybe a person's time would be as well spent raising food as raising money to buy food.
 ~funny kid quotes by Frank A. Clark

   Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it
 ~saying on Retirement by Gene Perret

   Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
 ~funny kid quotes by Author Unknown

   Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
 ~kid by Author Unknown

   Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart
 ~sayings about kid by Kay Knudsen

   I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me!
 ~quotes about Dieting by Author Unknown

   If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
 ~funny kid quotes by Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

   We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
 ~saying on Love by Marie Ebner Von Eschenbach, Aphorism

   A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.
 ~funny kid quotes by Raymond Duncan

   End discrimination. Hate everybody.
 ~kid by Author Unknown

   Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.
 ~sayings about kid by Rabindranath Tagore

   You can live for years next door to a big pine tree, honored to have so venerable a neighbor, even when it sheds needles all over your flowers or wakes you, dropping big cones onto your deck at still of night
 ~quotes about Arbor Day by Denise Levertov

   The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression, and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cast out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived.
 ~funny kid quotes by Howard Pyle

   Isn't that the problem? That women have been swindled for centuries into substituting adornment for love, fashion (as it were) for passion?
 ~saying on Feminism by Erica Jong

   If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
 ~funny kid quotes by Mother Teresa

   Mental slavery is mental death, and every man who has given up his intellectual freedom is the living coffin of his dead soul.
 ~kid by Robert Ingersoll, Individuality

   Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
 ~sayings about kid by Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

   The duty of literature is to note what counts, and to light up what is suited to the light. If it ceases to choose and to love, it becomes like a woman who gives herself without preference.
 ~quotes about Literature by Anatole France

   I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
 ~funny kid quotes by George McGovern

   It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.
 ~saying on Confidence by Epicurus

   Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune.
 ~funny kid quotes by Giuseppe Garibaldi

   A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.
 ~kid by George Santayana

   If you add to the truth, you subtract from it.
 ~sayings about kid by The Talmud

   Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons from coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you
 ~quotes about Love Quotes by Kent Nerburn

   The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity
 ~funny kid quotes by Seneca

   If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is God is crying. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, Probably because of something you did.
 ~saying on Religion by Saturday Night Live, Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

   Prayer draws us near to our own souls.
 ~funny kid quotes by Herman Melville, Mardi and A Voyage Thither, 1849

   Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.
 ~kid by Mark Twain, Taming the Bicycle

   Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day.
 ~sayings about kid by Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956

   In order to judge properly, one must get away somewhat from what one is judging, after having loved it. This is true of countries, of persons, and of oneself.
 ~quotes about Self-Discovery by André Gide

   All you got to do is just Kill em with Kindness and they'll regret it in the end
 ~funny kid quotes by

   Label on a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly
 ~saying on Education by Unknown

   A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours.
 ~funny kid quotes by Ray Fitzgerald, in Boston Glove, 1970

   Never part with your dreams. When they’re gone, you might still exist, but you cease to live.
 ~kid by

   A tree which has lost its head will never recover it again, and will survive only as a monument of the ignorance and folly of its Tormentor.
 ~sayings about kid by George William Curtis

   He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.
 ~quotes about Humorous by Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981

   Nothing is so often irretrievably missed as a daily opportunity.
 ~funny kid quotes by Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

   A friend is a person with whom I may be sincereBefore him I may think aloudI am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put o
 ~saying on For a Friend by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   My test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter.
 ~funny kid quotes by Thomas Helm

   God always answers our prayers, but sometimes the answer is no.
 ~kid by Author Unknown

   The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.
 ~sayings about kid by James Bryce

   The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.
 ~quotes about Freedom by Louis D. Brandeis

   Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
 ~funny kid quotes by Dwight D. Eisenhower

   Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
 ~saying on Death by J.J. Furnas

   I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.
 ~funny kid quotes by Mark Twain

   To live anywhere in the world today and be against equality because of race or color is like living in Alaska and being against snow.
 ~kid by William Faulkner, Essays, Speeches and Public Letters

   Young lovers and young nations face the same problem: after orgasm, what?
 ~sayings about kid by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.
 ~quotes about Religion by Isaac Asimov, I. Asimov: A Memoir

   Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first.
 ~funny kid quotes by Charles de Gaulle

   Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends - but only one mother in the whole world.
 ~saying on Mothers by Kate Douglas Wiggin

   One's suffering disappears when one lets oneself go, when one yields - even to sadness.
 ~funny kid quotes by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929, translated from French by Curtis Cate

   The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend.
 ~kid by Cali Rae Turner


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