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funny joke and quote generated randomly from our collections

sweet tagalog love quotes,funny relationship quotes,graduation inspirational sayings,good rap quotes,romantic sayings in french,

   More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Doug Larson

   Our names are labels, plainly printed on the bottled essence of our past behavior.
 ~funny joke and quote by Logan Pearsall Smith

   It is not impossibilities which fill us with the deepest despair, but possibilities which we have failed to realize.
 ~saying on Miscellaneous by Robert Mallett, Apostilles, 1972

   Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
 ~funny joke and quote by Oscar Wilde

   There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
 ~joke by Robert Benchley

   One of the most delightful things about a garden is the anticipation it provides.
 ~sayings about joke by W.E. Johns, The Passing Show

   If you see in any given situation only what everybody else can see, you can be said to be so much a representative of your culture that you are a victim of it.
 ~quotes about Conformity by S.I. Hayakawa

   My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit.
 ~funny joke and quote by Jerry Hall

   Let freedom never perish in your hands.
 ~saying on Freedom by Joseph Addison

   No good opera plot can be sensible:... people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.
 ~funny joke and quote by W.H. Auden, Time, 29 December 1961

   He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it
 ~joke by Clarence Budington Kelland

   Let no sleep fall upon your eyes until you’re reviewed the acts of the day. What did I forgot or do wrong? Think up a way to avoid it in the future. What more could I have done or done better? Asking questions of yourself impels you to think for the answers.
 ~sayings about joke by

   Make the most of the fact that life is always changing. Change it for the better.

 ~quotes about Family by Ralph Marston

   Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
 ~funny joke and quote by Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969

   There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity
 ~saying on Adversity by Washington Irving, The Sketch Book, 1820

   It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.
 ~funny joke and quote by Groucho Marx

   Love someone who doesn't deserve it.
 ~joke by Author Unknown

   Two and two the mathematician continues to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five.
 ~sayings about joke by James McNeill Whistler, Whistler Versus Ruskin, 1878

   You lose a lot of time, hating people.
 ~quotes about Hate by Marian Anderson

   Weigh twice what you can only decide once. Caution is wisdom’s elder sister. Measure twice before you saw once. Take a second look. It costs nothing.
 ~funny joke and quote by

   veryone wants to understand art. Why don’t we try to understand the song of a bird? Why do we love the night, the flowers, everything around us, without trying to understand them? But in the case of a painting, people think they have to understand.
 ~saying on Attitude by Pablo Picasso

   Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy; Even love unreturned has its rainbow
 ~funny joke and quote by Eaton Stannard Barret

   It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
 ~joke by Tallulah Bankhead

   If happiness you would win, share it. It was born a twin.
 ~sayings about joke by

   The shortest path to world peace is world trade. The shortest path to domestic peace and marital peace is communications.
 ~quotes about Family by

   The new appears as a minority point of view, and hence is unpopular. The function of a university is to give it a sanctuary.
 ~funny joke and quote by Martin H. Fischer

   The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.
 ~saying on Happiness by Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954

   Is life so wretched? Isn't it rather your hands which are too small, your vision which is muddled? You are the one who must grow up.
 ~funny joke and quote by Dag Hammarskjold

   Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
 ~joke by Author Unknown

   The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.
 ~sayings about joke by Bella Abzug

   Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
 ~quotes about Sex by Woody Allen

   As though pure white snow flashed and sparkled with the color of bright ruddy wine, and was overcome by this radiance.
 ~funny joke and quote by Author unknown, about the opal

   Personality can open doors; only character can keep them open.
 ~saying on Personality by

   Football is like life, it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority
 ~funny joke and quote by Vince Lombardi

   Middle age: When you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
 ~joke by Ogden Nash

   Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?
 ~sayings about joke by Henry Finck

   The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.
 ~quotes about Advice by Author Unknown

   I'm cute in gym shorts! I'm slim and trim, and you'd be impressed - I've good calves
 ~funny joke and quote by Larry King

   A morning without coffee is like sleep.
 ~saying on Caffeine by Author Unknown

   No news is good news. No journalists is even better.
 ~funny joke and quote by Nicolas Bentley

   Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.
 ~joke by W. Earl Hall

   Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it.
 ~sayings about joke by From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off

   Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker
 ~quotes about I Love You by Author Unknown

   Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
 ~funny joke and quote by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

   We cannot carry our father's corpse with us everywhere we go.
 ~saying on Living by Guillaume Apollinaire, The Cubist Painters, 1913

   Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress.
 ~funny joke and quote by Author Unknown

   Nothing risqué, nothing gained.
 ~joke by Alexander Woollcott

   Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.
 ~sayings about joke by Orson Rega Card

   I cannot forget my mother. [S]he is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely.
 ~quotes about Mothers by Renita Weems

   Never set a standar in the love your looking for coz you'll end up eating your words. For love comes with the unlikely person and if you ask God why? He will answer: LOVE JUST MOVES IN A MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!
 ~funny joke and quote by Judith >"'<

   Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?
 ~saying on Environment by Pierre Troubetzkoy

   I would not exchange my leisure hours for all the wealth in the world.
 ~funny joke and quote by Comte de Mirabeau

   Good habits are hard to acquire but easy to live with.
 ~joke by

   The happiest hours of mankind are recorded on the blank pages of history.
 ~sayings about joke by Thomas Carlyle, Life of Frederick the Great

   I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school.
 ~quotes about Parenting by Author Unknown

   What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight.
 ~funny joke and quote by Joseph Joubert

   Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day.
 ~saying on Yoga by Carol Krucoff

   We need an America with the wisdom of experienceBut we must not let America grow old in spirit
 ~funny joke and quote by Hubert H. Humphrey

   Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.
 ~joke by William W. Watt


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