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funny inspirational quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.
 ~quotes about Friendship by Frances Ward Weller

   It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Tom Brokaw

   God and other artists are always a little obscure.
 ~saying on Art by Oscar Wilde

   The family is one of nature's masterpieces.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by George Santayana, The Life of Reason

   Optimism is the foundation of courage.
 ~funny by Nicholas Murray Butler

   Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!
 ~sayings about funny by Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

   The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.
 ~quotes about Parenting by John J. Plomp

   Those who never rebelled against God or at some point in their lives shaken their fists in the face of heaven, have never encountered God at all.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Catherine Marshall, Christy, 1967

   No two gardens are the same. No two days are the same in one garden.
 ~saying on Gardens by Hugh Johnson

   It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

   Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, Smile, Grandma! - I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother's lap.
 ~funny by Liv Ullmann

   Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels
 ~sayings about funny by Faith Whittlesey

   The most prized all possessions is a pleasant disposition – 10% nature; 90% nurture.
 ~quotes about Attitude by

   To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Bertrand Russell

   Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
 ~saying on Golf by Jim Bishop

   On every stem, on every leaf,... and at the root of everything that grew, was a professional specialist in the shape of grub, caterpillar, aphis, or other expert, whose business it was to devour that particular part.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Oliver Wendell Holmes

   when I Die Let It Be When They Come For me Bury Me a G.
 ~funny by Tupac

   Logic hasn't wholly dispelled the society of witches and prophets and sorcerers and soothsayers.
 ~sayings about funny by Raymond F. Jones, The Non-Statistical Man

   Listening to both sides of a story will convince you that there is more to a story than both sides.
 ~quotes about Reality by Frank Tyger

   Great food is like great sex. The more you have the more you want.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Gael Greene

   Put your heart, mind, intellect and soul even to your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.
 ~saying on Effort by Swami Sivananda

   Our credulity is greatest concerning the things we know least about. And since we know least about ourselves, we are ready to believe all that is said about us. Hence the mysterious power of both flattery and calumny.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind

   Says the rude child: No, I won't do it. Says the courteous grown-up: Yes, I won't do it.
 ~funny by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   How glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains!
 ~sayings about funny by John Muir

   We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace.
 ~quotes about Animal Rights by Albert Schweitzer, The Philosophy of Civilization

   Trip over love, you can get upFall in love and you fall forever
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Author Unknown

   Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not drive on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.
 ~saying on Writing by Winston Churchill

   Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Bill Maher

   The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
 ~funny by Mark Twain

   I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
 ~sayings about funny by Mark Twain

   In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
 ~quotes about Society by Carl Sandburg, New York Post, 9 September 1960

   I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by T.S. Eliot

   I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.
 ~saying on Angels by Jean Cocteau

   Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Mark Twain

   He loves his country best who strives to make it best.
 ~funny by Robert G. Ingersoll

   Gardens... should be like lovely, well-shaped girls: all curves, secret corners, unexpected deviations, seductive surprises and then still more curves.
 ~sayings about funny by H.E. Bates, A Love of Flowers

   The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
 ~quotes about Insects by Andy Warhol

   The poetry of the earth is never dead.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by John Keats

   Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
 ~saying on Funny Saying by Woody Allen

   The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Aristotle

   Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
 ~funny by H.L. Mencken

   We never grow old. We get old when we stop growing. Keeping useful keeps us youthful.
 ~sayings about funny by

   Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
 ~quotes about Advertising by Will Rogers

   My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Karen Brown

   It's a rash man who reaches a conclusion before he gets to it.
 ~saying on Conformity by Jacob Levin

   Love is what you've been through with somebody
 ~funny inspirational quotes by James Thurber, quoted in Life magazine, 1960

   We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.
 ~funny by Gloria Steinem

   Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.
 ~sayings about funny by Buddha

   Top off the tea... it lubricates the grey matter.
 ~quotes about Tea by Good Neighbors, as seen on stashtea.com

   In the last analysis we must be judged by what we do and not by what we believe. We are as we behave - with a very small margin of credit for our unmanifested vision of how we might behave if we could take the trouble.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Geoffrey L. Rudd, The British Vegetarian, September/October 1962

   When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best -- that is inspiration.
 ~saying on Living by Robert Bresson

   Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Branch Rickey

   Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place
 ~funny by Zora Neale Hurston

   Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered characterBlessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul
 ~sayings about funny by Author Unknown

   We have a system that increasingly taxes work and subsidizes nonwork.
 ~quotes about Laziness by Milton Friedman

   Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by Paul Hornung

   Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only.
 ~saying on Integrity by Samuel Butler, Erewhon

   It is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.
 ~funny inspirational quotes by T.S. Eliot, about radio

   The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.
 ~funny by John S. Coleman, address, Detroit Chamber of Commerce, 1956


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