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funny humorous quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all colour-blind?
 ~quotes about Reality by Author Unknown

   God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Voltaire

   How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard
 ~saying on Goodbye by Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

   Dreams pass in time
 ~funny humorous quotes by

   All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal.
 ~humorous by Thomas Szasz

   Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
 ~sayings about humorous by Henry Louis Mencken, Sententiae, This and That: A Mencken Chrestomathy, 1948

   The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.
 ~quotes about Language by G.K. Chesterton

   Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Author Unknown

   Insist on yourself; never imitate... Every great man is unique.
 ~saying on Self Improvement by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas.
 ~funny humorous quotes by J.K. Rowling, The Egg and The Eye, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, spoken by the characte

   You will find poetry nowhere unless you bring some of it with you.
 ~humorous by Joseph Joubert

   A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy
 ~sayings about humorous by George Jean Nathan

   While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered beasts, how can we expect any ideal conditions on this earth?
 ~quotes about Vegetarianism by George Bernard Shaw

   Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
 ~funny humorous quotes by Richard Bach

   For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
 ~saying on Technology by Richard P. Feynman

   If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Edith Wharton

   The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.
 ~humorous by Arnold Toynbee

   I like the word indolence. It makes my laziness seem classy.
 ~sayings about humorous by Bern Williams

   Blink and you miss a sprint. The 10,000 meters is lap after lap of waiting. Theatrically, the mile is just the right length - beginning, middle, end: a story unfolding.
 ~quotes about Running by Sebastian Coe

   Maybe nature is fundamentally ugly, chaotic and complicated. But if it's like that, then I want out.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Steven Weinberg

   Poets are mysterious, but a poet when all is said is not much more mysterious than a banker.
 ~saying on Poetry by Allen Tate

   Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Author Unknown

   It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.
 ~humorous by George Horace Lorimer

   And even if you were in some prison, the walls of which let none of the sounds of the world come to your senses - would you not then still have your childhood, that precious, kingly possession, that treasure-house of memories?
 ~sayings about humorous by Rainer Maria Rilke

   Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
 ~quotes about Courage by Edward Vernon Rickenbacker

   For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing as bad weather; every day has its beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously.
 ~funny humorous quotes by George Gissing, Winter, The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft, 1903

   There are fools, damn fools, and those who remount in a steeplechase.
 ~saying on Horses by Bill Whitbread

   The third major characteristic of God - infinitude - is the catchall, the universal modifier of Christian theology. God is not merely a being; he is infinite being. God is not merely good; he is infinite goodness. God is not merely wise; he is infinite wisdom. And so on down the list. God is exaggeration run amuck.
 ~funny humorous quotes by George H. Smith, Atheism: The Case Against God

   Those who turn to God for comfort may find comfort but I do not think they will find God.
 ~humorous by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class
 ~sayings about humorous by George Raveling

   Peace begins with a smile.
 ~quotes about Happiness by Mother Teresa

   Wars usually have the effect of speeding up the process of history.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Pieter Geyl, Debates With Historians

   Forethought and temperance are the virtues which produced thrift, and with thrift the economic progress of society. And those are the virtues which today are gravely compromised.
 ~saying on Consumerism by Adriano Tilgher

   Our siblings. They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Susan Scarf Merrell

   The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary.
 ~humorous by Ashleigh Brilliant

   Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
 ~sayings about humorous by P.D. East

   Great scientific discoveries have been made by men seeking to verify quite erroneous theories about the nature of things.
 ~quotes about Science by Aldous Huxley, Wordsworth in the Tropics

   Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

   Be thankful that God's answers are wiser than your answers.
 ~saying on Prayer by William Culbertson

   All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
 ~humorous by John Wooden

   You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far.
 ~sayings about humorous by Uncle Remus

   Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.
 ~quotes about Golf by Homero Blancas, asked if he had any uphill putts

   Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Turkish Proverb

   What we remember from childhood we remember forever - permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.
 ~saying on Childhood by Cynthia Ozick

   Leisure tends to corrupt, and absolute leisure corrupts absolutely.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Edgar A. Shoaff

   God is an unutterable sigh, planted in the depths of the soul.
 ~humorous by Jean Paul Richter

   An apology is the superglue of lifeIt can repair just about anything
 ~sayings about humorous by Lynn Johnston

   It takes a long time to become young.
 ~quotes about Age by Pablo Picasso

   A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.
 ~funny humorous quotes by David Brenner

   Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.
 ~saying on Kindness by Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Laurence J. Peter

   Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.
 ~humorous by Oxford Union Society, London, Rule 46

   Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco. It is good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke and embers.
 ~sayings about humorous by Ben Jonson, Every Man in His Humour

   This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me
 ~quotes about Entertainment by Unknown

   Men like war: they do not hold much sway over birth, so they make up for it with death. Unlike women, men menstruate by shedding other people's blood.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Lucy Ellman

   For what avail the plough or sail, or land or life, if freedom fail?
 ~saying on Freedom by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Author Unknown

   To win you have to risk loss.
 ~humorous by Jean-Claude Killy


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