funny graduation sayings and quotations on graduation sayings

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funny graduation sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   The perfect temperature for tea is two degrees hotter than just right.
 ~quotes about Tea by Terri Guillemets

   If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Jack Handey

   When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice.
 ~saying on Advice by Charles Varlet de La Grange, Pensées, 1872

   The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake!
 ~funny graduation sayings by Martin H. Fischer

   Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.
 ~graduation by Alphonse Karr

   I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.
 ~sayings about graduation by Voltaire

   Why, can you imagine what would happen if we named all the twos Henry or George or Robert or John or lots of other things? You'd have to say Robert plus John equals four, and if the four's name were Albert, things would be hopeless.
 ~quotes about Names by Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

   Scientists, therefore, are responsible for their research, not only intellectually but also morally. This responsibility has become an important issue in many of today's sciences, but especially so in physics, in which the results of quantum mechanics and relativity theory have opened up two very different paths for physicists to pursue. They may lead us - to put it in extreme terms - to the Buddha or to the Bomb, and it is up to each of us to decide which path to take.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Fritjof Capra, The Turning Point, 1982

   They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers.
 ~saying on Media Journalism by James G. Watt, quoted in Newsweek, 8 March 1982

   The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
 ~funny graduation sayings by H.L. Mencken

   As the gardener prunes the tree to draw the sap into one or two branches, so must we concentrate on one or two to avoid scattering our talents.
 ~graduation by

   I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
 ~sayings about graduation by Frank Sinatra

   I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.
 ~quotes about Grandparents by Gene Perret

   The man who has no imagination has no wings.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Muhammad Ali

   To ask timidly is to invite refusal. Ask as though you expected to receive.
 ~saying on Personality by

   A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.
 ~funny graduation sayings by William Bolitho

   What a person believes is not as important as how a person believes
 ~graduation by Timothy Virkkala

   The universe seems bankrupt as soon as we begin to discuss the characters of individuals.
 ~sayings about graduation by Henry David Thoreau

   We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.
 ~quotes about Attitude by Author Unknown

   We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
 ~funny graduation sayings by W. Somerset Maugham

   There is as much difference between us and ourselves as between us and others.
 ~saying on Self by Michel de Montaigne

   The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is
 ~funny graduation sayings by Helen Rowland

   College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.
 ~graduation by George Gobel

   The moral flabbiness born of the bitch-goddess SUCCESS. That - with the squalid interpretation put on the word success - is our national disease.
 ~sayings about graduation by William James, 11 September 1906

   Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.
 ~quotes about Proverbs by

   Let us permit nature to have her way. She understands her business better than we do.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Michel de Montaigne

   Since our happiness depends on the character of our thoughts, away forever with all negatives. It requires effort to keep positive, but anything that doesn’t take effort isn’t worth having.
 ~saying on Happiness by

   Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Johnny Carson

   I eat everything that nature voluntarily gives: fruits, vegetables, and the products of plants. But I ask you to spare me what animals are forced to surrender: meat, milk, and cheese.
 ~graduation by Author Unknown (Thank you, Eric.)

   Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.
 ~sayings about graduation by Samuel Johnson

   Save a tree. Eat a beaver.
 ~quotes about Trees by Author Unknown

   Chi Wen Tzu always thought three times before taking action. Twice would have been quite enough.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Confucius, Analects

   Santa Claus has the right idea: Visit people once a year.
 ~saying on Guests by Victor Borge

   They say that we are better educated than our parents' generation. What they mean is that we go to school longer. It is not the same thing.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Richard Yates

   To learn something new, take the path that you took yesterday.
 ~graduation by John Burroughs

   Not only must we be good, but we must also be good for something
 ~sayings about graduation by Henry David Thoreau

   There are 70 million books in American libraries, but the one I want to read is always out.
 ~quotes about Libraries by Tom Masson

   I think societal instinct much deeper than sex instinct - and societal repression much more devastating.
 ~funny graduation sayings by D.H. Lawrence

   People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
 ~saying on Quotations by David H. Comins

   Losing is the great American sin.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Jerome Holtzman

   The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation
 ~graduation by Woodrow Wilson

   every rose has thorns
 ~sayings about graduation by none

   No scrap of paper bigger than my smallest punch shall be thrown away.
 ~quotes about Scrapbooking by Author Unknown, The Scrappers Creed

   Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Mark Twain

   America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
 ~saying on America by Abraham Lincoln

   God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Author Unknown

   If it's natural to kill, why do men have to go into training to learn how?
 ~graduation by Joan Baez, What Would You Do If....?

   Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.
 ~sayings about graduation by Jackie Gleason

   Failure to plan is unknowing planning to fail.
 ~quotes about Self Discipline by

   I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Tagore

   If living conditions don't stop improving in this country, we're going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.
 ~saying on Society by Russell P. Askue

   If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough.
 ~funny graduation sayings by VP Pappy

   If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food.
 ~graduation by Sally Edwards

   The absolute fundamental aim is to make money out of satisfying customers.
 ~sayings about graduation by John Egan

   Each forward step we take we leave some phantom of ourselves behind.
 ~quotes about Philosophical by John Lancaster Spalding

   The cigarette does the smoking - you're just the sucker.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Author Unknown

   You must be at the end of your ropeI felt a tug
 ~saying on Hang in There by Author Unknown

   The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
 ~funny graduation sayings by Andy Rooney

   Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself.
 ~graduation by Gerald Brenan


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