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funny golf quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.
 ~quotes about Solitude by William Penn

   Prejudices subsist in people's imagination long after they have been destroyed by their experience.
 ~funny golf quotes by Ernest Dimnet

   Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.
 ~saying on Helping by Lowell

   Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing Embraceable You in spats.
 ~funny golf quotes by Woody Allen

   Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
 ~golf by Robert Heinlein

   Wait, I just remembered something! You're boring and my legs work
 ~sayings about golf by David Spade

   A free press can be good or bad, but, most certainly, without freedom a press will never be anything but bad.
 ~quotes about Censorship by Albert Camus

   A leader or a man of action in a crisis almost always acts subconsciously and then thinks of the reasons for his action.
 ~funny golf quotes by Jawaharlal Nehru

   Go ahead and squander your chi. But I guarantee you heaven isn't in Miss March's pussy.... Heaven is on the other side of that feeling you get when you're sitting on the couch and you get up and make a triple-decker sandwich. It's on the other side of that, when you don't make the sandwich. It's about sacrifice.... It's about giving up the things that basically keep you from feeling. That's what I believe, anyway. I'm always asking, What am I going to give up next? Because I want to feel.
 ~saying on Self-Control by Jim Carrey, from a Michael Fleming interview in the March 2004 issue of Playboy magazine

   I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.
 ~funny golf quotes by Tom Clark

   It is easy to understand God as long as you don't try to explain him.
 ~golf by Joseph Joubert

   The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
 ~sayings about golf by Robert Byrne

   Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Isadora Duncan

   Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known
 ~funny golf quotes by Garrison Keillor

   Inspiration: a peculiar effect of divine flatulence emitted by the Holy Spirit which hisses into the ears of a few chosen of God.
 ~saying on Religion by Voltaire

   If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from?
 ~funny golf quotes by Author Unknown

   Suppose, however, that God did give this law to the Jews, and did tell them that whenever a man preached a heresy, or proposed to worship any other God that they should kill him; and suppose that afterward this same God took upon himself flesh, and came to this very chosen people and taught a different religion, and that thereupon the Jews crucified him; I ask you, did he not reap exactly what he had sown? What right would this god have to complain of a crucifixion suffered in accordance with his own command?
 ~golf by Robert G. Ingersoll, Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 2

   Never measure your progress by your income, but by your bank account. Remember the man in the mirror at 70 or 80.
 ~sayings about golf by

   Buying a Nikon doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner.
 ~quotes about Photography by Author Unknown

   Enjoy present pleasures in such a way as not to injure future ones
 ~funny golf quotes by Seneca

   Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.
 ~saying on Success by Zig Ziglar

   If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
 ~funny golf quotes by Aristotle Onassis

   There are those who are so scrupulously afraid of doing wrong that they seldom venture to do anything.
 ~golf by Vauvenargues

   Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
 ~sayings about golf by William A. Ward

   Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it.
 ~quotes about Humor by George Saintsbury

   There are twelve hours in the day, and above fifty in the night.
 ~funny golf quotes by Marie de Rabutin-Chantal

   The great thought, the great concern, the great anxiety of men is to restrict, as much as possible, the limits of their own responsibility.
 ~saying on Responsibility by Giosué Borsi

   By all means use sometimes to be alone. Salute thyself; see what thy soul doth wear.
 ~funny golf quotes by George Herbert

   Blessed is he who has found his right work; let him ask no further blessings.
 ~golf by

   While earning your daily bread, be sure you share a slice with those less fortunate
 ~sayings about golf by Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   Perfumes are the feelings of flowers.
 ~quotes about Flowers by Heinrich Heine, The Hartz Journey

   The surest way to be alone is to get married.
 ~funny golf quotes by Gloria Steinem

   Don't waste time learning the "tricks of the trade." Instead, learn the trade
 ~saying on Graduation by Attributed to both James Charlton and H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   I'm not a cheerleader. I'm an athletic supporter.
 ~funny golf quotes by Author Unknown

   I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them.
 ~golf by W. Somerset Maugham

   Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?
 ~sayings about golf by Author Unknown

   Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills.
 ~quotes about Money by Clifford Odets

   Study a lifetime and you see different colors from the same jewel. The same questions, asked again, being you just the answers you need just the minute you need them.
 ~funny golf quotes by Richard Bach

   The friendship that can cease has never been real
 ~saying on Friends by Saint Jerome

   When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you've got plenty to watch.
 ~funny golf quotes by Author unknown, from a television commercial

   The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off
 ~golf by Abe Lemons

   Science does not know its debt to imagination.
 ~sayings about golf by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
 ~quotes about Politics by Robert Byrne

   The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
 ~funny golf quotes by Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

   I am grateful for the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and floors that need waxing because it means I have a home
 ~saying on Housewarming by Author Unknown

   You are not obliged to put on evening clothes to meet God.
 ~funny golf quotes by Austin O'Malley

   A committee is an animal with four back legs.
 ~golf by John le Carré, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

   Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born
 ~sayings about golf by Dale E. Turner

   If my resolution to be a great man was half so strong as it is to despise the shame of being a little one...
 ~quotes about Attitude by William Cowper

   Minor vices lead to major ones, but minor virtues stay put.
 ~funny golf quotes by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   It's so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you.
 ~saying on Love by Author Unknown

   If a healthy minded person takes an interest in science, he gets busy with his mathematics and haunts the laboratory.
 ~funny golf quotes by W.S. Franklin

   When you no longer know what headache, heartache, or stomachache means without cistern punctures, electrocardiograms and six x-ray plates, you are slipping.
 ~golf by Martin H. Fischer

   Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.
 ~sayings about golf by Ruth E. Renkel

   To give vent now and then to his feelings, whether of pleasure or discontent, is a great ease to a man's heart.
 ~quotes about Chakras by Francesco Guicciardini

   If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.
 ~funny golf quotes by Julia Sorel (Rosalyn Drexler), See How She Runs, 1978

   The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones.
 ~saying on Mothers by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   It is in moments of illness that we are compelled to recognize that we live not alone but chained to a creature of a different kingdom, whole worlds apart, who has no knowledge of us and by whom it is impossible to make ourselves understood: our body.
 ~funny golf quotes by Marcel Proust

   Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.
 ~golf by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Journals, 1843


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