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      Half the world’s troubles come from saying yes too soon and to often and no too late and to seldom.


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funny fortune cookie sayings generated randomly from our collections

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   Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
 ~quotes about Self-Discovery by Anaïs Nin

   Every wrong seems possible today, and is accepted. I don't accept it.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Pablo Casals

   A poet dares be just so clear and no clearer.... He unzips the veil from beauty, but does not remove it. A poet utterly clear is a trifle glaring.
 ~saying on Poetry by E.B. White

   We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Author Unknown

   If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
 ~fortune cookie by Stanley Garn

   Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Art Buchwald

   I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
 ~quotes about Hypocrisy by Josh Billings

   The more sympathy you give, the less you need.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Malcolm S. Forbes

   Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.
 ~saying on Health by Author Unknown

   The American reading his Sunday paper in a state of lazy collapse is perhaps the most perfect symbol of the triumph of quantity over quality.... Whole forests are being ground into pulp daily to minister to our triviality.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Irving Babbitt

   How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
 ~fortune cookie by Barry Lopez, Arctic Dreams

   A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite. I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Anita Wise

   We tear life out of life to use it for looking at itself.
 ~quotes about Life by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Dan Birdwell

   The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
 ~saying on Future by Paul Valery

   I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they'll find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a streak of fat.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Texas Guinan

   The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key.
 ~fortune cookie by Edward Abbey

   To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Mark Twain, attributed

   All photographs are accurate. None of them is the truth.
 ~quotes about Photography by Richard Avedon

   Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935

   Some Americans need hyphens in their names, because only part of them has come over; but when the whole man has come over, heart and thought and all, the hyphen drops of its own weight out of his name
 ~saying on Patriotic by Woodrow Wilson

   Use of advanced messaging technology does not imply an endorsement of western industrial civilization.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Anonymous email sig line

   Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
 ~fortune cookie by Margaret Thatcher

   The three horrors of modern life - talk without meaning, desire without love, work without satisfaction.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   A poem is true if it hangs together. Information points to something else. A poem points to nothing but itself.
 ~quotes about Poetry by E.M. Forster, Two Cheers for Democracy, 1951

   The forceps of our minds are clumsy things and crush the truth a little in the course of taking hold of it.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by H.G. Wells

   In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved
 ~saying on Independence Day by Franklin D. Roosevelt

   To give vent now and then to his feelings, whether of pleasure or discontent, is a great ease to a man's heart.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Francesco Guicciardini

   A wee child toddling in a wonder world.... I prefer to their dogma my excursions into the natural gardens where the voice of the Great Spirit is heard in the twittering of birds, the rippling of mighty waters, and the sweet breathing of flowers. If this is Paganism, then at present, at least, I am a Pagan.
 ~fortune cookie by Zitkala-Sa

   You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Barbara De Angelis

   A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: Because everything does.
 ~quotes about Sex by Honor Tracy

   It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Rob Cella

   When one has the feeling of dislike for evil, when one feels tranquil, one finds pleasure in listening to good teachings; when one has these feelings and appreciates them, one is free of fear.
 ~saying on Personality by Buddha

   Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Tim McMahon

   Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.
 ~fortune cookie by Loren Eiseley

   As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit - and parking as close to the stadium as possible.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Bill Vaughan

   He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
 ~quotes about Politics by Richard Darman, director of the Office of Management and Budget, explaining why President Bush wasn'

   We acquire the strength we have overcome.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you.
 ~saying on Science by Frank Wilczek

   My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Harry Secombe

   I think that travel comes from some deep urge to see the world, like the urge that brings up a worm in an Irish bog to see the moon when it is full.
 ~fortune cookie by Lord Dunsany

   Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Erica Jong, How to Save Your Own Life, 1977

   A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.
 ~quotes about Media Journalism by Henry Fielding

   Perishability in a photograph is important in a picture. If a photograph looks perishable we say, Gee, I'm glad I have that moment.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by John Loengard, Pictures Under Discussion

   Psychology’s most useful lesson: We can change ourselves by changing our thoughts.
 ~saying on Self Improvement by

   Are bombs the only way of setting fire to the spirit of a people? Is the human will as inert as the past two world-wide wars would indicate?
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Gregory Clark

   There are joys which long to be ours. God sends ten thousands truths, which come about us like birds seeking inlet; but we are shut up to them, and so they bring us nothing, but sit and sing awhile upon the roof, and then fly away.
 ~fortune cookie by Henry Ward Beecher

   Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Marcus Tullius Cicero

   What's the point of being a lesbian if a woman is going to look and act like an imitation man?
 ~quotes about Homosexuality by Rita Mae Brown

   One ought to hold on to one's heart; for if one lets go, one soon loses control of the head too.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Nietzsche

   You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one
 ~saying on Women's Greetings by Carolyn Kenmore

   Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
 ~fortune cookie by Native American Indian Proverb

   Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by William Dement

   Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
 ~quotes about Religion by Mark Twain

   Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by King Charles I

   Stop? I'm the guy. I don't stop! That's the woman's job. We're the gas, they're the brakes.
 ~saying on Men by Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, EDtv, 1999

   When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
 ~funny fortune cookie sayings by Author Unknown

   How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception.
 ~fortune cookie by Alfred de Musset


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