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      There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.


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funny fortune cookie saying generated randomly from our collections

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   A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
 ~quotes about Humorous by Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch

   You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Abraham Lincoln

   I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween
 ~saying on Halloween by Author Unknown

   Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Colin Sautar

   America is much more than a geographical factIt is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality
 ~fortune cookie by Adlai Stevenson

   If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Joey Adams

   Nationalism is a silly cock crowing on his own dunghill.
 ~quotes about Patriotism by Richard Aldington

   It's never safe to be nostalgic about something until you're absolutely certain there's no chance of its coming back.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Bill Vaughn

   We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it.
 ~saying on Simplicity by Donald Horban

   Show me someone who never gossips, and I'll show you someone who isn't interested in people.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Barbara Walters

   Our flag means all that our fathers meant in the Revolutionary WarIt means all that the Declaration of Independence meantIt means justiceIt means libertyIt means happiness.... Every color means libertyEvery thread means libertyEvery star and stripe means
 ~fortune cookie by Henry Ward Beecher

   Most people will be about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by

   A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
 ~quotes about Family by Ogden Nash

   The cure for capitalism's failing would require that a government would have to rise above the interests of one class alone.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Robert L. Heilbroner

   He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul's estate.
 ~saying on Leisure by Henry David Thoreau

   Never support two weaknesses at the same time. It's your combination sinners - your lecherous liars and your miserly drunkards - who dishonor the vices and bring them into bad repute.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Thornton Wilder

   [T]he bicycle will accomplish more for women's sensible dress than all the reform movements that have ever been waged.
 ~fortune cookie by Author Unknown, from Demerarest's Family Magazine, 1895

   Faith... must be enforced by reason.... When faith becomes blind it dies.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Mahatma Gandhi

   There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me.
 ~quotes about Nature by Thomas Jefferson

   After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by P.J. O'Rourke

   One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens.
 ~saying on Golf by Pete Alfano

   If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you'll die a lot of times.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Dean Smith

   I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.
 ~fortune cookie by Author Unknown

   A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, and woods, but it is a principle; and patriotism is loyalty to that principle.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by George William Curtis

   Put your future in good hands - your own.
 ~quotes about Confidence by Author Unknown

   I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Dolly Parton

   Women are one of the Almighty's enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do.
 ~saying on Men by Ellen Glasgow

   The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Ralph W. Sockman

   If you do a lot of things to build business, you'll build business. They don't have to be done perfectly to work, although the better you do them, the better they'll work. But the main point is that you have to do them -- a lot
 ~fortune cookie by Joe Girard

   Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Italian Proverb

   Would you kill your pet dog or cat to eat it? How about an animal you're not emotionally attached to? Is the thought of slaughtering a cow or chicken or pig with your own hands too much to handle? Instead, would hiring a hit-man to do the job give you enough distance from the emotional discomfort? What animal did you put a contract out on for your supper last night? Did you at least make sure that none went to waste and to take a moment to be grateful for its sacrifice?
 ~quotes about Vegetarianism by Anonymous

   One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Robert Benchley

   Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. A dinner without wine.
 ~saying on Golf by Jim Murray

   To become financially independent, pitch your goal of living a notch below your income. And never spend any money before you have it. Well arranged finances are a sure sign of well arranged mind.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by

   Any of us can achieve virtue, if by virtue we merely mean the avoidance of the vices that do not attract us.
 ~fortune cookie by Robert S. Lynd

   Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Mignon McLaughlin

   Those people who tell me that I'm going to hell while they are going to heaven somehow make me very glad that we're going to separate destinations.
 ~quotes about Religion by Martin Terman

   When I saw others straining toward God, I did not understand it, for though I may have had him less than they did, there was no one blocking the way between him and me, and I could reach his heart easily. It is up to him, after all, to have us, our part consists of almost solely in letting him grasp us.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke and Benvenuta: An Intimate Correspondence

   Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces, and which most men throw away.
 ~saying on Time by Charles Caleb Colton

   Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

   Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
 ~fortune cookie by Buddha

   I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Abraham Lincoln

   I've found without question that the best way to lead others to a more plant-based diet is by example - to lead with your fork, not your mouth.
 ~quotes about Vegetarianism by Bernie Wilke

   Life is the sum of all your choices.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Albert Camus

   It is the land of perpetual pubescence, where cultural lag is mistaken for renaissance.
 ~saying on Places by Ashley Montagu, about California

   Nothing is great like friendship on earth, No jewel No pearl has got it's worth. No one except a friend can be trusted, Your life will never ever get rusted
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Unknown

   It's so exciting to visit my son's cubicle! I worked hard to put you through college. Now I'll see the results of my investment. Um...You did attend classes, right
 ~fortune cookie by Dilbert

   Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Tom Landry

   A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.
 ~quotes about Kindness by Charles H. Spurgeon

   Few really believe. The most only believe that they believe or even make believe.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by John Lancaster Spalding

   It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother.
 ~saying on Grandparents by Author Unknown

   I count myselt in nothing else so happy As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by William Shakespeare

   Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
 ~fortune cookie by Malachy McCourt

   Never make a companion equal to a brother.
 ~sayings about fortune cookie by Hesiod

   He who is born a fool is never cured
 ~quotes about April Fool's Day by Proverb

   Always live up to your standards - by lowering them, if necessary.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Easy reading is damn hard writing.
 ~saying on Writing by Nathaniel Hawthorne

   All God's angels come to us disguised.
 ~funny fortune cookie saying by James Russell Lowell

   The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
 ~fortune cookie by Nelson Henderson


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