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funny family guy quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.
 ~quotes about Homosexuality by James Baldwin

   'Tis not the meat, but 'tis the appetite makes eating a delight.
 ~funny family guy quotes by John Suckling, Sonnet, c.1638

   We must not overlook the role that extremists play. They are the gadflies that keep society from being too complacent.
 ~saying on Conformity by Abraham Flexner, Universities, 1930

   Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling.
 ~funny family guy quotes by G.K. Chesterton

   Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.
 ~family guy by John Hardwick

   The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in trouble.
 ~sayings about family guy by Clara Ortega

   He's a wonderful talker, who has the art of telling you nothing in a great harangue.
 ~quotes about Speaking by Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Misanthrope

   You have come into a hard world. I know of only one easy place in it, and that is the grave.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Henry Ward Beecher

   Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.
 ~saying on Home by Frederick W. Robertson

   A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Author Unknown

   The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
 ~family guy by Frank Hubbard

   Platonic love is like an inactive volcano
 ~sayings about family guy by Andre Pevost

   We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others, by their acts.
 ~quotes about Ideals by Harold Nicolson

   Metaphysics may be, after all, only the art of being sure of something that is not so, and logic only the art of going wrong with confidence.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Joseph Wood Krutch, The Modern Temper, 1929 (Thank you, Jeff.)

   Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.
 ~saying on Dental by William R. Alger

   No man sees far; the most see no farther than their noses.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Thomas Carlyle, Count Cagliostro, 1833

   Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice.
 ~family guy by Author Unknown

   When one tears away the veils and shows them naked, people's souls give off such a pungent smell of decay.
 ~sayings about family guy by Octave Mirbeau

   It would not be at all strange if history came to the conclusion that the perfection of the bicycle was the greatest incident of the nineteenth century.
 ~quotes about Bicycling by Author Unknown

   Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1899

   Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
 ~saying on Manners by Eric Hoffer

   Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Author Unknown

   A slip of the foot, you’ll soon recover; a slip of the tongue may last forever.
 ~family guy by

   Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
 ~sayings about family guy by Bob Hope

   If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation?
 ~quotes about New Job Congrats by Author Unknown

   We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Herman Melville

   Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever
 ~saying on Birthdays by Don Marquis

   If you want to understand today, you have to search yesterday.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Pearl Buck

   Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.
 ~family guy by Edmund Burke

   Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
 ~sayings about family guy by Benny Hill

   Boredom is a vital problem of the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it
 ~quotes about Boredom by Bertrand Russell, philosopher and logician

   If everyone were clothed with integrity, if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well-nigh useless, since their chief purpose is to make us bear with patience the injustice of our fellows.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Misanthrope

   You must be the change you wish to see in the world
 ~saying on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Mahatma Ghandi

   It is a revenge the devil sometimes takes upon the virtuous, that he entraps them by the force of the very passion they have suppressed and think themselves superior to.
 ~funny family guy quotes by George Santayana

   God gave burdens, also shoulders
 ~family guy by Yiddish Proverb

   Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
 ~sayings about family guy by Mark Twain

   Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.
 ~quotes about Education by Mark Twain

   No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
 ~funny family guy quotes by H.L. Mencken

   If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.
 ~saying on Family by Ashleigh Brilliant

   A lawyer is a gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Lord Brougham

   We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams
 ~family guy by Arthur O'Shaughnessy

   Basketball, hockey and track meets are action heaped upon action, climax upon climax, until the onlooker's responses become deadened. Baseball is for the leisurely afternoons of summer and for the unchanging dreams.
 ~sayings about family guy by Roger Kahn

   Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect!
 ~quotes about Nostalgia by Owens Lee Pomeroy

   Present your family and friends with their eulogies now - they won't be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Anonymous

   Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.
 ~saying on Stress by Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

   The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Pete Dye

   Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
 ~family guy by Zora Neale Hurston

   Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.
 ~sayings about family guy by Stephen Covey

   This is either a forgery or a damn clever original.
 ~quotes about Funny Saying by Frank Sullivan

   We must not be forced to explore the universe in search of a new home because we have made the Earth inhospitable, even uninhabitable. For if we do not solve the environmental and related social problems that beset us on Earth - pollution, toxic contamination, resource depletion, prejudice, poverty, hunger - those problems will surely accompany us to other worlds.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Donald G. Kaufman and Cecilia M. Franz, Biosphere 2000: Protecting Our Global Environment, 1996

   If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
 ~saying on Golf by Lee Trevino

   Mother Nature is wonderful. Children get too old for piggy-back rides just about the same time they get too heavy for them.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Author Unknown

   Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
 ~family guy by Jeff Daly

   Hatred is one long wait.
 ~sayings about family guy by René Maran

   Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas.
 ~quotes about Night by J.K. Rowling, The Egg and The Eye, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, spoken by the characte

   A handful of pine-seed will cover mountains with the green majesty of a forestI too will set my face to the wind and throw my handful of seed on high
 ~funny family guy quotes by Fiona MacLeod

   The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.
 ~saying on Age by Doris Lessing

   There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
 ~funny family guy quotes by Ken Olson

   There are moments when art attains almost to the dignity of manual labor.
 ~family guy by Author Unknown


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