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funny college quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
 ~quotes about Patriotism by Albert Einstein, The World As I See It, 1934

   Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
 ~funny college quotes by Mort Walker

   Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift
 ~saying on I'm Sorry by Margaret Lee Runbeck

   You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.
 ~funny college quotes by William D. Tammeus

   The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.
 ~college by Ben Stein

   I firmly believe that if the whole materia medica could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind and all the worse for the fishes.
 ~sayings about college by Oliver Wendell Holmes

   In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Anne Sophie Swetchine

   The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic.
 ~funny college quotes by Henry Ward Beecher

   Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
 ~saying on Happiness by Buddha

   He who hears music, feels his solitude peopled at once.
 ~funny college quotes by Robert Browning

   Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.
 ~college by Roseanne Barr

   Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
 ~sayings about college by Jim Beggs

   A man willing to work, and unable to find work, is perhaps the saddest sight that fortune's inequality exhibits under this sun.
 ~quotes about Unemployment by Thomas Carlyle

   As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.
 ~funny college quotes by Thomas A. Edison

   There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place.
 ~saying on Changes by Washington Irving

   They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country. But in modern war there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason.
 ~funny college quotes by Ernest Hemingway

   Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.
 ~college by Lynda Montgomery

   In its broadest ecological context, economic development is the development of more intensive ways of exploiting the natural environment.
 ~sayings about college by Richard Wilkinson

   Did you ever hear anyone say, That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me?
 ~quotes about Censorship by Joseph Henry Jackson

   Half of the world’s work is done by people who don’t feel good.
 ~funny college quotes by

   It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
 ~saying on Alcohol by Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker

   The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
 ~funny college quotes by Henry David Thoreau, Walden

   The friend, the teacher, the merchant and preacher treat you according to your bank account.
 ~college by

   None preach better than the ant. And he says nothing. He preaches by example.
 ~sayings about college by

   Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
 ~quotes about Conformity by Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

   Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb.
 ~funny college quotes by Stephen Covey

   I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?
 ~saying on Luck by Jean Cocteau

   Every evil is some good spelt backwards, and in it the wise know how to read Wisdom.
 ~funny college quotes by Coventry Patmore

   Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.
 ~college by Jim Murray

   Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler.
 ~sayings about college by Francesca M. Cancian

   A penny will hide the biggest star in the Universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.
 ~quotes about Perspective by Samuel Grafton

   Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.
 ~funny college quotes by Eugene O'Neill, The Great God Brown, 1926

   Capital punishment: The income tax.
 ~saying on Taxes by Jeff Hayes

   The world just does not fit conveniently into the format of a 35mm camera.
 ~funny college quotes by W. Eugene Smith

   The gap in our economy is between what we have and what we think we ought to have - and that is a moral problem, not an economic one.
 ~college by Paul Heyne

   Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal
 ~sayings about college by Tupac Shakur

   Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister.
 ~quotes about Sisters by Alice Walker

   It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you
 ~funny college quotes by Dick Cheney

   You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.
 ~saying on Wise Words by Steven D. Woodhull

   All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
 ~funny college quotes by Cathy Ladman

   All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile.
 ~college by Chris Hart

   The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.
 ~sayings about college by Beatrice & Ira Freeman

   Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
 ~quotes about Civilization by H.G. Wells, The Outline of History

   The good news: Computers allow us to work 100% faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more work
 ~funny college quotes by Unknown

   One man with courage makes a majority.
 ~saying on Courage by Andrew Jackson

   Few women and fewer men have enough character to be idle.
 ~funny college quotes by E.V. Lucas

   Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
 ~college by Cree Indian Proverb

   The man with a clear conscience probably has a poor memory.
 ~sayings about college by Author Unknown

   We cannot, by total reliance on law, escape the duty to judge right and wrong.... There are good laws and there are occasionally bad laws, and it conforms to the highest traditions of a free society to offer resistance to bad laws, and to disobey them
 ~quotes about Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Alexander Bickel

   A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad
 ~funny college quotes by Theodore Roosevelt

   If a man be gracious to strangers, it shows that he is a citizen of the world, and his heart is no island, cut off from other islands, but a continent that joins them.
 ~saying on Attitude by Francis Bacon

   Human history begins with man's act of disobedience which is at the very same time the beginning of his freedom and development of his reason.
 ~funny college quotes by Erich Fromm, Psychoanalysis and Religion

   It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother
 ~college by Author Unknown

   Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at
 ~sayings about college by Author Unknown

   Wisdom is ofttimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar.
 ~quotes about Wisdom by William Wordsworth

   The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants.
 ~funny college quotes by John Andrew Holmes

   Courage is... the knowledge of how to fear what ought to be feared and how not to fear what ought not to be feared.
 ~saying on Courage by David Ben-Gurion

   They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.
 ~funny college quotes by Kahlil Gibran

   Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
 ~college by Scottish Proverb


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