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funny college quote generated randomly from our collections

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   Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
 ~quotes about Simplicity by Leonardo DaVinci

   My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
 ~funny college quote by Erica Jong, Playboy Magazine, September 1975

   Train yourself to tolerate others’ opinions. It’s just as hard for them to tolerate yours.
 ~saying on Relationship by

   Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.
 ~funny college quote by Author Unknown

   [T]hat is the triumph of history - truth absolute is not at hand; the original with which to match the copy does not exist.
 ~college by Jacques Barzun, Clio and the Doctors

   An acceptable level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
 ~sayings about college by Author Unknown

   When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
 ~quotes about Advice by Henry Wheeler Shaw, a.k.a. Josh Billings

   A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
 ~funny college quote by Yogi Berra

   There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either.
 ~saying on Poetry by Robert Graves, 1962 interview on BBC-TV, based on a very similar statement he overheard around 1955

   It is frequently the tragedy of the great artist, as it is of the great scientist, that he frightens the ordinary man.
 ~funny college quote by Loren Eiseley, The Night Country, 1971

   My life is my message.
 ~college by Mahatma Ghandi

   In an incredible perversion of justice, former soldiers who sprayed festeringly poisonous chemicals on Vietnam, and now find today that they themselves have been damaged by them, appeal to the people for sympathy and charity. The effects of the defoliant Agent Orange are discussed at length, but not one single newspaper article or hearing that we are aware of has even mentioned the effects of the people who still live in those regions of Vietnam. It's as outlandish as if Nazis who gassed Jews were now to come forward and whine that the poisons they utilized had finally made them sick. The staggering monstrousness goes unlaughed at and even unnoticed, as in a Kafka novel.
 ~sayings about college by Fred Woodworth, The Match, No. 79

   The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm
 ~quotes about Graduation by Fred Dehner

   It is only when the mind and character slumber that the dress can be seen.
 ~funny college quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I don't know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future
 ~saying on Self-Determination by Ralph Abernathy

   Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.
 ~funny college quote by Samuel McChord Crothers

   What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books.
 ~college by Sigmund Freud, 1933

   We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
 ~sayings about college by Buddha

   It is the love of country that has lighted and that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism.
 ~quotes about Patriotism by J. Horace McFarland

   One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
 ~funny college quote by George Archer

   I learned a lot about life from my little league footbal coach. He said, "Stay centered, stay focused, stay aggressive, and never ever quit!"
 ~saying on Sports by Clint Sprague

   Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with.
 ~funny college quote by Thomas Carlyle

   Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music.
 ~college by William Stafford

   Don't cookDon't cleanNo man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculateLie down, you hot bitch."
 ~sayings about college by Joan Rivers

   What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures.
 ~quotes about Marriage by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark
 ~funny college quote by Henry Louis Mencken

   No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have but a bit of ground that he can call his own. However small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property.
 ~saying on Perspective by Charles Dudley Warner

   There is no surer method of evading the world than by following Art, and no surer method of linking oneself to it than by Art.
 ~funny college quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

   Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary.
 ~college by Albert Einstein

   Is not the most erotic part of the body wherever the clothing affords a glimpse?
 ~sayings about college by Roland Barthes

   Life hangs as nothing in the scale against dear Liberty!
 ~quotes about Memorial Day by Lucy Larcom

   Remember: I before E, except in Budweiser.
 ~funny college quote by Author Unknown

   Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
 ~saying on Faith by J.R.R. Tolkien

   One of the best things about paintings is their silence - which prompts reflection and random reverie.
 ~funny college quote by Mark Stevens

   Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
 ~college by

   Concerning football playing, I protest to you it may rather be called a friendly kind of fighting, rather than recreation.
 ~sayings about college by Author Unknown

   Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up
 ~quotes about Sweetest Day by Jesse Jackson

   History is a living whole. If one organ be removed, it is nothing but a lifeless mass.
 ~funny college quote by Frederic Harrison, The Meaning of History

   Independence... [is] middle-class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.
 ~saying on Community by G.B. Shaw, Pygmalion, 1912

   Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.
 ~funny college quote by Elise Boulding

   I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!
 ~college by Author Unknown

   When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.
 ~sayings about college by Tuli Kupferberg

   [O]f all the aspects of social misery nothing is so heartbreaking as unemployment.
 ~quotes about Unemployment by Jane Addams, 1910

   The older I grow the more I listen to people who don't talk much.
 ~funny college quote by Germain G. Glien

   Dr. Miller says we are pessimistic because life seems like a very bad, very screwed-up film. If you ask What the hell is wrong with the projector? and go up to the control room, you find it's empty. You are the projectionist, and you should have been up there all the time.
 ~saying on Responsibility by Colin Wilson

   RUN.bitch.RUN.
 ~funny college quote by AJM.

   Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.
 ~college by Montaigne

   It is hardly respectable to be good nowadays.
 ~sayings about college by Edith Sitwell

   There is nothing that war has ever achieved that we could not better achieve without it.
 ~quotes about War by Havelock Ellis

   A pure hand needs no glove to cover it.
 ~funny college quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

   Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be.
 ~saying on Hope by Don Quixote

   That is a good book which is opened with expectation and closed with profit.
 ~funny college quote by Amos Bronson Alcott

   When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best.
 ~college by Leslie Grossman

   Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.
 ~sayings about college by Friedrich Nietzsche

   The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec.
 ~quotes about Computers by Marcus Dolengo

   Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.
 ~funny college quote by Arthur Schopenhauer, Studies in Pessimism, Psychological Observations, 1851

   When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply, "Ours."
 ~saying on Columbus Day by Vine Deloria, Jr.

   A great library contains the diary of the human race.
 ~funny college quote by George Mercer Dawson

   The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
 ~college by Edward Phelps


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