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funny christmas quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.
 ~quotes about Wisdoms by Ayn Rand

   A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Douglas Pagels

   We're all born brave, trusting, and greedy, and most of us remain greedy.
 ~saying on Trust by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spreadThe sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come near
 ~funny christmas quotes by Rebecca Harding Davis

   I think it's bad to talk about one's present work, for it spoils something at the root of the creative act. It discharges the tension.
 ~christmas by Norman Mailer

   I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it
 ~sayings about christmas by Mark Twain

   All great work is preparing yourself for the accident to happen.
 ~quotes about Opportunities by Sidney Lumet

   Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Henry Beecher, Life Thoughts, 1858

   Without the rain, sunshine wouldnt be so appreciated
 ~saying on Unknown by Not Sure

   We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.
 ~funny christmas quotes by William Ewart Gladstone

   We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.
 ~christmas by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
 ~sayings about christmas by Erma Bombeck

   To teach is to learn twice.
 ~quotes about Teachers by Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842

   Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Abraham Lincoln

   Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.
 ~saying on Books Reading by Charles W. Eliot

   Hunger is the best sauce in the world.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Cervantes

   Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning
 ~christmas by Frederick Douglass

   Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.
 ~sayings about christmas by John De Paola

   Every mile is two in winter
 ~quotes about Groundhog Day by George Herbert

   A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Lao-Tzu

   He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation... For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent.... We, therefore... solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States.
 ~saying on Taxes by The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies, 1776

   Better have a friend who does both good and evil, than one who does neither.
 ~funny christmas quotes by

   Money is important, but I don't want to spend all my life working for it
 ~christmas by Robert Kiyosaki

   I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
 ~sayings about christmas by Agatha Christie

   A book is a garden, an orchard, a storehouse, a party, a company by the way, a counsellor, a multitude of counsellors.
 ~quotes about Books Reading by Henry Ward Beecher

   Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Roger Miller

   The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week
 ~saying on Boss Day by Robert Frost

   Men are probably nearer the central truth in their superstitions than in their science.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Henry David Thoreau

   Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
 ~christmas by T.S. Eliot

   I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant.
 ~sayings about christmas by Ursula K. Le Guin, The Language of the Night

   A dream is a microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our soul.
 ~quotes about Dreams by Erich Fromm (Thank you, Sarah.)

   If at first you do succeed - try to hide your astonishment.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Author Unknown

   True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes, but the firm resolve of virtue and reason
 ~saying on Patriot Day by Alfred North Whitehead

   May your love be filled with life and may your life be filled with love.
 ~funny christmas quotes by

   The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be.
 ~christmas by Edgar Allan Poe

   Wanna make God laugh? Plan your future
 ~sayings about christmas by Unknown

   It actually giggles at you as it goes by.
 ~quotes about Baseball by Rick Monday, on Phil Niekro's knuckleball, quoted in Sports Illustrated, 1 August 1983

   Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.
 ~funny christmas quotes by The Women's Petition Against Coffee, 1674

   Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events.
 ~saying on Humor by E.T. Cy Eberhart

   All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
 ~funny christmas quotes by Lucy Van Pelt

   If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world.
 ~christmas by Heinrich Heine

   Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
 ~sayings about christmas by Author Unknown

   Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
 ~quotes about Golf by P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome, 1922

   Music rots when it gets too far from the dance. Poetry atrophies when it gets too far from music.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Ezra Pound

   We've arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology. We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. This is a prescription for disaster. We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces.
 ~saying on Technology by Carl Sagan

   The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying This is mine, and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not anyone have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows, Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Jean Jacques Rousseau, A Discourse on the Origin of Inequality

   The public buys its opinions as it buys its meat, or takes in its milk, on the principle that it is cheaper to do this than to keep a cow. So it is, but the milk is more likely to be watered.
 ~christmas by Samuel Butler, Notebooks, 1912

   The answer to old age is to keep one's mind busy and to go on with one's life as if it were interminable. I always admired Chekhov for building a new house when he was dying of tuberculosis.
 ~sayings about christmas by Leon Edel

   hEart has its own reason which eyes cannot see..
 ~quotes about Love by

   If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings
 ~funny christmas quotes by Welsh Proverb

   If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.
 ~saying on Changes by Saint Augustine

   There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.
 ~funny christmas quotes by John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

   Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
 ~christmas by Confucius

   A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.
 ~sayings about christmas by Lois Wyse

   The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.
 ~quotes about Driving by Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media

   If only I could leave everything as it is, without moving a single star or a single cloud. Oh, if only I could!
 ~funny christmas quotes by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishnessIt's the men who are discriminated againstThey can't bear childrenAnd no one's likely to do anything about that
 ~saying on Mothers Day by Golda Meir

   Get married, in any case. If you happen to get a good mate, you will be happy; if a bad one, you will become philosophical, which is a fine thing in itself.
 ~funny christmas quotes by Socrates, in Diogenes Laertius, Lives

   The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
 ~christmas by Ernest Hemingway


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