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funny christian saying generated randomly from our collections

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   She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand.
 ~quotes about Humorous by Saul Bellow

   It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.
 ~funny christian saying by Horace

   As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
 ~saying on Telephones by Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies

   The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water: not before or after, but instead.
 ~funny christian saying by Author Unknown

   To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
 ~christian by Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876

   Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
 ~sayings about christian by Groucho Marx

   Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
 ~quotes about Teachers by Gail Godwin

   Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.
 ~funny christian saying by Author Unknown

   Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home, and never, ever be both.
 ~saying on Parties by David Brown, quoted in Reader's Digest Quotable Quotes, April 2004

   When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.
 ~funny christian saying by Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

   How can the spirit of the earth like the white man?... Everywhere the white man has touched it, it is sore.
 ~christian by Anonymous Wintu Woman

   I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
 ~sayings about christian by Al Oerter

   Sometimes we make love with our eyesSometimes we make love with our handsSometimes we make love with our bodiesAlways we make love with our hearts
 ~quotes about Valentine's Day by Author Unknown

   The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian pahks his cah, the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to warsh his car and invest in erl wells.
 ~funny christian saying by Author Unknown

   An inability to stay quiet is one of the most conspicuous failings of mankind.
 ~saying on Silence by Walter Bagehot

   There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before.
 ~funny christian saying by Robert Lynd, The Blue Lion and Other Essays

   Develop a built-in bullshit detector.
 ~christian by Hemingway, advice to Stanley Karnow, as quoted in Friendly Advice compiled and edited by Jon Winokur

   We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.
 ~sayings about christian by Richard P. Feynman

   When you reread a classic you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than was there before.
 ~quotes about Books Reading by Clifton Fadiman

   For those uneasy with the world, solitude is the only guarantee of confidence.
 ~funny christian saying by Terri Guillemets

   Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.
 ~saying on Stress by Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

   A man's age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man's age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories.
 ~funny christian saying by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell

   The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.
 ~christian by Mark Van Doren

   Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
 ~sayings about christian by Hungarian Proverb

   Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
 ~quotes about Faith by Martin Luther King Jr.

   One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best
 ~funny christian saying by Alan Shearer

   The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.
 ~saying on Kindness by John E. Southard

   Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.
 ~funny christian saying by Lewis Mumford

   Hypocrite: the man who murdered both his parents... pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
 ~christian by Abraham Lincoln

   The basic problems facing the world today are not susceptible to a military solution.
 ~sayings about christian by John F. Kennedy

   Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them?
 ~quotes about Adversity by Rose F. Kennedy

   A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
 ~funny christian saying by Irish Proverb

   Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around.
 ~saying on Life by David Lodge, The British Museum Is Falling Down, 1965

   If a politician murders his mother, the first response of the press or of his opponents will likely be not that it was a terrible thing to do, but rather that in a statement made six years before he had gone on record as being opposed to matricide
 ~funny christian saying by Meg Greenfield

   There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.
 ~christian by Colette

   If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought.
 ~sayings about christian by Dennis Roth

   If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first.
 ~quotes about Cats by Arthur Weigall

   The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality
 ~funny christian saying by Martin Luther King Jr.

   It's like, at the end, there's this surprise quiz: am I proud of me? I gave my life to become the person I am right now! Was it worth what I paid?
 ~saying on Self by Richard Bach

   Marriage changes passion - suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
 ~funny christian saying by Author Unknown

   God has been replaced, as he has all over the West, with respectability and air conditioning.
 ~christian by Imamu Amiri Baraka

   There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book; books are well written or badly written.
 ~sayings about christian by Oscar Wilde, Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891

   The creative act lasts but a brief moment, a lightning instant of give-and-take, just long enough for you to level the camera and to trap the fleeting prey in your little box.
 ~quotes about Photography by Henri Cartier Bresson

   We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse.
 ~funny christian saying by Author Unknown

   You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
 ~saying on Carpe Diem by Joan Baez

   I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
 ~funny christian saying by John F. Kennedy, in an address to Nobel Prize winners

   Marriage is a mistake every man should make.
 ~christian by George Jessel

   Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
 ~sayings about christian by Zsa Zsa Gabor

   You should always believe all you read in the newspapers, as this makes them more interesting.
 ~quotes about Media Journalism by Rose Maccaulay

   For souls in growth, great quarrels are great emancipators.
 ~funny christian saying by Logan Pearsall Smith

   The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything
 ~saying on Birth by Oscar Wilde

   The days a man spends fishing or spends hunting should not be deducted from the time that he's on earth. In other words, if I fish today, that should be added to the amount of time I get to live. That's the way I look at recreation. That's why I'll be a big conservation, environmental President, because I plan to fish and hunt as much as I possibly can.
 ~funny christian saying by George Bush, quoted in Los Angeles Times, 30 December 1988

   Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; The soul that rises with us, our life's star, Hath had elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar; Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come from God, who is our home
 ~christian by William Wordsworth

   How much pain they have cost us, the evils which have never happened.
 ~sayings about christian by Thomas Jefferson

   Sports Do Not Build Character...They Reveal It
 ~quotes about Sports by John Wooden

   Nature cannot be tricked or cheated. She will give up to you the object of your struggles only after you have paid her price.
 ~funny christian saying by Napoleon Hill

   A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity
 ~saying on Competence by Robert A. Heinlein

   I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now
 ~funny christian saying by Author Unknown

   Except in cases of necessity, which are rare, leave your friend to learn unpleasant things from his enemies; they are ready enough to tell them
 ~christian by Oliver Wendell Holmes


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