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funny christian quotes generated randomly from our collections

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   I want to reach that condensation of sensations that constitutes a picture.
 ~quotes about Art by Henri Matisse, Notes d'un peintre, 1908

   Youth comes but once in a lifetime
 ~funny christian quotes by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

   If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you.
 ~saying on Religion by Author Unknown

   Someone said, The dead writers are remote from us because we know so much more than they did. Precisely, and they are that which we know.
 ~funny christian quotes by T.S. Eliot

   Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom
 ~christian by Marcel Proust

   Failure changes for the better, success for the worse.
 ~sayings about christian by Lucius Annaeus Seneca

   If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
 ~quotes about Fishing by Doug Larson

   If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
 ~funny christian quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

   The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
 ~saying on Carpe Diem by Author Unknown

   A man's kiss is his signature.
 ~funny christian quotes by Mae West

   It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can
 ~christian by Sydney Smith

   Television should be the last mass communication medium to be naively designed and put into the world without a surgeon-general's warning.
 ~sayings about christian by Alan Kay

   Any baseball is beautiful. No other small package comes as close to the ideal in design and utility. It is a perfect object for a man's hand. Pick it up and it instantly suggests its purpose: it is meant to be thrown a considerable distance-thrown hard and with precision. Its feel and heft are the beginning of the sport's critical dimensions; if it were a fraction of an inch larger or smaller, a few centigrams heavier or lighter, the game of baseball would be utterly different
 ~quotes about Baseball by

   Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
 ~funny christian quotes by Groucho Marx

   I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green.
 ~saying on Gardens by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Mosses from and Old Manse

   Newspapers: dead trees with information smeared on them.
 ~funny christian quotes by Horizon, Electronic Frontier

   A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
 ~christian by Helen Rowland

   Envy is the most stupid of vices, for there is no single advantage to be gained from it.
 ~sayings about christian by Honore de Balzac

   There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go.
 ~quotes about Happiness by Frederick Faber

   And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that can understand.
 ~funny christian quotes by George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra

   We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
 ~saying on Happiness by Frederick Keonig

   Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries.
 ~funny christian quotes by Luis Buñuel

   Art is an adventure that never seems to end.
 ~christian by Jason, Los Cerros Middle School, 1999

   Speaking ill of others is cheap, dishonest way to praise ourselves.
 ~sayings about christian by

   If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
 ~quotes about Goals by J.M. Power

   The Theologian is an owl, sitting on an old dead branch in the tree of human knowledge, and hooting the same old hoots that have been hooted for hundreds and thousands of years, but he has never given a hoot for progress.
 ~funny christian quotes by Emmet F. Fields

   The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the Four F's: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.
 ~saying on Sex by Unknown psychology professor in neuropsychology course

   Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
 ~funny christian quotes by G.B. Stern

   What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.
 ~christian by Thomas Paine

   I look to a time when brotherhood needs no publicity; to a time when a brotherhood award would be as ridiculous as an award for getting up each morning.
 ~sayings about christian by Daniel D. Mich

   Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
 ~quotes about Society by Bill Vaughn

   Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
 ~funny christian quotes by Casey Stengel

   We ought to dance with rapture that we might be alive... and part of the living, incarnate cosmos.
 ~saying on Dancing by D.H. Lawrence

   Affectation is a greater enemy to the face than smallpox.
 ~funny christian quotes by English Proverb

   To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.
 ~christian by W. Somerset Maugham

   I didn't want to tell the tree or weed what it was. I wanted it to tell me something and through me express its meaning in nature.
 ~sayings about christian by Wynn Bullock

   It is unfortunate, considering that enthusiasm moves the world, that so few enthusiasts can be trusted to speak the truth.
 ~quotes about Enthusiasm by Arthur James Balfour

   Speed in tennis is a strange mixture of intuition, guesswork, footwork and hair-trigger reflexes. Many of the players famed for quickness on court would finish dead last in a field of schoolgirls in a race over any distance more than ten yards.
 ~funny christian quotes by Eugene Scott

   Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
 ~saying on Marriage by Groucho Marx

   Sickness is poor-spirited, and cannot serve anyone; it must husband its resources to live. But health or fullness answers its own ends, and has to spare, runs over, and inundates the neighborhoods and creeks of other men's necessities.
 ~funny christian quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Beauty draws us with a single hair.
 ~christian by Alexander Pope

   The middle sort of historians (of which the most part are) spoil all; they will chew our meat for us.
 ~sayings about christian by Michel de Montaigne, translated

   We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
 ~quotes about Sports by Vince Lombardi

   Having imagination, it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that, if you were unimaginative, would take you only a minute. Or you might not write the paragraph at all.
 ~funny christian quotes by Franklin P. Adams, Half a Loaf, 1927

   Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
 ~saying on Kindness by Attributed to both T.H. Thompson and John Watson

   Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it.
 ~funny christian quotes by Mark Twain

   All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
 ~christian by buddha

   Live simply that others might simply live.
 ~sayings about christian by Elizabeth Seaton

   It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.
 ~quotes about Sex by Chinese Proverb

   May thy ball lie in green pastures... and not in still waters.
 ~funny christian quotes by Author Unknown

   Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
 ~saying on Jobs by Doug Larson

   As Geography without History seemeth a carkasse without motion; so History without Geography wandreth as a Vagrant without a certaine habitation.
 ~funny christian quotes by John Smith

   Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand
 ~christian by Thomas Carlyle

   No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace, As I have seen in one autumnal face.
 ~sayings about christian by John Donne

   Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
 ~quotes about Drugs by Abbie Hoffman

   The reluctance to put away childish things may be a requirement of genius.
 ~funny christian quotes by Rebecca Pepper Sinkler

   What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.
 ~saying on Virtue by Voltaire

   When I die, I will not see myself die, for the first time.
 ~funny christian quotes by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   A statistician made a few calculations and discovered that since the birth of our nation more lives had been lost in celebrating independence than in winning it.
 ~christian by Curtis Billings


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