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funny celebrity quote generated randomly from our collections

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   Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses.
 ~quotes about Jobs by Ira Wallach

   When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
 ~funny celebrity quote by P.J. O'Rourke

   Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection.
 ~saying on Sex by Author Unknown

   Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Anne Gibbons

   We can buy players for £2m, but it's only when you buy a player for £6m that you can guarantee that they will bring something to the team every game.
 ~celebrity by Dick Advocaat

   She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Woody Allen, Getting Even, 1973

   A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
 ~quotes about America by Bill Vaughan

   It might be more worthwhile if we stopped wringing our hands and started ringing our congressmen.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Author Unknown

   It's snowing still, said Eeyore gloomily. So it is. And freezing. Is it? Yes, said Eeyore. However, he said, brightening up a little, we haven't had an earthquake lately.
 ~saying on Attitude by A.A. Milne

   All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Sir Winston Churchill

   Envy is a waste of time.
 ~celebrity by Author Unknown

   If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problemEverything else is inconvenience
 ~sayings about celebrity by Robert Fulghum

   Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves
 ~quotes about Freedom by William Pitt

   We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
 ~saying on Vices by Woody Allen

   You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
 ~funny celebrity quote by James Thurber

   There are thousands of thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up the pen and writes.
 ~celebrity by William Makepeace Thackeray

   You can't lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Gene Mauch

   Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
 ~quotes about Wise Words by Jonathan Kozel

   I simply believe that some part of the human Self or Soul is not subject to the laws of space and time.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Carl Jung

   Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
 ~saying on Goals by David Lloyd George

   This communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary effects for it redoubleth joy, and cutteth griefs in half
 ~funny celebrity quote by Francis Bacon

   Religion supports nobody. It has to be supported. It produces no wheat, no corn; it ploughs no land; it fells no forests. It is a perpetual mendicant. It lives on the labors of others, and then has the arrogance to pretend that it supports the giver.
 ~celebrity by Robert G. Ingersoll

   If I could only remember that the days were, not bricks to be laid row on row, to be built into a solid house, where one might dwell in safety and peace, but only food for the fires of the heart.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Edmund Wilson

   In the real world, the right thing never happens in the right place and the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has.
 ~quotes about Media Journalism by Mark Twain

   Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Rainer Maria Rilke

   When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
 ~saying on Adversity by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   You don't take a photograph, you make it.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Ansel Adams

   The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.
 ~celebrity by E.W. Howe

   Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Author Unknown

   Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.
 ~quotes about Speaking by Ira Gassen

   The impossible can always be broken down into possibilities.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Author Unknown

   Physics is imagination in a straight jacket.
 ~saying on Science by John Moffat

   The best vitamin for making friends is B-1
 ~funny celebrity quote by Unknown

   Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
 ~celebrity by Chinese Proverb

   Before you can break out of prison, you must first realize you're locked up.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Author Unknown

   There is more felicity on the far side of baldness than young men can possibly imagine.
 ~quotes about Hair by Logan Pearsall Smith

   Once one has seen God, what is the remedy?
 ~funny celebrity quote by Sylvia Plath, Mystic

   A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose.
 ~saying on Writing by Samuel McChord Crothers, Every Man's Natural Desire to Be Somebody Else, The Dame School of Experien

   The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities
 ~funny celebrity quote by Sophocles

   Still more astonishing is that world of rigorous fantasy we call mathematics.
 ~celebrity by Gregory Bateson

   I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Jack Handey

   I'm not an environmentalistI'm an Earth warrior
 ~quotes about Earth Day by Darryl Cherney, quoted in Smithsonian, April 1990

   TV. If kids are entertained by two letters, imagine the fun they'll have with twenty-six. Open your child's imagination. Open a book.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Author Unknown

   Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity - a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother.
 ~saying on Parenting by Rose Kennedy

   Why are sex and violence always linked? I'm afraid they'll blur together in people's minds - sexandviolence - until we can't tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Dick Cavett, 1978

   Holidays are enticing only for the first week or so. After that, it is no longer such a novelty to rise late and have little to do.
 ~celebrity by Margaret Laurence

   Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Lewis Mumford

   When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!
 ~quotes about Dogs by David Starr Jordan

   The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.
 ~funny celebrity quote by Stanley J. Randall

   It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble.
 ~saying on Marriage by Kenny, age 7, when asked if it's better to be single or married

   Most guys aren't that picky. They may have quicker reflexes around large breasts, but they need more to keep them interested. We know plenty of women whose sex appeal makes their breasts exactly the right size.
 ~funny celebrity quote by From The Playboy Advisor, Playboy magazine, March 2004, in answer to the question, If you have small

   Affluence creates poverty.
 ~celebrity by Marshall McLuhan

   By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
 ~sayings about celebrity by Phyllis Diller

   The lack of emotional security of our American young people is due, I believe, to their isolation from the larger family unit. No two people - no mere father and mother - as I have often said, are enough to provide emotional security for a child. He needs to feel himself one in a world of kinfolk, persons of variety in age and temperament, and yet allied to himself by an indissoluble bond which he cannot break if he could, for nature has welded him into it before he was born.
 ~quotes about Family by Pearl S. Buck

   Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools.
 ~funny celebrity quote by William Congreve

   If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot.
 ~saying on Anger by Korean Proverb

   The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity.
 ~funny celebrity quote by André Gide

   The principle of using interactivity as a creativity-builder is not restricted to computer games. Once we become fully conscious of this principle, we can find ways to become more interactive everywhere. We can make conversations with our family and friends more interactive than they once were. The more thoughtful our questions get to be, the more interactive the conversation
 ~celebrity by Steve Chandler


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